Has your partner ever done this?

I’ve not experienced this over something that is so important to me, but I have over smaller things. People can be together and not love the same things, so he doesn’t have to love Christmas but he shouldn’t make it awful for you. I’d say next year don’t include him in any of the things. He’ll either be fine with it and you’ll have a great time, or he won’t like it and he’ll ask why, and you can tell him that he ruined it for you this year. I always think that while our partners shouldn’t make us unhappy, it’s up to us to make ourselves happy, so protect what makes you happy!

Maybe don’t hold onto why you’re upset until next year? Talk to your spouse, tell him why you’re upset, if he’s unwilling to discuss how you feel, that’s a flag in itself my friend ❤️ He doesn’t have to love Christmas, but if it’s important to you, he will show up in the ways that matter. If he isn’t showing up, tell him. Being a parents isn’t always fun, but WE ALWAYS SHOW UP for our kiddos. Whether we like it or not.

Is there a reason he’s a Grinch? Does he associate Christmas with negative memories/feelings? That’s the only thing I can think of. Is he like this with other things important to you?

I'm afraid I have been through something similar. Not at Christmas but often for trips away that I've planned almost exclusively myself for the both of us (which he originally enthusiastically agreed to btw) and he's done his best to be miserable 😅 I'm not entirely sure why he did it but his dad is the same and I see a lot of problematic behaviours 'inherited' from him! Now I'm older I'm better at communicating with my OH and he is a bit more mature, so we can usually get to the bottom of issues before they cause problems like that, and nowadays I would ask him outright where his mood is coming from as soon as I see it rather than getting upset about it and trying to talk about it later when he's already forgotten about it!! Sometimes he genuinely is tired and that's it 🤷‍♀️ I'm the same when I'm hungry 😅 but one thing I've learned is: it's rarely about the surface level thing, ie Xmas.

Yes 😩 Every time I try to do something as a family it ends in disaster. I eventually stopped inviting him. I realized that me juggling 3 kids alone at the movies, restaurant etc. is better then the whole thing being ruined by his mood

Yeah my husband doesn’t really like Christmas. I think it’s because he has bad memories from childhood. Christmas is my favourite time of year :( the last two years we were with my family but this year we agreed to stay home to be with his mum. He’s not that excited but he’s making a bit of an effort. I have no idea what Christmas Day will be like because this is a different culture and I don’t know how to expect or prepare and he’s not really helping with that. So my expectations are low I guess. And my mum said we can do another Christmas when we go back to UK in Jan. For now I’m just trying to do the things I want to by myself and if he wants to get involved he can 🤷🏻‍♀️ since I know why he feels like this I’m just taking the small wins and not trying to make him do anything he doesn’t want to.

I think this is the majority of men, they just aren't interested in Christmas. We've just been to see santa and my other half moaned the whole time, I just ignore him and don't even ask to go shopping or wrap together

My husband doesn't help a lot in general. I bought and wrapped around 15 presents by myself. Didn't even ask him to help. I brought the whole 7.5ft Christmas tree upstairs from the top rack in the garage. I decorated everything. I bake cookies with the kids. I plan the Christmas activities, get the dresses and photoshoots and I make the memories. He didn't ask me yet what I want for Christmas, which means that I rather won't get anything or get something I don't need because he's usually not attentive. I have so many things that I would like to have for our home but don't buy because we're not in a good financial spot. Does it bother me? Yes absolutely. I love Christmas and I wish to be with a partner who does have the same values. But I don't. So I don't expect anything from him and do my thing, just for me and for our 3 little ones.

@Irina I can relate to this entire comment.

Hmm, not so much like this, but my husband is a general grump and negative Nigel if I try to get him to do something that is important to me or that I like doing, but he is disinterested in. Almost to the point that I don't like to ask anymore. I think maybe you have to just vocalise it - "this is important to me, could you please make an effort?"

I agree with other pepole, he may not enjoy christmas and thats okay. If it's any consolation, I have never met a man who enjoys/participates in those things willingly. And that is literally every man I have ever met in my family, friends or otherwise. My husband is the same as well! I just expect to do it myself, and I am okay with that. If that is something you aren't okay with, I would try communicating your expectations and your feelings of hurt to him so he understands. I'm sorry something special to you felt ruined. ❤️

My husband isn’t a fan of Christmas. I do most of the festive stuff myself but he does make an effort to please me but sometimes I just enjoy it more alone x

Grrrrr 😖 is all I can say to this . I’m sorry this happened.

My husband is a total asshole around all holidays. I thought it would get better when he got sober. But no apparently he's just a big holiday bummer. So that's just my life...

My first Mother's Day as a mother got ruined. Didn't go anywhere, didn't get flowers, and kinda got put on the backburner. His brother came over with alcohol and wanted to take some shots with him while i was nursing baby(his brother has a horrible relationship with his baby mama so of course he wanted to get drunk and was so inconsiderate that it was my first mother's day too🙄 never recievedan apology from him either). Well before that happened we were making plans for what i wanted for dinner cause i already felt like i wasnt being celebrated as a mother. Well my FIL went to pick up the food since alcohol became involved on that day