Would you stay or leave

My bf and I have a great relationship other than the fact I’m walking on eggshells a lot. We fight when he gets set off one way or another which is when he mentally distresses me with gaslighting and super demeaning hurtful words and tries to mind manipulate me to deflect his wrong doings. It leaves me crying for hours and hours and he just stares at me and walks away while I’m there crying and panicking. This happens on average maybe once every two weeks and sometimes results in extended fights for a day or two after. We’ve tried couples therapy but it would set him off and trigger these fights. He’s doing individual therapy now. I try ignoring him and walking away or hanging up on him when he gets aggressive and escalates like this but then he just waits til I come back to get mad at me and call me childish for not being able to handle difficult conversations. We are having our first baby together in one month. Leaving is easier said than done so please give me your opinion as if you were in my shoes. 🙏

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I'm gonna be honest, it's probably going to get worse once baby is here. All I see is even more egg shells you're walking on and him having no patience when the baby is here. Also, to add. When you have your baby, you are going to feel the most intense love in the world, your motherly instincts will kick in, and if you can't leave now for yourself, I promise you will leave for your child.

Omg ♥️♥️ thank you for this

Feel free to DM me if you’d like to chat about options x

I would think about whether you want your child to grow up thinking that’s what love is supposed to look like. Our children see and hear a lot more than we think and in their formative years will be absorbing it all like a sponge. I agree with the above, your mothering instinct will help you to make a decision

Your first sentence is an oxymoron. You cannot have a great relationship if you’re walking on eggshells. This sounds like such a harmful situation. You should absolutely leave, for both yourself and your baby. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

I would rethink your first statement “we have a great relationship.” Because everything you say afterward shows otherwise. A baby doesn’t fix anything. If you have a lot of problems now, they will just increase when a baby arrives. Also think about if this is the type of home and family you want for your baby. If you can’t leave for yourself, leave for the wellbeing of your child.

This only gets worse. You don’t “have a great relationship”, you have a toxic one when you have to walk on eggshells in any capacity! Gaslighting is an abusive behavior and form of coercive control. No one who loves you should treat you like this. One thing I learned after leaving a VERY TOXIC abusive relationship is that you teach people how to treat you. You have to prioritize your well being even when they won’t. Girl RUN!!!

Once every two weeks is A LOT. Once baby is here you will crave calm and support. Lots of men can't cope with the newborn stage (mine showed me a horrible side to him which shocked me but was short lived thankfully) and if he is that way inclined, a baby is going to set him off loads.

Im going to give you some tough advice you probably don’t want to hear, Don’t expect any help from him once baby is here , don’t expect baby to “change” him. He will expect you to recover quickly . A man will only change if he wants to so if you arnt going to leave him just pray he does change when the baby arrives if he doesn’t after the first month even I would leave.

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