Does anyone else feel like the husband/ partner doesn’t do the work because they know you will..

You gotta let him do it on his own terms otherwise you’ll burn out and will have bad relationship with him most likely.

@Polina I know.. but I cant stand to see my bubba crying. 😭 like honestly my husband hasn’t even checked the last time he had a bath because he just assumes I must do it I guess..

Yes! This is the most frustrating thing to me! Either they lack urgency or are purposefully slow knowing they will get help if they dont preform. I always say consideration is the truest form of love so when my husband does this I feel sooo resentful. I got a little petty a few times and would do what he does and he doesnt even notice lool but honestly think he genuinely doesn’t do it on purpose hes just a deeper sleeper and tunes out noises (even the dog) where I cannot listen to crying or barking whatever or wanna go crazy. The struggle 😂🤦‍♀️

@Sarah that’s exactly what I see! It’s the lack of urgency that kills me and it really does make me resentful. I love that saying about consideration, it’s very true. Honestly men don’t deserve women 😓

Sounds like weaponised incompetence, he needs to get a grip and take responsibility

My fiance does the same! We'll be sitting on our bed with bubba and she'll be playing while we keep an eye so she doesn't fall off but for the most part we're just doing our own thing. She likes to be on his side because she really likes his quilt for some reason but if she gets stuck in an awkward position while trying to move around and starts fussing, he'll just ignore her until I eventually do it even if she's right in front of him. Also just yesterday I had decided to deal with the literal pile of recycling I had asked him to take out 4 times in the last 2 weeks AND THEN he decided to say "oh i could've done that." Hats always his response when I do something that he should have done. It honestly makes me feel like he doesn't even care, especially in circumstances that involve our daughter.

Yeah. That's a woman's life. "If I don't do it, it doesn't get done"

I wish mine would even give baby 1 bottle a day🤣

I don’t think they all do it on purpose, they don’t have the instincts we do as mothers. I’m pretty militant when it comes to others caring for my child, works well for me personally 😅 my husband is far too laid back or too slow for my liking sometimes so I just call him out on it or rush him lol, I’ll explain that the baby isn’t going to wait for him she doesn’t understand why she isn’t changed or held right there and then. He gets stressed out as he doesn’t mean to take his time and worries he’ll be the reason she’s upset, he tends to understand better when I explain what it seemingly feels like for the baby.

Yes and it's the most frustrating thing. He won't take initiative most times but will do things and be hands on when asked to. He did just automatically do baby's bottle though today so I give him that. And he does try but sometimes something so obvious he'd be obvious to idk if it's a tactic or genuine tbf. As Fateha said above they don't have the natural maternal instincts so may not be on purpose

@Ella literally 😂 my husband said about 8 times in 24 hrs he was going to carry the pack n play upstairs and setup for baby due next week. Never did it lol 2 days later I did and he goes omg you’re so stubborn I was going to do that 😂😂😂 bud?!

I’m not gonna lie, it sounds like you need to have an honest talk with your partner. This is coming from someone who has been exactly in this place. The problem is, if you just constantly take over rather than saying “hey, the baby needs to be fed and it’s your turn” - then yes, of course your partner will assume you have it covered, because you DO! It’s tough because some men are soooo into it and just handle the baby stuff with no prompting. Others need some verbal support — and it has taken me 6 months to accept this about my husband. I just say “hey, I need to do XYZ, can you do ABC for the baby.” And he does it.

In this scenario, you’re my husband and I’m your husband. Whenever our babies cry he responds within seconds. Especially during feedings. Babies can cry for a bit. Adults bathroom breaks is understandable. That’s just my take. You shouldn’t leave a baby crying for a long period of time, but short periods are okay.

@Elyssa in some cases this is true, in other cases not so much. In this case that very well may work, but if it's like my fiance, I can tell him 700 times that I need him to do something and I still end up having to do it myself.

The problem (most times) is women will always do it. It’s either their mother does it or their partner. My husband isn’t like that. He’s very active and I don’t need to tell him to do things especially common sense things. To be honest I also believe you live the life you allow. Same way some guys are weaponising incompetence on purpose to get out of doing things at home, it’s very intentional. Women have to be intentional too when dating/courting and setting boundaries & not allowing men to just get away with it because “boys will be boys” mentality

Definitely have a chat with your partner, sounds lazy and will burn your relationship out! There are great guys who do actually get on with it straight away!