Unpopular opinion?! - Postpartum Depression and postpartum anxiety are terms to put the pressure back on to the mother - its society that are the problem…
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I went through both really bad with my 1st, more PPA than PPD. But it was still bad. With my 2nd, I’m still struggling and it’s been almost 13 moths. My mental health before kids wasn’t great. It wasn’t bad. It was manageable. But since having kids, it’s definitely brought out the light as to how much I struggled to have my needs met by myself or by my husband.
Are you in America? With zero paid maternity leave and zero childcare subsidy, I absolutely understand why you'd feel there's a war on mothers
I’ve never thought about it this way but I think I agree with what you’re saying. Since maternity leave, I’ve been on this rollercoaster ride of emotional highs and lows for various reasons, more lows than anything…and it’s not doing my anxiety any good…on top of the mental load that just comes with being a first time mom. I had a really bad day the other day and ended up bursting into tears while picking my son up from daycare. And although I love the teachers there and they genuinely wanted to help, one of them offered her number to me in case I needed someone to talk to because she said she suffered with ppd also and she understands how I feel. But I’m not depressed!! And I have people I talk to. I’m just overwhelmed.
@Hannah I can completely relate, my girl is almost one and I’ve been sleep deprived for a year. What that’s does to a persons nervous system is not going to support us. We need to be seen and held more. Sending you a big hug ❤️🩹
@Ella no I am in Ireland. But it’s everywhere, especially in the western world 🤷🏼♀️
@Alyssa I totally get it, it can make you feel so unseen to have the label if you’re really just a mother who’s trying to do it all ❤️🩹 For me, I am not depressed. I sleep deprived abs my body is communicating that I need more self care 🤷🏼♀️
I don’t have an issue with those terms. But there is a HUGE lack of education about postpartum for moms which leads them to develop PPA or PPD. Lack of support is definitely one of them. Not knowing or understand how your body heals postpartum and what happens in your body every single month the first year. This education would really help mom better care for themselves and decrease developing those conditions
I kinda agree with you! In some ways I fit into the symptons for PPA & PPD & I have questioned 'am I suffering from these things?' Granted I've never actually been diagnosed or had a direct corrolation to my experiences post partum. I already had GAD & Social Anxiety before I had my firstborn. I have to admit that it took me a good 3 years to feel like myself again. Then I had my 2nd baby a year ago & boom I've found my mind & body craving for some sort of calm. There's so much I feel like we don't know about what happens to our bodies after having a baby. Its almost like after you're through with the pregnant part & holding your baby. That no one really cares anymore🤷🏼♀️ Its very much 'here's your baby now on your bike, as there's another lady about to pop' {mind the pun}. We're just on a human conveyor belt....
@✨Wis 🇭🇹 are there any resources you can guide towards mothers looking to educate themselves on how to learn about how their bodies need healing? Personally for me I am aware of the healing to a certain extent, the need for rest. You’ve just birthed another human❤️ I also believe the education should start in schools, this is not just something women need education on but men too, as they’re supposed to support their woman through this transition.
You basically have to do your research. I’m a doula so I teach postpartum recovery and healing but that’s not common. I agree it should def be taught to both men and women and it’s sad that OBGYNs don’t educate their patients at all. do research on how postpartum healing progresses EACH months postpartum for the first 2 years. Rest is only the beginning. Look into which diet is the best for postpartum recovery (nutrient based) Natural supplements that help healing Looking into how your hormone balancing is progressing until year 2 and how to help that The importance of vitamin D and physical exercise The importance of pelvic floor therapy If you’re breastfeeding, look into how that affects your PP healing. Postpartum.net is also a great resource.
@✨Wis 🇭🇹 thank you for sharing your advice 🙏🏻 And yes I completely agree there’s a lot more to it than rest. I have had a birth and postpartum doula during and after the immediate postpartum and thankfully had someone cook me nutrient dense food. However one year later and unfortunatly I have fallen to the way side so can see how this has an effect. I am going to go do some deep diving after you’ve offered some suggestions, because honestly, I have had zero capacity to even go there lately! It’s just unfortunate the seperate lives we live now. Mothering alone is not how nature intended.
Idk I do have PPA and it doesn't make me feel unseen. I agree that lack of support and sleep deprivation increase your chances of developing ppd/a but you can have a support network and a baby who sttn and you can still develop it. I agree a lot of the work mothers do is invisible but I think that's a separate thing to ppd/a.
@Ella working mothers do develop it but that’s still from a lack of support but from society. Not having better maternity leave is a big issue. Countries where moms have better maternity leave shows that working mothers develop these things way less. There’s so much that contributes to developing these issues. There’s also if there’s a history of mental health ailments as well as medication given during birth as well. It’s so much!
When I explain my feelings to people they ask 'is it postnatal depression?' But I'm sure it's actually just 9 months of severe sleep deprivation that's making me cry xx