Am I the asshole?

Your husband needs to be on side first of all! That’s one of the only way to deal with in laws. I’m no contact with mine x

Yes husband needs to back you up as Courtney has also said. It’s hard to stamp it out. They may not realise how it’s making you feel. Maybe tell them x

I’m sorry 😔 I hate how common it is for women to be disrespected by their in laws-self included. You gotta sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel. Remind him that yall are grown married folk and this baby is YOUR baby, not his parents’ baby. That for you to be the best mom you can be, you need to feel secure and to feel secure he needs to back you up as his wife and the mother to your child. You can ask for advice and they can give their opinion in response but at the end of the end, the woman he decided to marry is the woman he needs to trust to be the mother of his child. And then he needs to sit down and tell his parents they need to respect you. If it keeps on, then yall both need to sit down and set boundaries with them—this is our marriage and our child and our household. This is the family we created and it is to be respected. Respectfully, y’all already raised your son and now it’s his and my turn to raise OURS. Please respect our household and privacy

The tendency for parents in law to want to be in hospital when women give birth is astounding. I don't think it's a thing here in the UK. It just feels like a MASSIVE invasion of privacy and an incredibly special and important day when you're at your most vulnerable. You are absolutely not the asshole!

Unfortunately, people will always give unsolicited advice. If you're having your family around for babies birthday then it's hard to tell the inlaws no but if your not say you want it just you your partner and the baby. My MIL told me how she felt pushed out 3 days after I jad my first born. I had pent over 17 hours in active labor that didn't progress past 6cm and they gave me everything they could. Then I went to theatre and had an emergency section where I haemorrhaged. She said this because my mum and sister were there the first 2 days supporting me. I don't even remember a lot of them being there as I was so out of it. Stick to boundaries and get your partner on board with them.

You are NOT the asshole. First of all, it’s your delivery, you have every right to decide who is and isn’t going to be there. Secondly, it’s YOUR child. You make the decisions on how to raise your children, period. Lastly, your husband should 100% back you up. You are his family now, you two are partners. He should ALWAYS take your side.

You are not the asshole at all! We celebrated my boys first birthday on Wednesday and I told my boyfriend I don’t want anyone else except for us to celebrate his birthday I also just wanted it to be a special time with our little family. No side comments or judgement welcome. Also made this decision because my son is shy and I wanted him to also have the best day possible. You shouldn’t have to explain anything to them, your husband should so just tell him how you feel he should be on your side 🩵

Ask your husband who he wants to be in a relationship with or who he wants to be the mother of his children 🤣 you or her. He needs to stick up for you! End of discussion. You shouldn’t have to put her on her place, he needs to. So take that stress off your shoulders

So quick update. My husband shows understanding of my feeling about his parents. He knows how uncomfortable his parents make me feel he tries to speak to them but struggles to stamp out his feeling because they’re so hard headed.

So, right before we’re about to leave our apartment MIL calls saying she’s on his way over here, after husband had told her that we were going out. We ended up leaving and having such and amazing time.

Fun fact 😅 when we got home he called his parents so they could see the baby and tell them they could come tomorrow. They said they’re not coming, that it had to be today. Like are they fr? Is it me, or they are trying to maybe make my husband feel like he did something wrong putting his own family first

Have a candid conversation with them about it. They raised their kids already, you married one. I wouldn’t pay too much mind to her, but also stand up for yourself and your convictions; just say thanks for your input, but I will do what I think is best for my son. If she doesn’t get the hint, tell her she’s not welcome to participate because your mental health is more important than her input

Absolutely NTA

Just say you want to have 2 celebrations. The one with them does not have to be special

I had a stillbirth and whilst I was giving birth to my dead child, my sil who i hateeee decided to turn up n pretend to care. I went for a walk from the room and the midwives told me she went crying to them saying my poor brother is going through this. They said she didn't mention me at all. I told them that they needed to make her leave. So they went in there and said she needed to leave and then asked for my consent before anyone tried to visit. Midwives will lie for you and say you're not allowed more than one person in the room, you just have to brief them when your partner isn't listening 😂

@Sonia I’m so sorry you had to endure and go through that. So sorry for your loss

First of it’s ur decision about the delivery. It’s your vagina and your delivery so your hubby really has no say who’s in the delivery room (in my opinion). The hospital I guess you can both decide but still your preference comes first because ur recovering and you’ve had a surgery. I was the same c section and my milk took ages I don’t even remember how long but my baby didn’t have any milk for 3 days 😂 she was fine but the nurses said after 3 days we can try formula or donor milk and that baby doesn’t need anything but like a drop even of colostrum if it comes out for the first 3 days. If it doesn’t come baby literally DOES NOT need milk for 3-5 days postpartum it’s a fact. I would suggest u get your hubby in “your side” and get him to understand your point of view first so he can speak up for you to his family. He’s the only one whose words will make a difference to your MIL cuz he’s their son.

Once she starts talking, turn your back and walk away.