I want my baby daddy back

Just tell him you want him home lol, that’s the only thing you can do. Apologize if you want but he doesn’t seem the greatest just from what you’ve written. Good luck!

@Shanice Antoine I tried that. He has severe ocd and ptsd from the navy. And honestly when things don't go his way he looks at it as contamination form of OCD. I told him to come home several times he says he knows we will just keep going through the same patterns

@Shanice Antoine he isn't the greatest. You're right. I may just be in denial right now idk. I'm a young mom . And it's our first home together. We didn't even get to enjoy it we just moved in

Don’t give him access to your body if he’s not there helping you

@Crystal your right I feel so guilty about it after. I'm really going to end the cycle if that now. Thank you.

Message me if you need advice🫶🏻

He doesn’t want to come home to his family then he doesn’t get the perks of being a family. Stop sleeping with him. I guarantee he’ll come home real quick.

Honestly we always see things we didn’t see before once we move in with our partner. I think you are in denial, you have no idea how great your life will get if you let go of the energy he has on you. It’s hard and I know that, I understand. The first step is to cut off sex and co parent. Because from what you wrote even when he’s there you seem to do it all.

@Sharny thank you for the honesty

@Alyson thank you for this advice. I'm making these changes today

@Shanice Antoine thank you. It's true I do it all. It's just feels life a slap in the face. I didn't feel helped. Now he left to his mom's and still no help. Idk why I expect things to be different

Before he comes back, I think it would be a good idea to have a plan. The same way he has solid boundaries, I feel it would be a good idea to establish your own. Take this time apart to learn what your needs are. Write them down and prioritize them. When you feel clear headed, invite him over for a talk and be clear about your needs so you both can determine a household structure that supports your own anxiety as well as his.

@Chrissy thank you Chrissy this is such a great perspective. I'm going to write things down.

The thing that got me & my bd back together was that we started spending time together more often again. Together & with the kids. We had a couple long, heartfelt conversations where we both apologized for our bad behaviors & everything we did to hurt each other. We realized we still wanted to be together & took it slow & didn’t immediately start living together until we felt our relationship was at a point where we could be around each other without repeating old behaviors. We both genuinely made an effort to be better people, more considerate of each other, more honest, & more kind. If you initiate a conversation maybe where you can both be really honest about how & why things ended & both agree to want to do better going forward, I think that would be a start. I think maybe you should also take a step back for the sex without the relationship. You’re not going to get anywhere when that is the new baseline of your relationship, bc it will be the only thing he expects when he’s w you.

@Crystal agreed honestly it just helps get over the relationship plus the fact he said he doesn’t want to repeat things but goes back for sex is a red flag alone

Plus if your working it makes no sense for that to be the time he meditates you also need your time to do things. Yeah you’re a mom but he’s a dad as well responsibility goes both ways.