First day of nursery

Have you done some kind of settling in session? 9mo is quite a difficult age for separation anxiety.

@Simona yeah she done two and cried both times, it’s such a shame

Maybe she needs a bit more time. Do they let you stay with her during the settling in?

@Simona I had the option to but it made her more upset so I left her. I maybe should’ve stayed with her

Hi, my son started nursery when he turned 12 months and he was exactly like your daughter. It took at least a couple of months for him to get properly settled but even now sometimes at drop off, he might give a little cry (he’s now 20 months). When he’s at nursery, he has a great time and enjoys himself! It honestly does get better and I was really worried just like yourself x

I’m not a professional of course but so I can’t say what’s better but what i’ve done with my daughter was a really slow settling in, the first days we were inside together, the first time for something like 30 min, the second maybe an hour. After that we tried leaving her for just few minutes (5/10 min), the day after for 30 minutes, the following day for 1hr. After that we’ve left her for a couple of hours for few weeks. She was fine so we increased to 4 hrs and after 2 months or so she was doing the full day (8-3), napping here in her pram 😱 (at home she could only contact sleep). She started when she was 9/10mo and she was doing 2 or 3 days (can’t remember 🤦🏻‍♀️). That said, she’s always been very sociable and she never experienced the stranger-danger phase. Her bff started when he was around 18mo and was crying the whole time for more than a month, but he managed to settle well in the end. Hopefully she’ll settle well soon. Does she has a transitional object?

We ended up having a month or so of 2x weekly settling sessions. My daughter was 12mo at the time and really high separation anxiety. Things got better once I spent an hour there with her, which they didn’t normally do but we were unsure what else to do at that point! It’s almost like me being there gave it a stamp of mummy approval haha. She absolutely loves it there now and will run in without saying goodbye most of the time! Persevere, it’s worth it - for them as well as us xx

I work in the baby room in a nursery and I completely understand how distressing it can be for everyone - including staff! It's heartbreaking not being able to do anything for a wee one that, at that age, has just discovered that Mum is a different person and that means they can be separated. And understandably for Mum, staff are virtual strangers who are now looking after the most important person in their life. Some children will deal with it better (not very often) but it is more than normal to struggle for a bit. We always recommend starting nursery a few weeks before mat leave ends, or having someone on call, so the child can gradually increase the duration of the sessions, and get used to new routines one at the time (nappy changing, naps or meals are all such special moments with their parents, it can be hard to do them with someone else). If you unfortunately don't have that option, you can only trust that staff will do their absolute best to bond with your child and make their time enjoyable 😊