Something controversial

I feel at times people are so ready to call the other parent narcissist and claim they are a high conflict parent when In reality they aren’t. Don’t get me wrong yes, there are for sure some crazy people out there others have to coparent with. Even ones who are physically and emotionally abusive. But I see at times where in certain situations the non custodial parent isn’t wrong. They have a right to ask certain questions, they have a right to want the same things as the other parent(especially if they are involved) and it’s the custodial parent who is being aggressive. Not trying to shame moms days before Mother’s Day (US), but I also don’t like that at times we want our kid’s father to be more involved or step up, but then we also demand they do things our way. Like it’s either it’s YOUR baby, or it’s “OUR” baby. And dad should have a say, how are we gonna shit on him for not doing enough but then when he tries we give him shit for doing something with OUR child that’s not a cause for concern and just not our way? It’s either we are coparenting or we are single parents. Regardless I think everyone needs to learn to communicate more and put themselves in the other parents shoes.

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I would definitely do that if the father of my unborn child didn't just walk out 5 months ago to get high smoking crack, walking the streets of Detroit. I just WISH and PRAY that he could have stayed clean. Let alone, long enough to see his first son born. I'm staying positive though knowing I'm doing this alone. Unless the dad is abusive, a raging alcoholic or drug addict, LET HIM be involved no matter how YOU feel about him. It takes two to make a baby.

@Emily that’s how I feel. Unless there is serious reason for him to be kept away or watched we need to allow both parents to parent

In my personal experience as a single mom, I have safety reasons as it relates to drugs and violent behavior (for example he just got arrested again for assault) that I operate according to. Not to mention the abuse he pushed onto me as well. In general, I do think people have a reason to do what they do. Ive seen some people go very overkill for what seems to be no reason, but I give the benefit of the doubt in knowing exactly how it feels to be on the side everyone (fathers side) makes out to be overkill, and then it turns out they were right everytime. There are two sides to every story. However my ex has been diagnosed with narcissism and was video taped abusing me. So I think it goes without saying sometimes we know what were talking about 🤷🏾‍♀️ however if its two balanced level headed individuals, clearly someone is holding a grudge and using their child as a pawn due to their emotions, which I would never condone.

Yes! I hate how over-used that word is now. As someone who actually had a narcissistic ex, I don’t like talking about it because of those who have made it into a throw away word. Not every “mean” person is a narcissist! I feel like if I ever do talk about my ex as a narc I have to explain so much and give examples and basically prove it to everyone before they even slightly believe me (I even have video evidence of the things he did)…..so I just don’t bother 😮‍💨

I know for my situation my lo is 2 and her dad is absent. He has undiagnosed mental issues and refuses to see a doctor. When he does want to show up I allow him to. I know me and I know him. The kind of places that he would take my daughter to I would be constantly worried. But I feel like I’m lucky cuz I dont have to deal with him since he chooses to be absent. I only reach out to him when I need something (like for a passport) and nothing else. I find it easier this way because I can see myself trying to micromanage what they would do. I’m not gonna force him to be around her and because he’s so unstable mentally financially spiritually all the lly’s I’m not stressing unnecessarily because he’s around and able to raise my lo in an awesome loving and stable environment. Btw aside from the passport stuff last year he last showed up and showed interest was her 1st bday when he showed up unannounced bringing her a turtle for me to take care of 🙄 (and he bought it off the street)

I’ll be more comfortable letting her around him when she can fully talk and express herself. Until then it’s fine like it is.

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