i don’t know what to do

i’m a first time mom 3 months pp now but when i was 5 months pregnant my 14 y old sister died suddenly and tragically. my whole rest of my pregnancy i felt disconnected from everything even my baby. i love him and wanted him to be okay, so i didn’t do what i needed to grieve i was told if i cried id be affecting him. i planned her funeral and have been the one to handle alot of the stuff. I’ve been depressed since then and once i had my baby it took a couple days for me to feel bonded and connect with him, essentially my only will to live is him. his father and my fiancé completely changed after this loss too, but he was less supportive right after the funeral and i found out before i gave birth he was cheating on me. then 3-4 weeks postpartum found out he was doing it again. i stayed for my son but idk what to do to move on and feel okay. i feel like a single mom most the time with no help and no support while it’s only been 8 months since losing my bestfriend. i’m not sure if this is postpartum depression or just i’m having a hard time.
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Oh my goodness you been through a lot, please try take some time out to yourself. Is your fiance still your fiance? I can tell you I cried a lot during my pregnancy, cry now and try to process everything, I'm so sorry to hear about your sister! I'd say it's a combination of depression and ppd but I'm no doctor and it's completely valid the way you are feeling ❤️ sending hugs x

During my pregnancy, I cried a lot. I was halfway through my pregnancy when covid started and I was in a home where I wasn't welcomed. I cried because bottling those emotions did more harm to me and my baby than good. I went through ppd and have depressive episodes regularly. Please grieve in whatever way that's healthy for you. There are times when I cry with my daughter and we both got through it. Maybe light a candle for your sister and listen to music or watch a sad movie that you know will bring tears. Grieving is a normal and natural process. You're not alone 🩵💜

I understand how you feel. I lost my boyfriend 3 months pp and never had the time to properly grieve because of baby. Honestly it’s hard, its not just pp depression. Try speaking to a therapist or psychiatrist

@Mary i’m so sorry for your loss. i hope you get the time and space you deserve to grieve him🤍

@Moriah thank youu🤍 i’m sorry to hear of your experience. it’s so hard😭

@Rochelle yes he is but i feel recently we have slipped into “roommates” phase and it’s not 50/50 with parenting or household responsibilities. it’s all on me to take care of not only myself and baby but him as well as our pets. asking for help is like pulling teeth and when i bring up my concerns im made to feel crazy or like im asking too much. i’ve definitely cried but im made to feel bad about it especially during pregnancy. do i bring up my concerns with depression to my family doctor or OBGYN? i’m not sure who to go to

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