This is a hard one. The other way round (if a man was climbing on top) would maybeeeee be seen as “rapey”. However without knowing more about your sex life and relationship (which you may not want to share) it’s hard to really know 💕
That is so rude I’m sorry. He could easily say he’s not on the mood.. are you guys married? There’s not a lot of context clearly we don’t know you and your relationship but I really don’t think there’s an excuse for that kind of communication bc that’s just plain mean. I’m never in the mood and we have 3 kids and I’ve never rejected him that brutally… I just say I don’t want to or I’m not in the mood, sorry I don’t have any drive.
Sorry he has made you feel this way. Have you asked him what it is that you are doing that makes him think that? It sounds like he has a fear of you getting pregnant, but I assume he doesn't mind so much if it's him initiating? Or perhaps he just wants to be in control? That's a him problem, not you. He shouldn't be making you feel this way at all.