Should I give up gym for my partner?

My partner seems to have a problem with me going to the gym and is making it really difficult for me. Trying to keep this short, he works in the fitness industry, he’s a bodybuilder, trains 5-6x per week, spends £200+ per month on his own leisure club membership that he spends hours training in and going to the spa after work. We used to go gym together before having kids, it’s the only thing we ever did and bonded over it. Even though we didn’t go gym together anymore after having kids, he used to support me going and training. I made so much progress with my body. I had to stop gym for a while because my new job schedule made it tricky, and being a mom. When I tried to sign back up to a gym to go in my lunch breaks, he had a big problem and told me no. He said my only option is to use the residential gym in our apartment building (it’s very small, minimum equipment and not somewhere I can properly train) but he’s given me no other choice. When I mention that I want to sign up to a gym and get back training again, this gets him very upset and he tells me no, and I can only use the residential gym on the evenings when he is home from work and that’s my only option. Today, I have done EVERY bit of housework, I have looked after the kids all day (it’s Saturday so I’m off work and he was at work, but he trained after work and went to the spa), when he came home at 5:30pm I said I’m going to the gym (I barely get to go to the residential one once or twice a week because he makes it difficult). He was clearly not happy, when I got back he is now very mad and told me ‘my priorities are wrong’. He uses that statement every time I mention or ask to go gym, like I shouldn’t be focusing on gym I should be taking care of my home, doing housework etc. but I don’t understand because every single thing was done. I don’t know what to do because I don’t do ANYTHING else for myself, I’m so unhappy with my body I lost all my gains and I want to get back training and it really helps me mentally. But if this will cause a big problem between us because he doesn’t want me to sign up to a gym, so I really don’t know what to do
Like
Share Mobile
Share
  • Share

Show your support

Very odd and controlling. My hubby had recently trained as a PT and before than has always encouraged exercise. Doesn’t care if the house is a state when he gets home from work (in an office) - he knows how hectic mum life is! I don’t like the sound of his controlling and stereotypical this relationship sounds. I hope you are ok x

Sorry to say but it sounds extremely controlling. Remember there is two of you who are adults in the house, therefore two of you have the responsibility of keeping it up together. I do all of ‘the pink jobs’ at home, which I don’t mind at all. However, I make it known that when I am tired or need time for myself at the gym the house work either is on the back burner or my husband needs to step up and help. Do not allow someone to not let you be who you are and who you want to be. My husband had issues with me going to gym at the start of our relationship, I led out that i do it for me and me only therefore I will make the time whether he likes it or not. I know it’s hard but remember you are your priority. ❤️ xx

Oh this is a red flag and very abusive behavior towards you and I’m so sorry you have to deal with it. You’re an adult so I can’t see how another person can tell you not to go to the gym. I’d probably suggest digging into why he doesn’t want to spend time at the house and help you out so you have time for yourself. It’s essential. Your priority should always be your health, your body, and your mind. Tour child and tour family will o lot benefit from it.

Very controlling. The gym has saved me and my mental health! I wouldn’t be giving it up for anyone. If he’s aloud to go, why aren’t you? It’s not making sense to me!

I'd definitely be having a big conversation as to getting behind the truth as to why. Seems to me like he needs to be the one to get his priorities straight not you, does he actually enjoy looking after his child? Does he think it's not his 'job'?

Read more on Peanut
Trending in our community