Am I wrong?
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I think that’s really what I’m trying to get at to be honest. It’s so tiring being that person too , her partner is abusive and a bully, sometimes it’s been physical too she’s fully aware of how abusive he is because when she finally decided to call it quits she always sits there and tells me he’s so abusive if she was in denial about how he treats her then you could say it’s because he manipulates her but she knows, all while this verbal abuse happens infront of their child and I find that really really hard to understand how you can just let that happen and continue to keep that person around in that way. And then running towards other people who have treated her in a vile way in the past….. it makes no sense to me🥴
I had to say goodbye to a friend of mine. 10 years as well. She kept staying in an abusive relationship and after I had my son I emotionally couldn’t provide for her and she kept going back and I told her as long as he’s around she won’t be around my son. She took it really hard and chose him over our friendship. I wish I could have done more for her. I wish I did it differently but he was so abusive and I couldn’t put my son in a position to witness that. I helped her where I could and I miss her everyday. But my son comes first.
@Kayla it’sr really hard isn’t it. She’s my closest friend and I love her dearly but I can’t think of why she keeps going back. He’s the father of her child but she doesn’t have to have him around in that way, he’s been physical infront of her too… she offered to look after my little boy when I return to work but I wouldn’t risk him being around this man because he’s so horrible. When she’s ’done’ with him she understands why I wouldn’t want my son around him but if I were to say to her now I don’t want him around him she wouldn’t understand.
It is. It’s completely understandable. Your friend is in a difficult situation and the abuse won’t stop. And until she realizes that she won’t leave him alone. It’s hard leaving the father of your child. I’ve done it. For the exact reasons. Just let her know that hey I can’t have my child around this. I love you. I always will. Until you are strong enough to leave i cannot associate with this.
I think she’s just desperate for that ‘family’ dynamic and will put up with whatever even though she had said several times she’s knows what he does. Thank you for sharing your experience it can’t be easy
Aren’t we all? It was the hardest decision hands down. I’m doing great mentally though. Even though his father isn’t in the picture he is happy healthy and overall the best kid ever. I have my days as all of us do. She just needs to lean on her village. She needs a safe place she can go. And a good lawyer.
He isn’t on the birth certificate anyway so that’s a bonus. Yeah i definitely agree we all crave that family I suppose I am just struggling to understand why she would want to repeat trauma for her child. X
It sounds like a really difficult situation. Maybe set some boundaries but maintain some sort of friendship, one that you feel comfortable in and that you’re not the person she runs to every time something terrible happens.