So frustrated

My husband has been working 12 hour days 6 days a week for the last week. He works at his family business so he has to be very hands on during their busiest time. I understand how hard he works and I love and respect that about him. I am having such a hard time looking after our baby (4 months) alone 12 hours a day and having a husband who just falls asleep when he comes home and does nothing to help with our baby. I feel like screaming. He does nothing but ask me why I have such an attitude when he gets home and just wants to relax. But it’s because I never get to relax. I don’t even get to enjoy an evening because it’s spent picking up the house to have it look okay for the holidays. I wrapped the gifts did all the shopping and took care of her alone. I get upset and he says oh you really want to talk like that in front of the baby (I said fuck). I want to scream at him to help me. I want to scream but I really don’t want to have to just to feel heard.

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I feel you! My husband drives truck. He leaves Monday between 12-2am and is home Friday night/ Saturday morning. Then gets mad, when I get frustrated if he sleeps in and I get up with the baby. His excuse is “I just want to sleep in for a day” but I never get to. I’m with baby 24/7 (5 months old). He’s home for 36 hours before he leaves on the road again. I’m definitely going insane. Might I add, that this is a new job, that we were unaware how long he would be on the truck for at a time. So not something I was prepared for. Didn’t sign up to be a single mom when we decided to have this baby. It’s definitely hard mama! And I recognize you! You are a rockstar for handling everything!

Get a sitter for a few hours. It doesn't have to be a regular thing. Call it a Christmas gift to yourself. Maybe do it again around her first birthday. It can be hard to spend money on yourself as a SAHM, but sometimes you have to, and right now is that time for you. It can be hard to picture leaving your first beautiful child with anyone else, but they won't be kidnapped. You'll come back and be able to go on for another stretch. To double the effectiveness, go the whole time without looking at your phone (have the volume on, just keep it in your bag/pocket without looking). It does get (a lot) easier as your child gets older. Two years from now, you might even be wondering whether it's easier when he's gone. But for now, you're drowning, and from time to time, you just need to come up for a big gulp of air. 🫧

The only rest I would get was nap time with the baby. First I would clean up the house but then I just started sleeping when she slept. 2–3 hours. If the house was messy I would just tell him I had a hard day too, if the mess bothers you this much you should clean it, so he started doing the dishes before he went to bed and washing her bottles and taking out the trash so I would just clean up her toys

Definitely have a conversation. I blew up years later and it’s had such a negative impact, tell him you appreciate the hard work and know it’s to support his family but it doesn’t mean he gets the neglect you and your baby you made together. You are hands on 24/7 because it is a Job whether he sees it or not which means so should he no matter how tired the both of you are

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