You’re not alone, mama. So many moms go through it. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and it’s not your fault. 💕 Do you have a friend or family who you could share these feelings with and ask for more immediate and in-person support?? I also recommend having a therapist if you can, whether it’s PPD/PPA or just a shitty week, we all need someone we can reflect with who isn’t biased or tied into our social circles. The one thing I can say that has really helped me is taking most days to relax with my baby. He’s 4 weeks now, and I stay shirtless with a bra, do skin to skin and keep him on me in a baby wrap, and I don’t do much of anything all day besides cuddle, feed, sleep when he’s napping, etc. Slowing down is critical for these first few months, maybe that would help a bit. Your only focus is you and babe if possible! The other thing is, if you can have someone come over and take over time with baby for a few hours and a few feedings, you might be able to breathe.
I can’t share feedings yet as I exclusively breastfeed but if you have bottles or pump at all, get someone to stay with babe and take some time for you. Just some ideas, I hope they’re helpful. You will get through this and you are a great mama, take it minute by minute and be gentle on yourself. 💕
All I can offer is the annoying saying. It gets better. My baby is turning 2 this month🥹. I never thought I'd get here. I was where you were. We exclusively breastfed for a year. I was so so depressed and had the most crippling anxiety. I had to start taking it hour by hour, then day by day. The hours are so long. But the days are so so short. If you have any support, take a bath, sit in a quiet ass area with absolutely zero noise. If you are overwhelmed, it's perfectly okay to put your sweet baby somewhere safe and take 5 minutes to do some deep breathes. You're in it now, but it's not forever🩷