What's normal? Balancing childcare responsibilties

Is it a renovation for all of you? Like your house? Or a personal project like a car? If it benefits you, it makes sense that you’re taking care of the baby because he’s actively working on something for everyone. If it’s a hobby project, you gotta work out time for both of you. My husbands currently building some things for our upcoming babies room and redoing the living room so there’s more space and storage - I spent the day cleaning, cooking, painting, being with our kid. Everybody’s gotta do their piece and I can’t do his :)

@Roksan It's a house. He's wanted to do this his whole life, I supported him in that dream. I would have been happy to move into a property requiring minimal to no renovation. However, this is now approaching 4 years. For many things he refuses contractors, and it is now impacting my savings as well as his. For clarity, we are currently living in a small house that I mortgaged before meeting my husband.

@Roksan To check, is this what you do everyday - do you get a day off, how long has it been going on for? (Edit: Do you also do the night shift?)

I work all week and go to grad school twice a week at night. We both work during the week and split driving our daughter places and he takes care of her while I’m at school, I’m the main parent the other 5 days of the week. I do most of the cooking because both she and I prefer my food, and most of the cleaning although he usually cleans the kitchen and does his own laundry. I don’t get a day off, he doesn’t get a day off - we’re both doing things all day long, even if they’re different things but there’s rarely time for anyone to take “me” time. That’s just the way it is - there’s too much to do. My daughters 13 and I’m 17 weeks pregnant, so we added the renovation project because we need to make another room. 4 years is too long to be dragging on, there’s a point at the which you have to finish the project even if that means using contractors (and we’re the type to do everything ourselves but there’s limit). That’s the point where it becomes an ongoing hobby building project

@Roksan Thank you for sharing. I hope you find balance in future. I'm glad time could be found from your impossibly busy schedules to work on the baby's room. We had our car stolen last week, and everything else had to be set back, and favours called in, to manage the situation. We have no time to add extras.

Tbf, it’s just my personality to be absurdly busy and everyone who knows me says it sounds like absolute torture to pack so much stuff on. It’s not for everyone for sure. Having your car stolen is such a huge issue :( I hope you can get that resolved!!!

@Roksan Your choice right? Yes, all sorted thanks. Happened on Thursday before nursery. We've got the next car, just need to finalise paperwork with the insurance company.

Glad it’s sorted!! That’s one less hassle. I’d love some more help in certain areas but tbh, I knew who my husband was when I married him. An incredible life saver in an emergency, will drop everything to change my flat tire, makes his job accommodate him driving our daughter so I can go to school - but he’s never going to wash the floors, ever. And if he does, I’m not gonna be impressed because he literally does not care if things are clean. No care in the world. But I’ve learned to pick my battles because it’s not worth the aggravation if he’s good in so many other ways 🤷‍♀️ he is def a project person though, so I do have to reign in the length of time things take

My husband and I both work. He loves working on his car, I try to support this. During any time we’re free, we discuss what we hope to get done - he might have a car project, I might have cleaning to do, one or both of us might need a break. We plan the day accordingly. Sometimes I get more kid-free time, sometimes he gets more

So long as I don't have to work as well and he won't complain about money then I'll happily look after the kids and house my way. However if he is hime on long periods then he has to give the kids tine too. Thus giving you a breather. Get him to pay for help and you get time off too or he can look after the kids so you get sone off time. Owise once the kids are more independent I feel like I'd resent the guy. Doesn't matter what is happening the other parent should help out.