@Gabrielle I went to see a pelvic floor specialist at around 12 weeks pp and she gave me a few exercises to do but she did say my pelvic floor tone was quite good. Since doing those exercises I don’t have any stress incontinence anymore (peeing while coughing and sneezing etc) but sadly haven’t noticed any difference in the size of my vaginal opening 😭
Aww I’m really sorry that’s been the case for you! Did she say it looked abnormal at all? I asked my physio if it looked normal and basically asked her to give me a tour of what was now going on down there which really helped me get my head round everything. Performing scar massage helped me as well, I felt sick touching the area at first but now have no issues! I know you said you hate touching it but that could help?
I’ve been having pelvic floor physio after the same birth but with a third degree tear and she said it’s a pelvic floor issue from weak muscles. Might be worth looking at physio before surgery. Doing physio has made the world of difference to me and I’m now 7 months post partum and feel pretty much back to normal! I know how horrible it can be though to feel that everything is different!