HELP!!!😭😭

But you were split up when you slept with him? I dunno - that’s not cheating. If it’s about it being a former mutual friend then that’s a different issue. I think clear honest communication about how both of you were and are feeling and less of a blame game. 🤷

Yeah I feel the same way, y’all were split up. What was done while y’all weren’t together should be kept in the past. If y’all want this to work, gotta let the past go to have a future together. Y’all may need therapy to work on moving forward

Hes mad bc it was an old best friend and that i didn’t tell him back when it happened. and understand where he’s coming from i just hope he’s able to move past this 😭 i love this man with my whole heart & i hate that i did that. I never wanted to hurt him. I was just hurt myself bc we were split up & I was drunk

I probably wouldn’t keep contact with the person you had slept with just to reassure to your husband that it was a drunken mistake while you guys were split up and that you value his feelings more than the other guy. Moving forward you might want to look into couples therapy and focus heavily on good communication with each other. Maybe also try to really focus on building your relationship, making dates a priority and do little things here and there to show him you really care about him and want to make things work and thrive together

I have cut off all communication with the guy. I have been doing whatever I can to show my husband I am serious & I only want him.

How did he find out about this? I don’t know why some men be so hurt when they be doing them. I am sure he was sleeping around smh I understand it was his ex best friend. Are y’all separated now?

It wasn’t his business when it happened you weren’t together. That said, he can feel his feels. Give him the space to do that and don’t feel like you have to try to make him feel any way. His feeling are his own to deal with and handle. If you both are going to make things work, look closely at the deep issues that caused the previous two break ups. What’s going on there? Work individually and together on being better people and better partners, even if it doesn’t end up being each other. Every time friends/ family have gotten rocky or split but debated getting together my advice is “Can you be your best self with this person?” Set boundaries: I will not have a conversation with you if you call me ugly names or make threats. If we raise our voices, let’s take an hour to go to separate spaces then decide if can continue calmly or need to table it and self evaluate thoughts/ feelings on it for a later date.

What you did split up is your business, to be quite frank. If you guys are going to make this work, he needs to realize any relation you had when you 2 were not together is none of his business regardless if its an old close friend of his. You did not mess up or make a mistake. I would suggest couples counseling since you guys are going threw some rough patches.

give it time

If u were still married that’s cheating so I mean he’s not in the wrong if he thinks it’s a deal breaker. And it makes it that much worse that you hid it. Not judging whatsoever just being real here to put things into perspective for you. Pray about it. Hopefully he forgives you and u guys can move on. You seem genuinely sorry so that’s good

We were not yet married when it happened. We just got married last July & this happened 2 years ago. But it doesn’t excuse what I did. I should have never slept with anyone else. I am truly sorry & I hope he realizes that. 😭

And it doesn’t help that I hid it for so long. I should have been upfront and honest I was just scared to lose him.😞

@Taja he went thru my phone when we first got back together recently and found an old message from the guy on fb. He claims he wasn’t doing anything but I was all the way in Pennsylvania while he was in Florida for a few months & we were trying to work on our relationship until he found this out.

Oh okay I don’t condone cheating but if your on a break it’s not cheating. I would’ve delete that message from that guy so fast and when he would’ve went through my phone he wouldn’t have seen it. I really hate that I hope he forgives you! Sad that men can do whatever to a woman but as soon as she does it it’s the end of the world😩

He went thru your phone and found a an old message from 2 years ago. That makes me feel lile he was looking for something to start stuff. You guys slpit up and were not married. In my books you have nothing tobe sorry for. That is your business and he need to respect that. Yeah he can have his feels but needs to understand you two were not together and that is your business.

@Shelley 💯

Yeah he left me, he told me he didn’t want this relationship anymore & I got drunk & did a stupid thing bc I was upset. Do I think it was right absolutely not it was far from right or okay. I should’ve never done it but everyone makes mistakes & we weren’t together. He was definitely looking for something to start stuff over but it was okay when he was adding a bunch of females on fb and Snapchat including a couple ex gfs telling these girls how beautiful they are & his ex gf how he missed her and went out of his way to save old photos from an old convo between them and tell her he still had their photos together. And he was going out to the bars and shit when I wasn’t around & we were split up. But it’s ok bc he “didn’t sleep with anyone”

“he didn’t sleep with other people” I don’t believe that for a second 🤷🏻‍♀️

And he’s asking for paternity test for all 3 kids too.

Wow that’s a bit much asking for paternity tests. So sorry you having to go through that.

I think he just said it bc he was angry. But it is still fucked up.

Ok so after reading ur reply , since u guys weren’t married yet it does help ur case a lot. At the end of the day no woman owes commitment to a man that hasn’t fulllyyyy committed to his woman yet and married her. Unless ur the one that postponed the marriage. At the end of the day all this boils down to his heart if his heart is pure and he loves you he will forgive you. Holding a grudge doesn’t do anything good. Everyone makes mistakes