Am I wrong ?

So my boyfriend’s bm calls about 3-4 times a day for him to talk to their son(1yo). (NO I DONT HAVE AN ISSUE WITH THAT) but my issue is the excessive calling and when she does call, it’ll be something like she puts their son in the camera for the first 5 minutes or so then faces it to her and just talks and rambles and my boyfriend would sit the phone down to not be in the camera but responds to anything dealing with their son. Then she’ll put the camera back on their son and my bf would pick the phone back up , 2 mins later it’s back on her and she starts rambling on again. Sometimes it’s things that she already told him earlier that day on stuff about their son and he’ll say “yeah I remember you telling me this or that” and I told him he needs to set boundaries because it’s a pattern and she isn’t respecting the fact to let you talk with y’all’s child instead putting herself in the phone with conversations about the child that’s already been had. He has stated that the only times to call is morning before he goes to daycare and at night before bed but before 9:3pm. And she stills calls during the day and doesn’t care and he stops answering then she’ll claim “your son wanted to talk to you” so he’ll call back to talk to him then she’ll pop up minutes later with her shirt hanging off her shoulders, setting the phone up as she walks around the house and he would hang up . Then she tried to guilt trip him saying “you hung up on your son” when their son would be in the living room or something and she would have the phone & he wouldn’t respond to that text. Am I wrong for telling/asking him to add stricter boundaries?? ( I know it’s not my place but as the girlfriend, I feel like it’s disrespectful in a way) and he tries not to be too hard because he’s afraid she’ll take his son away from him if he be more aggressive with telling her not to call unless it has something to do with the child only. He doesn’t know how she’ll react and I don’t want her to become bitter behind it neither.

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You're not wrong for wanting that, and your feelings are valid, but I also understand your boyfriend's fear of retaliation if he decides to put his foot down. If the agreement is in the morning before daycare and at night before bed, then I would suggest that he sticks to that agreement for the most part. I would take some comfort in the fact that even though she's clearly playing games that it sounds like your boyfriend is doing what he can in the situation to be respectful to you while also not provoking her.

Of course . I guess it just stems from wanting her to stop playing the games because we are all grown and I just didn’t think it was very appropriate of her to make the moves that she was making, especially when it comes down to the boundaries that are already set. I respect him and I respect her, but I can’t continue to just let things fly by when me and my boyfriend are trying our hardest to be respectful about a lot of things that she’s doing. And the guilt tripping and gaslighting that she does has become very exhausting to deal with, and he’s on his lim too but just like you said, he doesn’t want any conflict of her being bitter, keeping his son away from him. I hate that he even feels like she would, but I understand why.

Omg that’s so annoying. And the child is a year. It’s not like they can actually talk or have anything important to say 🤦🏻‍♀️ I mean I get it, how she may want to keep him from him, I would have reiterate the times she can call because that’s just not acceptable.

Sounds like he’s being respectful to u , but unfortunately I don’t think there’s anything he can say cause she’s probably still going to do it or like u said he doesn’t want to risk her keeping him from him. U have a good bf tho cause he doesn’t seem like he tolerates her bs

I feel for him a lot . He just wants to be there for his son anyway possible but it’s hard for him when the bm is the way she is. People outside this app saying “you shouldn’t deal with him while she like that” but I won’t be a girlfriend that faults him for her doing because he’s doing his part.

lol the outside comments makes no sense 😭 u should stop dating a guy because his bm keeps coming on the phone ? Yeah that’s dumb

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