Ashamed to admit I feel like I’m failing as a wife/mom.

You are not! It’s so hard to find time for cleaning. What I try to do, is clean one room a day. And if I get into it keep going. If not I leave the bucket for the next day.

You are doing so many jobs and you are just 1 person! You are doing the role as a house cleaner, a cook; being a mom is a full time job and cleaning the house is not the job of the mother. It’s every adult who lives there responsibility. And guess what it’s normal for not everyone to get everything done. It’s why they say it takes a village. Back in the old days when we relied on community we had someone doing the cooking for the village we had the community to help clean and hunt and gather and help with childcare- it was never meant to be a job for one person or one nuclear household. So you aren’t a failure, society has failed us as mothers and our children who have their moms too busy trying to do more than we can chew.

You’re not failing! You’re doing the best you can. The mess can wait, you’re raising a baby and doing everything you can to make sure your baby is well. In our house , Sundays is for a full cleaning, husband makes meal prep for the week for him and I + dinner & our laundry. During the week we only clean up the toys every night, clean up any mess we can and I do my baby’s laundry any day of the week when his laundry basket is almost full. I only make my baby’s & I breakfast and lunch, and husband makes dinner for them while I’m working. Also thinking of getting those vacuum/mop that do it themselves so our floor doesn’t get too dirty.

Probably not the best answer or what you wanna hear lol, BUT do you ever think you're husband is failing as a husband that he doesn't give you a chef, maid, babysitter etc so your house is in order? 🤪

Girl I feel this in my core. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind because of how messy my house gets. I'm such a neat freak and my toddler wrecks it and my husband is too chill to notice. Not to mention we have a little baby who sucks up time and attention.

How old is your kid? Maybe you could give them a clean sponge and play "mop" together. If they are still little, you can put them on a hip seat while you use a swiffer or a steam mop. It is really hard, but it does get easier. Today, I mopped while the kids looked at nonbreakable Christmas ornaments, which probably wouldn't have been possible last year. (Do you have a felt tree?) Hang in there, you will have time to yourself again to do housework or whatever else you choose. If your husband is not complaining (or sometimes even if he is), don't spend your energy making yourself miserable. The house will wait.

Don’t feel like you’re failing!! I think my partner always reassures me caring for my little girl is my full time job and housework is a bonus which has always helped me feel more relaxed about it. We try to tackle housework chores between us. Recently I did get overwhelmed about it and said I appreciate I don’t get pressure from him about it but it stresses me out when I feel I’m behind with household stuff, now he has taken over bedtime routine (which is also nice as it’s a consistent bonding window for them as he doesn’t get to spend that much one to one time) and I use this time to tidy and clean (mainly downstairs so I don’t wake her) and have a shower and a moment to myself. This has really helped me the last few weeks x

Same

@Libbie - sounds like you and I won the husband lottery. I could have written your comment. I would find it impossible without the support of my husband and the state of my home is still quite bad because he works very long hours.