Advice needed please!

I have a 5 year old daughter who started kindergarten this year. She has always had some behavioral issues but recently it has been so bad at school with her. She has a lot of good days, but within the past week, she’s had 3 days where she’s had major outbursts. She’ll hide under the table, kick chairs, throw them & refuse to move or leave the classroom. She has her last behavioral appointment tomorrow afternoon & will be diagnosed with whatever they think is appropriate. Her behavior isn’t the best at home either. I’ve tried disciplining. I’ve tried “grounding” her. I’ve even tried just talking to her after she does something she isn’t supposed to and all she can ever tell me is “idk”. It’s hard for her to pay attention. I’m just at a loss on what to do here. Both my boyfriend & I have tried what feels like everything we can, so now I’m reaching out here hoping someone has been through a similar situation with their child and can give me some pointers! What worked best for your child?

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Does she have adhd? Is she autistic? Have you considered getting her help through therapy?

hi friend, my son is not as old as your daughter but I did work as a lead teacher in a t-k (4s) classroom for two years and what I can tell you is cutting out screen time helps so much. I know that that sounds like what is trendy right now, etc. but at home if you just spend the whole day, no electronics or TV and just continue to correct her it will get better. sending you all my love and positive energy!

Art therapy might be good for her

Calm down jars, minimal or no screen time, limit sugar if she has any, lots of outside time to burn off energy. I don’t know these are some things that have worked with my oldest (he’s nearly 3 but my sister and HV suspect he has autism)

Tbh I know you said you’ve said you and your boyfriend has tried almost everything but I feel like she just needs connection . I don’t know why I just do . Maybe do something different with her . A change of scenery , something like that . Plan a little trip doesn’t even have to be big . Find a nice park in a different city and do a picnic with her . Just make it about her . Tell her how much you love her and that what is best for everyone is for her to try to calm down whenever she gets upset . Just talk to her. Have a heart to heart. I think that would really help.

Get her properly diagnosed with a medical provider of YOUR choosing. Ultimately, discipline starts in the home, and you seem to be at a loss. Get her some behavioral therapy and research as much as you can. There has to be a reason why she's acting this way.

I worked with kids with autism. Not saying your child has it but it may be nice to figure out her triggers and ways to de escalate when she is like that. Have a space where she can re regulate at school and at home.

Pls take my advice with a grain of salt 😅 But I would recommend (you the parents not your daughter yet)watching the show Bluey as stupid as that sounds. Leading by example is the easiest way for any kid to learn. But if she also has sensor needs find out what things! Like a spiny chair, dark and quiet space, full body compression blanket, etc!

As Monica said, she needs a diagnosis from a doctor. Schools find kids eligible under certain criteria but school cannot diagnose. You are going to want to go to your pediatrician to talk about resources and diagnosis.

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