Partner stressing me out with his addictions

My partner is addicted to kratom and constantly using my credit card to pay for it even though I’ve expressed I want him to stop. He is an addict and I don’t know what to do. I paid $200 a session for him to see an addiction counselor who prescribed medication to help with coming clean and it worked but then we went to his best friends wedding and while we were there and relapsed and ever since he’s been using it again. He says it helps with his anxiety and makes him feel human but it’s pissing me off. He also vapes and I’ve asked him to quit that because I had to quit when I became pregnant and I’ve realized how much better I feel without it and I know he would feel the same but he says that’s something he likely will never quit. It’s infuriating watching him use kratom and vape and drink when I’m trying to live a cleaner life being I’m breast feeding. I don’t know I’m just mad and sad and I feel like the bad guy when I bring up how I want him to change or stop when I know I’m not wrong for my feelings. It’s infuriating because I’m the one that financially supports our life, I pay rent, utilities, most all of our meals, luxury items like clothes and activities. I don’t know what to do because I know people around me already judge our relationship because we knew each other only 3 months before getting pregnant. I don’t want to admit that the guy I picked is a bum but man does he make it hard. I think more than anything I just needed to rant but I’m also so unsure what to do.

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Sounds like you do know what you need to do sis. It’s hard but if he doesn’t want a better life for himself you can’t let that hold you back from a better life for you and your baby. He should be way more grateful. You are paying his way in just about everything, he needs to clean up or GTFO. It does such to admit the guy you picked is a bum, but it’s hard to know that at 3 months in… but it looks like he has shown his true colors. If you want more for you and your babe… I would leave. Not saying it’s easy, but it sounds like what you are doing now is pretty damn hard too.

It sounds like you at least subconsciously know what you need to do, but you’re fighting the reality of it. I’m an addict who’s been in recovery since 2017. I had to lose everything, almost my life, before I was able to get clean. What you do for him out of a desire to keep your family unit together is actually enabling him in his addiction, and that is a sad and hard truth to swallow, I know. Your best shot at helping him is cutting him off in every way until he is ready to seek help on his own. It won’t be easy, but it’s the best thing you can do to protect yourself, your baby, and hopefully help him in the long run. Addiction is a nasty disease, and it can make even the best people choose to do the worst things. I sincerely hope he finds his way to sobriety and everything works out for you. Hang in there.

I’m in the same situation and I have no idea what to do either… my man can’t hold a job down and depends on me to pay everything knowing that I have a savings. Our money is getting low though and i try to tell him we will eventually have nothing left but nothing gets through it seems. I love him and scared to leave him but i need to do what’s best for me and my baby at the end if the day. I just need the courage to do it. …

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