Conflict at work

I’m really not confrontational, I just do the easy option to keep people happy for an easy life but I’m having some conflict at work and I really don’t know how to handle it. I work for a small family run company that was recently acquired and expanded. We have a colleague who works remotely in a different part of the country and she is being difficult She’s become very passive aggressive, letting me know she has an issue but not addressing it, venting about the whole team (me included) to others that she’s ’sick of us all’ being very short on email replies. I was off on MAT leave until June this year, we have had our issues in the past but I thought this was a fresh start and she has literally been up my backside since I came back until this week when her whole attitude has changed. I’m honestly none the wiser of what I’ve done I brought it up to my boss today (not in a tell tale way btw) and said I don’t appreciate how she is addressing me and the team, but I know he won’t say anything (still in the family run way of things) I don’t really want to escalate it, but I also don’t want to be a massive pushover - I refuse to go back to how it was before I had my baby. What do I do? I feel like she’s being passive aggressive so that if I confront the issue she can deny doing anything wrong. 2 long standing team members have recently left- I don’t think it was solely down to her but I think her relationship with them was certainly a factor I feel stuck. I enjoy my job, and my bosses are good to me. I wfh with my little one 2 days a week and still earn a full time wage, I won’t be able to do that if I look elsewhere without further childcare or going part time and getting a salary cut but I don’t want to be miserable 😭

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I would escalate it. But part of being able to stand up for yourself is to be able to brush off people who don't matter, and setting boundaries about her ranting. I'd tell her I don't want her to rant to me anymore about other people, and let her know nicely when she's being rude. It can be so difficult, but use the distance between you to your advantage.

I really would try and speak to her directly and just ask her if there is something wrong as you are finding her behaviour to be unprofessional. If you can’t bring yourself to do that then I would probably escalate it but make sure you have a good list of examples x

A thing I do when people at work are rude to me or short etc. I ask them if they are ok in a very concerned manner. Majority of time they stop doing it (eventually) If this doesn’t work then yes, address it with her in a friendly manner. I would just say I observed so and so and that she seems to be unhappy and that I would very much like to know what has happened and what is needed for us to have a good relationship. Open the convo I feel you on the work side. Just FYI there’s still places where you can wfh for a couple of days or more. I work for a corporation and still get 2-3 days at home every week (sometimes more)

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