Leaving the house with newborn

Can you not suggest your husband go and pick his mam up and bring her to you? Or would you not be happy for him to take the baby by himself? I think at around 2 weeks my husband took my daughter to his mother in laws just for an hour so I could have a rest and a little sleep x

@Ashleigh i’ve actually suggested he goes to get her to bring her round whenever suits and my mum has also said she will go and pick her up and bring her over too. I think at 2 weeks I would be more than happy to pop round, it’s just within that first time period I’m a bit unsure about.. our plan is also to breast feed, so I think I would have to be readily available rather than him leaving with the baby if that makes sense? xx

@Lydia love this, thank you! I feel like he thinks I’m being unreasonable, but I don’t think he’s quite clocked yet what my body is going to be going through or how knackered were both going to be with a newborn..! He’s just very excited to show him off I think xx

I think I would be okay as it’s so close but just depends how comfortable you are feeling and how long you need to stay. I would also say let him go fetch his mum and bring her back to yours I BF my daughter and couldn’t leave her at 2 weeks yet because she fed so so often but all babies are different x

No I understand everyone feels completely different after birth, I would just speak to your husband again and set your boundaries. I think if you live with your mum maybe set some boundaries there also try spend as much time the 3 of you to adapt to your new life xx

You should only do what youre comfortable with and not cater for what others prefer. But also so youre aware you will have 5 day and 10 day check ins (maybe more dependent on babies weight loss) where you'll travel to be seen in case this else changes your view at all as you won't just be staying at home.

@Jess thank you for that. Yeah I’ve told her she is absolutely more than welcome to come here and we have multiple people who can pick her up/drop her off. My parents have even offered to take the dogs out or visit other family while she’s over if she wanted a bit more personal time with her new grand baby, but I do think it’s probably just something we’ll have to approach at the time and see how we all feel then! x

@Ashleigh yeah that’s a really sensible idea, thank you x I’m very lucky with my parents to be honest, they’re very aware with boundaries and personal space etc, but I’m actively making sure my husband and mother in law don’t think there’s priority regarding family if that makes sense? Thank you again! xx

@Alicia thank you for that. I think it might just be a case of seeing how things are and how we feel closer to the time! x

It is Absolutely not unfair of you to want to stay home I think it’s unfair if your partner is adamant it should be more about supporting you and your recovery within those first few weeks. You hear of people not leaving the house for months so it’s whatever suits you. The first 2 weeks is the most precious and not to mention you’ll both be sleep deprived and recovering yourself. I didn’t realise how long you bleed afterwards ( i was approx 6 weeks!) but after saying that do you think a bigger support group would help aid your recovery and not be as sleep deprived it depends how you look at it really xx

You've had some lovely advice 😊 you don't need to go if you don't want to, it's perfectly reasonable to say that you only want visits. Like Leah mentioned, toileting is quite a thing for postpartum care. You'll probably be in the huge maternity pads for the first 2 weeks, I didn't like changing them anywhere but my own space. You'll also potentially be caring for tears/grazes/cuts every time you need a wee. Then there's number 2s which take a while to settle back into a rhythm and can be painful and you don't want to erm "miss opportunities" when they arise, I was still on laxatives at 2 weeks. Honestly, just toileting is probably more than enough reason PP for wanting to stay home - on top of having all of baby's things close by, your own changes of clothes, baby bath in case of explosions, your own bed if you get a chance to nap etc. I don't understand why it's such a big deal to go to her, it sounds like you've already made really accommodating suggestions x

I would approach the subject now and put your foot down. I personally think it’s too cold to be taking him out especially in the first two weeks. He can always go and fetch his mum and bring her round if she wants to see little one. X

If you’ve made that offer than you don’t need to feel and at all. I’d leave it until closer to the time and leave the expectation that she comes over to yours x

Thank you all so much for your advice, really appreciate it ❤️ x

It is absolutely not unreasonable. I would wait until baby is here.. once your partner sees what you go through, and how you are the other side, I think he will suddenly understand you wanting to hibernate for 2 weeks. Of course if you want to go out then you can and that’s a bonus, but my plan is also to hibernate and we’ve already said we don’t want any visitors for the first week at atleast at all. Xxx