Am I been unreasonable?

So we’re going up to my partners mums after Christmas who has only met my son once who’ll be 5 1/2 months old by this point. My partner wants to go and see his friends band play which I have no issue with and he wants his mum to watch our son which I’m not exactly comfortable with but as a compromise I’ve said maybe she can watch him in the hotel where it’s quiet and I can make it similar to our room at home. His mums house is chaotic and has her, her boyfriend (who also is the local dealer), his two sisters, bother and his nephew living there and there dog. My partner sees no issue with leaving our son at his mums house but I’m really getting in my head about it as even having her watch him is a massive step but I think leaving him in there house is a step too far and also having to then move him afterwards is another thing too. I’m also EBF too which is another thing.

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He trusts her because she's his mum. You don't know her like that so the trust needs to be built. I'd suggest gradually building up to it but leaving it as an option that he just goes to see his friends band play on his own while you stay with baby.

If her boyfriend is the ‘local dealer’ I would not be having my son near her / them, let alone leaving him with them. Sorry, it’s a hard no from me.

I agree with Amy, I would not be having my little boy anywhere near that house. Anyone could be turning up. I also wouldn’t be leaving him with someone that’s met him only once, doesn’t matter if they are family or not x

I agree re: the drug dealer thing, but I'm assuming incognito and family don't have such a problem with it as he's still very welcome in the family 😅

Personally I think I would send hubby to watch the band with his mates whilst I stay back with the baby. That way your baby can spend more time with your MIL whilst you are there to make sure nothing rookie happens. I think it takes time seeing someone around your baby before you are ready to leave them with them.

I could not comfortably leave my baby with someone that has only seen them once. How's little one going to feel waking up from a nap in a strange place with someone they don't recognise

@Caroline I have a massive issue with it but we live in London so out of sight out of mind and all that and it’s not my place to have an opinion about who his mum chooses

Incognito - Completely respect that but it is your place to have a say on who sees / looks after your son where safety is concerned. So hopefully the responses here will validate your concerns and give you the courage to be assertive when you need to be on this matter with your partner and/or his family. ☺️

Personally wouldn’t be leaving my child in her care at all. Would maybe be okay with her seeing them while I’m there but she wouldn’t be babysitting without me there at any point, no.

I wouldn't even go. I'd stay home and let him go to his families and watch the band. I wouldn't feel comfortable in that environment

And no it's not your place to have an opinion about who his mum chooses but it is your place to decide who is around your baby

But you do have a place to say who is involved with interacting with your child. God forbid your child found his stash and ate something they shouldn’t!!! Sorry hard no for me! Child would not be allowed within 10 miles of the house! If mil wants to look after the child she would have to do so on my very strict terms which would be her bf is under no circumstance to have any contact with the child. And I would reinforce that if she dares have him round the child I would have them arrested!

It’s definitely not your place to have an opinion on who your MIL dates but it’s 10000% your opinion and CHOICE on who looks after your baby. If they care about you and you’re not ready then that should be the end of it. If they’re selfish and don’t care about you then they’ll kick up a fuss. And those sort of people aren’t worth a place in your life.

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