PPD

I struggled really bad with ppd with no suicidal thoughts (mostly anyway). I’d chat to your gp! I hope you are okay mumma, it doesn’t last forever but definitely do something about it, it’s hard ❤️

@Chloe thank you I definitely will!! It’s so strange because sometimes I think I have it but I lack the suicidal aspect like I don’t feel that way but I’m definitely not happy? My son is 6 weeks old xx

Depression, post partum or otherwise, doesn't have to involve suicidal thoughts. With any illness some people have certain symptoms and other people can have completely different symptoms. If you have ever symptom of PPD except suicidal thoughts then it's a pretty safe bet you have PPD. I recommend talking to your doctor about it, they can get you on a depression medication to help and then eventually you probably won't need the antidepressant anymore.

Yes it’s ppd, every one have different symptoms. If it’s not normal thoughts and feelings then yes you need to seek help before it turns into something else .

My PPD was just me feeling like it wasn’t real. I felt like I was constantly living inside of my head and I felt like I was crazy because I kept feeling like I was imagining my son and people were going along with it for my mental health which made me even crazier. I talked to my doctor about this and got some recommendations to try more skin on skin completely alone with your little one exercises where you stare into your babies eyes for five minutes and think of everything you like about being a mom. Soon enough after doing these exercises for a while I realized that my baby was real and I was doing a good job at taking care of him and it helped me a lot.

In that case, it’s still very early days and your hormones can still be a bit all over the shop but if you don’t feel okay within yourself and what you normally feel definitely seek advice! You will still have your good days but you will probably tend to have more bad days than good. I was rarely suicidal for the 2 years I struggled with ppd but I would never act on the suicidal thoughts if that makes sense, I also generally struggle with depression so all of its pretty ‘normal’ for me. My only tip would be to seek that advice and actually act on doing something to get help and try and get out of the house as hard as it is. Also trying to give yourself some ‘you’ time! Don’t let it make you feel any less of a mum either, it’s pretty common just not normalised or spoken about. If you’re first time mum, it’s a huge adjustment in all aspects of your life. I’m sending lots of love to you, I hope you start to have better days and feel better within yourself x

Thank you guys I’ll speak to my GP. Don’t get me wrong I still have a bond to my baby I adore him! And I don’t have any thoughts about hurting him however I do definitely have a majority of other symptoms and I definitely get a feeling of my baby not liking me ect and I don’t really enjoy being around him but I still enjoy seeing him xx

I think it doesn’t help that although I’m his main care taker he’s giving everyone else his firsts 😩 he first smiled at his dad then he’d smile at my mum and it took him a few days before he’d smile and me. He also slightly giggled at my MIL although unsure on this one as he’s not very old and he’s not done it since but everyone keeps saying “omg he did this” and it’s always something he’s never done or won’t do for me but I’m like always with him 😭😭 so I don’t think that’s helped my bonding of feeling like he doesn’t really love me xx

He’s just an innocent baby though so it’s not that he doesn’t love me but I just then feel like a shit mother for blaming him with my struggle to feel loved when he’s doing nothing wrong 🥺🥺