Hating husband

I’m struggling badly with negative emotions towards my husband, we’ve got 11 month old twins. I thought I’d give it time to see if my feelings are gonna change and improve but I just hate him more and more. I can’t stand that he can go shopping, barber, clean the car whenever he wants and I have to stay with the twins. He doesn’t have much time for me, he’s too tired for serious conversations and always busy with errands to take over twins. I love my babies so much but I hate the life I’m living specifically with this man under one roof. I’m not sure if this is my hormones (I breastfeed), Postnatal depression or it’s that my husband doesn’t pull his weights. I’ve tried talking to him a million of times it just brings more rage in me I just want to leave but I can’t do this to my babies. My rage turns me into an aggressive shouty crazy woman. I often have the urge to hit or throw items. I’m so angry at him. Should I speak to gp maybe first?

Show your support

speak to a gp might be the hormones. i wouldn't just say that your husband needs to sit down and interact with you all. his responsible for helping u with the twins. even if u had a few hours to yourself it would make a huge impact because you will get that you time again

We loose our freedom with children and men loose less so i guess is adjusting to the change of your freedom that its furstrating too..honestly i did not give birth yet hut this inequality is digging my mind already im finding it very difficult to like my man throughout the pregnancy as well

this doesn’t sound like postnatal depression to me, it sounds like you’re overwhelmed because your husband isn’t stepping up, and that’s a perfectly natural reaction. you’re doing so much, not just for your babies but for your home, while he seems to be living life as if nothing’s changed. that’s exhausting and deeply unfair. speaking to your GP is still a good idea for support and clarity, but i don’t believe this is all in your head. it’s about the imbalance in your relationship. i would encourage you to talk to him again, but this time with firm boundaries. let him know exactly what you need him to take on/what you expect, specific tasks or time dedicated to the twins, and that things have to change. if he doesn’t respond well and nothing improves after this, please know that leaving isn’t selfish. a happier, more fulfilled you will ultimately make you a better mama. your babies need you at your best, and you deserve a partner who makes that possible, not one who makes it harder.

Sounds to me like y’all need to schedule your free time. Say this is the schedule we need to keep things functional (transportation, work, appts, etc.), and then the free time. It may still be uneven or look differently weekly but it needs to be there. Husband wants to wash the car and has free time on X day to do so, but the next day you have free time to do something you need/want to do, and X day y’all are going to order takeout and watch a movie once kids are asleep or whatever. Otherwise you’re going to keep losing it. Talking to GP wouldnt hurt bc hormones, ppd, or ppa could be feeding into it.

Your s/o needs to step tf up. I wouldn’t tolerate this.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌