Should husbands be allowed to stay on maternity wards??

Fathers arent allowed all times except the labour ward? Or at least my NHS trust doesn't allow fathers to stay all hours. Visiting times were 8-8 and they were strict with it. We were also only 4 beds per bay per ward. However, I think partners should be allowed to stay. It's their baby too. Especially if mums had a c section, saves her relying on midwives when her partner can do stuff she can't and get the experience from the get go

My partner left as we didn't know he was allowed to stay and it was awful. He didn't want to leave me or his newborn baby and I really could've done with his support through the night. I barely noticed the other families while I was there, I was focused on my baby.

Mine wasn’t allowed either 🤷‍♀️ visitors including partners were 9am-7pm I believe

I've worked in 3 different trusts and have never known dads be allowed to stay on the ward after delivery unless the mum is in a side room. I think dads should be allowed to stay to support mum (if they're going to) but I understand why most trusts don't allow it

Fathers weren’t allowed to stay overnight in the hospital I was in. I wished they could have. I didn’t know this going into it so I was taken completely off guard. Luckily the midwives were prompt in assisting me because I was post c-section but even so, for a first time mum being left alone like that is so intimidating. Also I don’t think the noise from men would bother me considering the babies cried all night long anyway.

For the nhs maternity unit I had gone to it is their policy that the father can stay. I have had two babies so far, and I just feel so uncomfortable on a ward shared with other men. I also found on both occasions that I stayed in the maternity unit, the father's were not quiet, not considerate at all. We have to take into account that it's not fair on mums that have just given birth and want a peaceful time with their newborn babies. Especially those (like me) who had to stay on the ward for 4 days. You don't get no sleep, everyone doesn't stop talking, laughing waking your baby up in the process. It's rough.

I agree that dads should be allowed to stay BUT ideally there should be individual cubicles or they should be respectful and discreet unfortunately many men don't realise this. There should be a zero tolerance policy

It's not the mens fault that the NHS is so stretched that all you get is a thin curtain of privacy. There should be rooms as standard imho. If we say men can't stay to support the birthing woman on the Mat ward it sets the president that they are not as responsible as a parent from the off and I think that's wrong.

In the uk husbands have to go home at night they cannot stay xx

My husband wasn’t allowed to stay with our first but he was advised he was allowed to stay with our second but he had to get home to look after our first. Both babies born in Watford General and 2 years apart so maybe these rules continuously change or depends on the head matron?

Fathers should definitely be allowed to stay there. My husband stayed with me and it was really helpful and nice to have him there. Waiting for the midwife to come pick up your crying baby because you’re recovering from a C-section is not ideal! Having the father there means he can pick the baby up and hand them to the mum, and so much more

@Jade nope. In Coventry, they’re allowed to stay 24/7

I’m in the United States and the husband can stay in labor and delivery with you and postpartum unit. Usually the husband can stay over night and the rooms have beds that pull out to make a bed.

@Mou Yes I agree there should be separate wards or rooms. But yes it is the fathers faults for not being respectful or considerate of the other women on the ward. In other places in Europe men are not allowed on the wards after a certain time of night, and it works well.

I had very bad anxiety throughout my second pregnancy, especially in the night. I almost had to stay the night with my second born and my Mum would’ve stayed with me as my husband and I have an older child that he would have stayed home with. If this baby was our first I would’ve been mortified not being able to have anyone stay with me, that would’ve caused a lot more stress for everyone in that room than if my husband was there as I’d be panicking. It’s not a men issue, it’s just a rude people issue as I went to triage and there was two women in the cubicle beside me being very loud and spraying heaps of perfume.

Just because some fathers aren't respectful doesn't mean they all are. When I gave birth last time it was a mum who watched Corrie on her phone loud af for all to hear...

My first birth my husband stayed the full time and we had a private room which was amazing. I’ve been referred to the higher risk hospital this time and I am genuinely panicked about him having to leave after my c section

I gave birth during the first UK lockdown in 2020, and my husband wasn't allowed to stay or even visit. I was taking down to my own room on the ward, due to complications, 5 hours after giving birth and my husband was told at the door to the ward that he had to leave and could collect us from reception in 2 days time when we had been discharged. It was an awful feeling being completely on my own. I would have loved for my husband to have been able to stay. I barely slept those 2 days, I feel having my husband there would have 100% offered me more support and reassurance and more chance to rest

My partner was allowed to stay and I'm so happy that he was, we're a team and I needed him

@Mou annoying yes but I'm sure it's not as bad as having a strange man less than 2 feet away whilst you are trying to pick up a newborn whilst you are bleeding and getting your boobs out every 20mins

My ward the fathers had to leave unless you had a room - but on the ward it was the mothers making a racket on the phone etc at all hours!

@Samantha and being sexually assaulted, women that have traumatic experiences don't want to be exposed like that to strangers.

Every trust is different, not all hospitals are equal sadly. My husband stayed 24/7 for 3 days; we had privacy, it was a nice quiet and relaxing ward for recovery, dads could spend time with their baby and help their partners. When my friend gave birth however, her buzzer was broken and she was left without basic care. Without her husband there she didn’t even get given water. Two very different experiences in different hospitals, same city.

In hindsight I don’t think they should be allowed on wards. They weren’t allowed to stay overnight at my hospital. I was really nervous about it before giving birth but in reality the staff on the ward took great care of me and baby, the ward was noisy so I can see how having partners there would have made it unbearable. It also meant my husband had a chance to clear up the mess of my water’s breaking and set up the house, and get a bit of sleep after my first birth and after the second birth it meant he could go home and care for our toddler.

My husband was allowed to stay and I needed him after a traumatic birth and we didn’t get to see our baby properly until hours later in NICU. All partners were where we are (tayside which is Perthshire, UK), we were told fold out chairs are uncomfortable so they recommended going home for proper sleep and coming back but it was entirely up to us to make decision

In the trust I had my little girl at(UK) My partner stayed with me from the beginning (had an induction) right to when me and bubs got discharged. I don’t know what I would have done if he had to go home after bubs arrived. He had to use toilets outside of the ward. Forever grateful that he was allowed to stay through the entire process! X

Controversially I think they should leave at night. I only got one hour of sleep after being in labour since 3am the day before and then having surgery on my stubborn placenta. I was kept awake by the men snoring the whole ward down. It was the worst night sleep of my life. Women need rest and it should be visitor free overnight. Nothing against men staying in the hospital in a spare room or something but it was just so disruptive being in the ward. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and ended up leaving at 1am the next day just to get some peace and quiet

In the UK it all depends on hospital policy, my partner could stay the whole time (both births) and we had a room to ourselves. It really made all the difference for us, it was special

I delivered both times at Sunderland Hospital. We have our own rooms. So there’s no intrusion on others. And I needed my husband there both times due to csections. And just for company!! I appreciate it can be awkward on an open ward, especially when people aren’t mindful of the surroundings I.e. recovering mothers and new born babies. But everyone is different. My sister had her baby in Oldham. Her husband stayed for first baby but not second baby. And both times she complained about the lack of consideration from others on the ward.

Should be allowed to stay but be respectful that other people are also there.

@Jade in Nottingham city hospital your birth partner is allowed to stay/ come and go as they please

@Char I was kept awake by the women doing video calls and introducing their baby’s all night! The men weren’t a problem 😂 I had to have surgery for my placenta too 🤦🏼‍♀️

Mine stayed with me twice (uk) after csections I absolutely needed him, everyone had their partner and it definitely wasn't the men being noisy, it was the babies, the staff, the other mothers

In my local hospital, dads are allowed to stay to help but not to sleep. Day or night, if they’re sleeping in the chair they are woken up and sent home. I was luckily discharged 6 hours after both my births and was able to stay in the delivery suite with my husband whilst we waited to go home, so I have no idea what the maternity ward is like but I just couldn’t imagine being stuck in there with all these people I didn’t know let alone their partners too 🫣

My husband stayed with me and thank god he did, in those early days I needed him more then ever, we had to fight to get our baby seen by a doctor which ended in a SCBU/NICU stay on day 5. We paid for a private room but if I was on a bay he would have been able to stay and rightly so imo, it’s his baby too and we needed him. It’s not just men who are loud on wards- I ended up in another hospital at 29 weeks pregnant due to pre term labour, and some of the women were on their phones talking all through the night, playing music etc.

@Char Exactly what I'm saying, what should be an intimate peaceful time, becomes a zoo. Surrounded by complete strangers all in their own bubble not being considerate to other patients. I was constantly woken up by most people on the ward, my baby was woken up (for stupid reasons, I.e having a joke bringing McDonald's at 2am, having an argument, swearing, stinking of drugs).... I've had to experience this twice on the wards due to complications, and if I could afford 10k I would opt to go private for this baby coming to have a private birth. You're so vulnerable in those moments.

I have given birth twice (before and after Covid two different hospitals) both times dad wasn’t allowed to stay on the ward overnight. They could stay in the induction ward but not on the ward pre or post natal. They could visit all day from 8am to 9pm but that’s it.

I had 2 babies during covid, different rules and regs in 2 hospitals and although with my first all I wanted was him to be there immediately after baby was born. Having him well rested and coming back to give me needed rest was far more appreciated in hindsight. My second he wasn't with me at all as he needed to look after our eldest and I loved it. However I do think for long stays over 24 hours women should have their own rooms. Being woken up by 3 other women and their babies was hell

They should stay. They give big help. I didn’t mind have other men around and to be fair no one bothered me. They were very mindful. Where I give birth they could stay overnight.

My husband was allowed to stay with us. I’m so thankfully he could as I had the most horrific labour and contracted sepsis I was really unwell. If he hadn’t have been allowed to stay I have no idea how I would have coped nothing against the midwives but they just left me to it which is pretty crazy considering I was completely out of it. He did everything for us. All the husbands / partners were very respectful on our ward we never had any problems. In fact I found the women visitors the worst!

I agree it was odd having people in the same room where all that is seperating you is a thin curtain... it made me uncomfortable to even talk because I obviously don't want to mention things I don't want strangers hearing. But it had nothing to do with men being there, just people in the same room in general, I wanted my own space

My mum was my birthing partner and was able to stay with me for 5 days after my c section.. they need to be there. I NEVER would of coped alone, my child was in the NICU the first night and a light machine the following night and the other nights I spent crying because I was in pain didn’t know what to do with my new born baby and was petrified. All birthing partners need to be there.

i was in a private room and there was a cot for my boyfriend to sleep on and i only stayed 2 nights but i am grateful they allow it as i would have wanted him there with me especially if i was staying longer… i’m from the US

I had a private room, Hubby stayed one night and my sisters took turns staying the others….what woke me up at night was the constant buzzing/beeping throughout the halls not other people…and my room was a zoo w the fam and friends that did visit but most left after 8pm and I had my own room

This isn’t true for every hospital. In ours husbands/partners are only allowed to visit during specific hours and aren’t allowed to sleep over. I found this quite challenging having had an emergency c section!

Of course they should be allowed to stay, just with a quiet policy in place during nighttime hours

Did you complain about the noise or ask to be in a private area? Midwives are trained and equipped to accommodate women who feel uncomfortable by the presence of men, or if noise levels are too high past bed time.

Wow this is crazy to me! I didn’t realise 8 beds and partners staying over. This sounds like actual torture for everyone involved. Hard thing is, I would want my partner there HOWEVER it sounds like absolutely chaos for the poor babies and women who really need rest.

I'd of been lost without my husband. The first few days he was the one bringing baby to me because I had an emergency c section and could barely hold my baby for a long time due to pain. Without him the nurses would have ended up doing a lot more which non of them had time for. I was in a shared ward which had 5 beds.

My husband had to book a time slot to come and see me and our daughter due to covid. I actually don't think the partners staying is an issue, as you don't get much sleep even if there's just 2 of on the ward, all the hospital noises etc