Hire a private midwife for your hospital delivery

I didn’t even think or really know about this🤣 all the medical professionals around me sucked, they were really unfriendly and rough and my partner had to keep reminding them to do things so not a bad shout!

They won’t be able to practice within the hospital as they aren’t contracted and insured by the NHS, they could attend in a supportive capacity but that’s it, they won’t be able to be there in a clinical role. I will point out though, that people are always quick to share ‘horror stories’… not just in relation to maternity but everything in life… but many, many women also have a positive experience. You can always request a different midwife, or ask them to clarify what they’re saying/offering and why, to inform your understanding and help you make decisions about your care

Not me personally but one of my friends did for her birth last year as the local hospitals near here had ‘inadequate’ CQC standards and she didn’t want to risk it. It was actually a private midwife for a home birth. If I had the finances I would definitely go as private as you can. My birth story was largely positive but another close friend of mine had a whole different story, seems like a postcode lottery with some hospitals at the moment unfortunately 😔

Like Clare said, you can definitely hire one but they would only be able to be there as a ‘friend’ and wouldn’t be able to practice, deliver baby, and their medical advice wouldn’t be listened to. In fact, if she kept offering medical advice and the hospital midwives/nurses/doctors weren’t happy, they can actually then have her removed. It would be a waste of money in my opinion. I had an amazing experience in birth, however, with the recent findings from the CQC I would definitely give birth either in a private hospital or a private midwife at home for my next birth! So maybe look in to that instead ? X

Thanks ladies ! I’m well aware of the e fact that private midwives lose their clinical capacities from The moment they step into the hospital, but they still are trained and can support and advice mom if the NHS midwife decides to push towards solutions that are more in favour of ticking boxes, rather than mom’s best options. Ditto im not talking about serious and life threatening situations! I’m just keeping my options open, I’m very happy some of you had great birth experiences but everyone’s birth experience is different!if you know of any great private midwife in south east london please would to share them with me? Xx

@Cass so sorry you had to go through this!! I empathise greatly with your experience. A friend of mine was literally about to pop the baby out, no midwife in site, this was Lewisham hospital london, she literally had to shout from the corridor of the birth centre “I’m giving birth to my baby now!” She positioned on all fours and magically the midwife’s appeared ..

I’m consultant led again so the care I get is generally really good. I would just learn as much as you can about birth and get your partner to do the same so when you can no longer express what you want he’ll be able to for you. Mine was fantastic at getting involved and questioning things especially when they mentioned c-section as he knew how against this i was so advocated for me not having one. You can always get a second opinion or different staff so I wouldn’t personally waste the money on one

@Agata what happened to your friend reminds me the delivery of my first son. I was in pre labour ward ( St. Mary's Hospital ) with nobody to check on me and I ended up dropping my baby on the floor of the bathroom. Placenta got ripped and I had to have it surgically removed. Baby luckily didn't suffer consequences, but for me the recovery from surgery was slow and painful. It could have been the perfect delivery, so natural and almost effortless, but because of the careless of the staff I went through such a traumatising experience. This time my hospital will be Lewisham hospital so you can imagine my concern after hearing your story. However, I attended a online presentation of Lewisham facilities and my preferences this time went toward the birth centre, located in same building, where apparently one midwife will only be attending you, according to what they said. Finger crossed everything will be fine this time!

@@Flaviaomg Flavia 🤦‍♀️so sorry I don’t mean to stress you , please do talk to the team and let them know about your first awful experience, they must make sure to take care of you!!! It’s disgusting that a mom has to got through this!!!

@Kirsten thanks Kirsten, happy to hear io had such a smooth experience 🙏

Never hired anyone and I wouldn't... I've had 4 births already... I haven't done but if you wanted or needed to you could request a different staff. Your birth partners job is to help and advocate for you. Ensure your birth partner knows your plan and what you want or don't want. I've had qualified staff and students in the room.. mix of experiences... First experience was probably the worse, placenta got stuck and my baby was snatched from me and they pulled the cord and pushed on my stomach... I couldn't move independently for hours... Second, I nearly had on a toilet lol 😆 thank God for emergency cords in bathrooms... Third, pool birth. Amazing experience but he did get stuck... moved my leg and he fell out 😆 Fourth, biggest issue was not being able to get comfortable. Had paracetamol and Dihydrocodeine with them all, worst damage 2 grazes... sizes ranged from 7lbs 3oz (37 weeker) to 8lbs 13½oz (41 weeker).

Other than the placenta incident I couldn't fault staff at all with any of my labours. Pregnancy however is a different story especially with the experience with my 4th but never had those issues with my others at all. If you want help/advise advocating for yourself then I'd recommend looking at Birthrights.org.uk - they can be contacted and can get involved if you need help advocating for yourself xx

Thank you @Billie awww how beautiful 4 kids !! Plus one on the way! Congrats!What a blessing! Glad you never felt the need of extra support! After speaking with many moms it feels like outside of london you almost get more care and attention.. I’m still keen on looking for a private midwife but thanks for sharing your experience with me 🙏

@Agata you have to do what's best for you regardless of others but I just thought I'd try and give you some reassurance that even with different births they weren't all the same. I actually grew up in a London Borough... me and my siblings were born and raised around different parts of Essex 😅 I had my first born in Romford. The others I've had in Cambridge xx

I’m full of admiration for you, reading about how brave and natural you are, and have been. I only wish I had someone like you by my side 🙏

If your looking for someone to be there in more of a supportive / advocacy type role than a doula might be what you're looking for x

@Sam actually, they can be there with you during the hospital birth, build a rapport with the NHS midwife, and as they’re midwives themselves they have the clinical experience to provide you advice and also advocate for yourself.. although they lose the clinical “power” when on site… see my problem is that I’m not too sure if I trust the NHS system , especially after hearing some crazy story of neglect of moms about to deliver .. no doubt that’s not the norm and hundreds of women have wonderful birth experiences..

@Alana thanks . My understanding is that Doulas are wonderful but not trained midwives and don’t fully understand what’s going on clinically … for support I have my wonderful husband 🙏 did you hire a doula yourself?

@Agata no , I've never had one! I just read a lot about them and how they advocate for people. I would have thought a private midwife would be more for if you were going in a private birthing suite or home birth type scenario. Xx

@Sam thanks Sam, I’ll check with the midwives at the hospital when I see them next, maybe they can recommend someone ! Do you work with many private midwives for hospital birth? If so, What’s your experience? Do you work well with them?

That’s Interesting! Thanks for sharing

@Sam also an NHS midwife and also never had a private or independent midwife in the hospital for any birth. Also, I get what you’re saying about clinical care and experience, building rapport. But the vast majority of independent midwives won’t even be able to give clinical input during intrapartum care because they won’t have awareness of guidelines, won’t have that depth of clinical experience in a ‘high risk’ environment (high risk doesn’t necessarily mean an emergency, just to clarify. An induction of labour falls under that umbrella term) because they predominantly care for women having a home birth and would transfer them into hospital with any clinical concerns or requests by the woman for pain relief options they can’t provide at home. Your birth partner or a doula is able to support and advocate for you. I feel like you’d be spending a lot of money on a private midwife who can’t fulfil what you’re asking of them in this situation.

@Clare thank you for your input, I would have never considered to hire a private / independent midwife to support me during the actual birth if I haven’t read and heard about some seriously terrifying stories of women who’ve been neglected by the same NHS midwives that supposedly should be there to do their job, and support the mother (of course and the baby). I am sure you’re not one of those terrible midwives but the truth is that we can’t pretend this is not happening, and it’s frankly terrifying, especially from a first-time mum perspective. Doulas are wonderful too but their not trained midwife and dont have the clinical understanding of what’s happening. Also , majority of these independent mid wives have been working for years for the NHS, are well versed in emergencies and of course, even though they lose their clinical power once in the hospital, they are aware of what’s happening and can advice mom on what’s best for her and baby, always working alongside the NHS system.

Even today I was out shopping and the lady at the till complimented me for the pregnancy and she said: “is this your first? Then get ready to make a scene in the hospital because there’s a high chance you won’t be taken care of properly”! I’m not sure if it’s a London thing , maybe where you’re based mums are better looked after, I don’t know. I’m speaking from a place of concern as I’m reading and hearing a lot of negative stuff, just hoping for some reassurance and also to see if other mums hired privately an independent midwife for their birth

@Agata the thing is, you’re always going to hear terrible stories. And yes, they are, and if preventable should have been. We’re a culture who’s more likely to complain than voice appreciation sadly. I do birth reflections where women’s experiences may have been less than favourable and it’s largely down to poor communication from (most often) a very few number of midwives. My concern with what you’re saying is that you’re expecting an independent midwife to work alongside the NHS - they can’t. They can’t have any influence in clinical care and decisions, that does need to come from you otherwise they aren’t doing their job and can be asked to leave. I honestly feel that from what you’re saying, your wish is to have someone to support you more than anything, which is why you have birth partner(s). Have you looked at the BRAINS acronym? It might be useful to consider, that way you and your birth partner can look at prior to going in to labour. Cont..

You can ask for a new midwife if you don’t gel with yours, or you feel things aren’t being explained enough to enable your own understanding in terms of risks/benefits. Can honestly say that I’ve never met a midwife who heads into their shift thinking “I’m aiming to make someone have an awful experience today”, it doesn’t happen. But it is an unpredictable business. You can air your anxieties before anything happens and ask to have any clinical tasks/concerns/interventions explained in full before making any decisions - nobody will judge you for that… it’s our job to do that anyway. Would it help to contact the maternity unit you plan to have your baby and ask for a tour? To meet some of the midwives and build a rapport in advance and ask for them to care for you on the day if possible? Not sure what the horror stories have been to terrify you, but independent midwives cannot involve themselves within the hospital setting with anything clinical, can only there as a birth partner.

It is your decision though. Personally, wouldn’t have an issue with an independent midwife being present. I’ve looked after relatives of midwives, with the midwife being present as a birth partner but that is all they are. Nothing more. Although I would say that I wouldn’t think twice about asking an independent midwife to leave if I felt they were being unsafe because it’s not the realm of work they’re used to working within. Would definitely consider all options, would hate for you to feel financially stung by paying for a service that doesn’t meet your expectations.

Thank you Clare, I appreciate your response and care , it’s actually a good idea to book a tour and vent out my concerns to the midwives on site). Let’s See if that helps me gain a back some trust And confidence !

It’s probably worth a shot before making that financial commitment - hopefully you find it a positive experience 😊

I hope so too. Yes, the financial commitment is certainly not inconspicuous, we’ve saved for years to build a baby budget, people spend silly crazy money for weddings however,so I don’t see why not investing in your birth (if needed), as it’s as important and memorable. Thanks again for your help xx

I’ve done the same as I’m in the same boat. I’ve hired a doula/maternity nurse to support me from now until whenever post partum. Defo go for it if you can-I feel a huge relief knowing I’ve got her to ask for advice and advocate for me. This is my third pregnancy but this time I’m a single parent. X

@Adele thank you for this x