You know that feeling as a parent that your just not good enough 😕

Now imagine feeling that your best isn't good enough and being told its not too. This is really sad. My daughter told me out of nowhere three times the past few weeks basically that I am not good enough. She said I could be a better mom. She said I should do better. She said if I were you I would do this or do that, said that she would spend equal time with her kids and that I don't show I love her enough. I told her I am sorry and I asked her what I can do better. Tried to explain to her that I am not well physically and I have a lot on my shoulders but that I always try my best every day for my kids. I don't really know what I can do better.. My little one needs constant attention just about. As a baby obviously. I'm lucky if I get a shower. Lately I've been feeling ill, on top of the normal stresses of being an adult single mom trying to do everything at once. I don't know what I can do to be better and it just makes me sad. I told her it will all be better in future we are just having a hard time right now and she said no YOU are not me. (Preteen) so yeah.. I cried about it the first two times. Now I'm kind of numb, I feel defeated. There's no dad. There's no grandparents. There's no friends. No break ever. Just me in pretty much constant pain, trying to hide it. With a baby and a preteen. I am depressed. I don't have a solution and I wish I did

Show your support

Preteens are like baby snakes, they haven't learned to control their venom. This is so hard because she doesn't mean this and will forget she ever said it, but it plays right into some of your deepest insecurities. Ironically, (this part is also hard to hear) she probably picked up this idea that you are not doing enough as a parent by watching & hearing you worry about it. (Something good parents do!) You are doing enough. You are doing the right things. Your daughter will see it in time... just not right now. You were correct when you said "we" are having a hard time. She is too. And you will get through it together. You always do. ❤️

I’m so sorry 😔 your daughter sounds like a typical hormonal teenager, so mean and only thinking of themselves😢 I have no advice just giving you air hugs 🫂 plus you did the right thing to ask her what you can do better, shame she’s not forthcoming.

She absolutely is having a hard time, and if it's any consolation, you've obviously done some great parenting for her to able to verbalise and articulate what she needs. She's not lashing out or screaming or the usual, she's just calmly telling you what she feels she needs. From a completely self interested perspective of course, but it's still good she can say that to you. And good she feels safe to say that to you. It isn't always possible to meet all our kids needs, especially when you have two kids. That's a fact of life. Try to carve out little bits of time for her if you can, maybe when baby is sleeping?

My son can’t yet speak, so I can’t speak to this from a mom perspective. But as a former teenage daughter, I usually lashed out at my mom when I was hurting for other reasons… I’m really sorry she said what she said, and I hope that someday she apologizes for it (I know I have 🖤).

I can't imagine how hard that was to hear but in a way it's a good thing! She was able to tell you how she's feeling and give you the chance to work on it. You haven't been feeling well or physically able to do much. Could you plan a one-on-one movie night possibly after the others go to bed? Just something to show her you hear what she said

You sound very overwhelmed and are obviously doing the best you can. But it sounds like your daughter is also struggling, probably with having much less attention from you due to her baby sibling plus going through typical preteen stuff. Maybe she needs a few minutes of your undivided attention each day to chat, or maybe she’d love a movie or game night with you after the baby is asleep. That said, you’re doing something right if she feels safe to share her feelings with you! From a preteen on, I never shared my feelings with my mom because she would make fun of me or I might even get in trouble for sharing negative emotions (if she even bothered to listen to me in the first place). It sounds like she really just misses her mom and wants to spend more time with you ❤️

@Bonny thank you that makes me wanna cry 🫶

@Asia 🙏 thank you

@Ella yes thank you, I told her I appreciated that she was telling me how she felt. Still yea it was like my very fear come to life and it's devastating 💔 All I want to do is be a good mom to my kids so that was a big ouch I think she needs my undivided attention more often 🤔 I'm just not sure where to get it from because so much has been going on lately. I will always try tho

@Rebecca thank you I think having a sibling has changed a lot about how much time she gets with me and I do feel sad about that for her, I know it's not been easy at all. I am going to brainstorm fitting in time soon after I finish organizing this move we are making to a new place. I hope we can just be kind to eachother in the mean time 🤞 lol

It's been rough ladies. And I think I really got lucky that she did speak to me instead of freaking out as some teens would or lashing out in a different way. My heart breaks a little that she feels this way I think it just took me aback to hear it.. I know I need to do better with time management. Where there's a will there's a way right.. 🤞

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌