BD and his GF

Why are you uncomfortable with your baby being around his gf? Is there a reason? (Genuine question!) I think anxiety is super natural, especially if he doesn’t do much for your daughter. Maybe say you’d be happier to let him take her in future alone if the first time/few times you could go with him? This might work in your favour because he’ll either a) say no and therefore problem solved or b) let you meet the gf.

@Beth thanks for your comment🫶🏾 i think the biggest thing is that he doesn’t really interact with our daughter like hes always on his phone when hes with her…he just watched her alone for the first time 2 weeks ago so i could go do something and literally had my 9 yr old babysitting her sister while he watched basketball on his phone😳 she gave her sister a bath and got her ready for bed and when i got home he left my baby on the couch alone😅 and idk this girl so it makes me uncomfortable to leave my baby with ANYONE other than my mom. my own sister doesnt even watch my kids i just have my comfort levels and i have high expectations for the level of care that i want my children to receive 😭 ik that was a super long answer to your question but thats basically why my anxiety is so bad about the situation 😭😭😭

Girl, I don’t care what no one has to say but if I can’t meet the girl, she can’t be around my child point-blank.

@Princess thats how i feel too! like i literally asked my bd if he wanted to meet my bf and he said no😂😂😂 i think hes still butthurt abt everything and he likes this girl bc she doesnt hold him accountable and its fun. theres no way i can trust her or him alone with my baby atp😂

Girl, you are her mother. If you’re being an adult about the whole thing then I don’t see why he’s gotta issue with it… I’d also want to be sure my baby is getting the same level of care that their baby would & that your baby is not being treated some type of way bc it’s not hers. Yk? I’d be uncomfortable as well. To me it would feel like I’m dropping my baby off with a complete stranger😏 Have you tried reaching out to her yourself? Bc it could just be him being all weird about it & not her? I dunno! But I totally get it & you’re not being bitter!! Being “bitter” would be you trying to destroy their relationship/withholding your child bc he’s got a new girlfriend/etcetcetc. You literally just want to meet the girl lol I don’t see the problem! Hope you can figure it out love!

If you think that he would do something to harm your child, don’t let him take your child anywhere. But if you don’t think that he would do anything to harm your child and he’s trying to spend time with the child, you gotta trust his judgment. This is at the end of the day somebody that you were with on and off for five years and that you decided to have a baby with. I know it sucks because us as mothers want to always make sure that our babies are good but just remember, anxiety comes from the feeling of not having control and unfortunately, we can’t control every situation. It was an active choice to parent with someone who was having a baby with someone else so at the end of the day your daughter has a sibling out there and her father and if you genuinely don’t feel like he has any malicious intent towards your child as far as neglecting her or abusing her you had to let that need for control go, allow him to be a father even if it’s not up to your standards.

If I can’t meet ex partner/baby dads other half then they can’t be around my kid. I would never introduce a partner to my kid unless every party was comfortable with it tbh. It’s a respect thing. And if one thinks it’s too soon then it’s a conversation that should be had

Let go of the control. I understand 100% why you’re uncomfortable with her being around your child, but that’s also her siblings mom and her dad’s partner. Some things we don’t have control over. And maybe this is triggering for you. I know I would be struggling to accept another baby and woman after I get pregnant. But if she’s safe, let it go. Things change over time too. It won’t always be this way. Sending you love

After reading the post, I see why you feel the way you do. You can’t control the situation and they seem less than mature enough to be adult about it. This may not go in your favor though. Either baby girl misses time with her dad, court dictates how much time you both have, or you guys make a big mess of things and no one wins

Hi, please keep your daughter close to you and protected. If he doesn’t do anything for her, then he is not needed. Never ignore your gut instinct or anxiety. Sounds like he’s proven he cannot properly care for her. You not meeting his gf is just extra icing on the cake. All the signs and answers are right there. Please believe them and take them at face value.

Nah he needs to allow you to meet his gf

I just had my first child. But my son’s father has a 10 year old son. When it comes to him my first priority was that his mother knew I respected her, that if she needed to meet me or talk to me that was perfectly fine. I knew how I would feel in the situation so I gave her the same courtesy and respect.

I don’t care if I can’t meet her he is not taking my child. Because how is she going to take care of her 5 months old and a 11 months old? No way

There’s is no justifiable reason for him to not allow you to meet her. He wants you to allow a stranger to care for your baby??

thank you all for your support i definitely needed this 💜💜💜

Gurl it’s your baby, who goes around ur child u have to meet , if he doesn’t allow that then the baby doesn’t need to go anywhere. You’re the baby’s protector at the end of the day and if he doesn’t do anything for his child why let him have a baby he doesn’t care for ? Please gurl your not bitter Yur being mindful of the situation

@Jazmine You give valid points and i totally agree with you. Your BD is an Ahole. But my question is does he also have any form of custody being that the child belongs to you both?

@Missy Thankfully no! hes not even on the birth certificate bc he sucks😂

I’m sorry but I didn’t even finish reading but heelllll to the noooo will my child be going with my bd girlfriend if there not even adult enough to meet me. On top of that, you don’t do nothing for my daughter it’s a no. Listen to your instintcs. No mama just no. Maybe have someone of his side (girl family member) who may understand where you’re coming from to help him understand.

I would need to meet her otherwise my son wouldn’t be going. I would also need to see what environment they have set up to receive my son. You said that dad doesn’t help so I would need to make sure she is a very calm and willing person to take care of a 5 month old and a 11 month old.

Nah if he won’t let you meet her but takes your daughter around, that’s weird and I’d have a huge issue with it. Is her baby also his? If so it needs to be a conversation between the three of you adults about child care and you being able to express your feelings and concerns.

@Princess This… 100%. It’s a no for me.. 😅

My honest opinion is he needs to establish a relationship with your child in front of you first

You’re anxiety is completely normal. The fact that you’re BD doesn’t do anything for you’re daughter in general warrants you’re feelings and it’s perfectly normal to want to meet the face that’s going to be around you’re child, I personally would want to know who’s around my kid when my kids not with me because we live in a scary world and some people can act different with you’re child simply because that child isn’t theirs 🥴 for me personally I’d state that you can talk to you’re daughter on the phone or visit her but I don’t feel comfortable having her out of my company with you and someone else until I’ve met them. If the woman is a normal human being I’m pretty sure she’d be feeling the same if it was her daughter around you. Side note I know someone who’s BD got with a new woman and he had a kid for this new woman even married her and she tried to cut him off from the two kids he already had with my friend once her kid came into the picture. Long story she was evil 2 the kids

@Jazmine men never wanna meet our partner if we’ve moved on because they can’t accept the fact they fcked up and that someone else is treating us the way we should of been treated and also if she really and truly doesn’t hold him accountable for anything I’d be more reluctant to have my child around 2 adults that can’t point out right from wrong they sound collectively like poor role models to be around

@Shan 💯

He should let u meet the women. U wouldn’t let them go to a child minder without meeting the child minder and staff right? So why let ur child around someone u never met. If there’s nothing off about this person he shouldn’t see issue with it and I’m sure he’d ask the same of you. It’s not bitter your simply asking - imagine how awful u would feel if worst case this person hurt ur child or something happened. I know u can’t just know this by meeting people once but it’ll help give you an idea and as the other Mumma she should want to make u feel good about her. Just my opinion but just because someone steps into your child’s life doesn’t mean you have to except them especially if ur not offered reassurance. It’s not bitter it’s protection. If u meet her and then for no reason say no he can’t take ur child there it’s different

I’ve already told my BD if we ever split and he meets someone knew, baby isn’t to meet them until 1: it’s serious and 2; I’ve met them too and vice versa

@Kaydee but you know realistically we have no control over that right? It seems like everyone is acting like it’s just a choice

I wouldn’t be letting your daughter go! A man should always let you meet the girlfriend or else the child cannot simply go