Gay or nay?

"With a woman" - Not gay. Could be bi etc if hes also having romantic/sexual relationships with men.

You mean, you as the female using the strap on, on him? Pegging him?

A man is only gay if he's attracted to men. He's bi if he's attracted to both men and women. Whether he enjoys butt stuff in the bedroom or not has no implication on his sexual orientation.

The only way anything can be “gay” is if it’s between two men. If it’s between a man and a woman it cannot ever be “gay”.

How is that gay….hes having sex with a women🥴

Is it heterosexual for a woman to use a strap on with her girlfriend? 🙃

How could it be gay if it was with a woman?

You mean the woman using the strap on, right? Why would a man need to use a strap on? Also, everyone who says it isn't gay is very naive. If the man is allowing or asking his female partner to use a strap on, on him, then he obviously has some secret desires about doing things with a man.

@Rachel girl you sound ignorant. Ignorance is not always bliss. The prostate, or “male G-spot,” is a small organ that can provide pleasure. It is located internally, between the base of the penis and the rectum. Stimulating the nerves attached to the prostate may be pleasurable. So if a heterosexual man wants a finger or toy in him to cum he’s definitely gay😂😂. Right? So all heterosexual women who like toys and fingers in their rectum are gay? Right? It has to be. Or are we going to say “women can like/do it . It’s not gay. But men liking it/ doing it ..ring the gay bells” And I could tell you whyyy a heterosexual man might wear a strap on while having sex with his heterosexual female partner. But maybe call your mommy to give you a bit of sexual education. I don’t want to strip away your naïve way of thinking.

I don’t think pegging would be considered Gay. It’s just kinky

@S. annalese I take it that you do it with your partner and are now worried 😏 most heterosexual couples don't do that sort of thing. My husband certainly has never expressed that he wanted me to do that to him & I know he never would because, like me, he would see that as something a man would do to another man.

@Rachel being educated and trying to educate a women like yourself who’s so hell bent on not listening but attempting to shame or “out” people is wild honey. Do you understand anatomy and how/why some men (regardless of sexuality) might enjoy this? 2)So you have talked to all the heterosexual couples in America and they have sat down and told you what they do and don’t do behind closed doors? Or do they always send you videos to confirm that “most heterosexual couples don’t do that sort of thing”. Additionally, you would be floors at what consenting adults do behind closed door that don’t even involve penetration of the rectum or vagina. But again, as a woman (since we are both creating assumptions) who enjoys vanilla sex and isn’t aware of how men cum…I understand why you’re not understanding. They call this a pillow princess too. Just because you and your partner don’t part take in xyz, don’t count out other people. And attempting shaming people like you’re 13 is not it…

@Rachel if you’re honestly and genuinely interested in what I do behind closed doors with my partner…you can ask in a none condescending manner. Perhaps with a little less attitude I would be open to discuss burning questions you have 😏 Don’t say you’re not because you brought it up and make an assumption in attempt to “shame” me. Or, Google. I’m sure you know how that works. Get educated. It’s okay to learn about sex beyond the missionary style. What’s not okay is your naïve and child like way on this conversation that incognito brought up.

@Rachel I'd be less worried about a man being open about what he enjoys with a woman being 'gay' and more worried about a man that's masculinity is so fragile he thinks a dildo up the bum makes him gay... sounds like he's more worried he'll enjoy it.

@S. annalese I'm not really interested in what you do in America. All I know is that here in the UK, most men are too worried to get their prostate checked at the doctors because it involves having a finger stuck up their backside, so they are probably not having anything stuck up there in the bedroom.

If a man is having sex with a woman, by definition that's not gay. Also action is not orientation, nothing short ofctuslly being gay is gay. Also so what if he was bi? If he wants to have sex with a woman in different ways who the fuck cares? This is as rediculous a moral panic as saying that people should only have sex in missionary position because doggy style is gay or something

@Rachel again, you keep saying “most” like you have statistics behind that comment. You can’t loosely say “most men” when you have no idea—regardless of what country you live in or are speaking about. If you have access number I’ll back off and agree with your comment. But you don’t, yet “most men I know”….. you say “most men are scared” of getting checked at the doctor’s office. Okay that’s valid because Iatrophobia is real..for men, women, children and animals. Yah, women get fingers and tools inserted in them at a gynecologist office or when they’re seeing an obstetrician office, perhaps you know this. Perhaps you’re unfamiliar. Do you think women are not stressed and tense during this. Yet they get home and love when their partner does this to them. sorry—I’m assuming this can’t be the same for men too??? Shall I provide more examples. Or are you hell bend on “probably” and “most men”

@Rachel so let me get this straight, you're using a statistic (with no evidence or numbers backing this) that there are dudes with extremely fragile masculinities as proof that someone who is secure in it must be gay??? Make it make sense 😂

@S. annalese alright then, a lot of men, not most. Is that better? I am actually speaking from statistics because the number of men in the UK who get their prostates checked is very low.

@Rachel if you’re speaking statistics provide a number. Providers a link from a credible source so I can read it and say “hun, Rachel you’re absolutely correct. This article says 90% of men____”. I’m all for giving your credit and validation if you can show me your source. I’ll call myself out if you can do this. I have no shame. Again Any numbers. How many of those a “lot of men” do you personally know. How many of them share (verbally and/ or through video) their bedroom habits with you. Because it seems like you know something the rest of the world is not knowing. And again, what’s “very low”? Low in comparison to 10 years ago within your country. Or low compared to other European countries? Low within a certain age or demographic? Low with a certain socioeconomic status? Low compared to Americans?

@Rachel And can you acknowledge my comment. “Gee, yah women do see the gyno and get internally checked. And that can be uncomfortable but yah, crazy how when they’re with partner (someone that love and know and share a life with) they enjoy items and fingers inserted in them. Wow. Never considered that point of view. And yah girl—Iatrophobia. That can make any medical situation off the bat unpleasant for any HUMAN and animal. Right!! Gosh” It’s like talking to a 14 year old. Girl. I’ve had enough of you. You continue with your naïveness. And good luck. Also, have a good day. Because it’s a wonderful day today.

Lots of women also avoid getting smear tests because it involves having things shoved up them. It doesn’t make any of those women lesbian and doesn’t mean they don’t have anything stuck up there in the bedroom. Most men AND women who avoid it is because they’re worried about being in an uncomfortable, vulnerable position with a complete stranger - nothing to do with their sex life

@Rachel do you want me to show you how to embed a link? Click on said article. Top right corner select the article and then paste it in this app. Ur welcome. So based on your finding you are only presenting information on racial demographic that get prostate exam as of 2021. Cool! And within this % do we know who’s heterosexual? Now in that very credible source you screen shot—please tell us how many of those men do or don’t get fingers or toys inserted in their rectum for pleasure. in that article how many men specifically state that “said percentage of men that do have items put in them are 100% heterosexual or still “figuring out their sexuality” “. But again, you’re telling me that “most heterosexual couples don’t do that sort of thing” Additionally, can you find the part in this source (or another credible source) that talks about why men don’t get their prostate check.

@Rachel It might be 'very low' because there is no screening programme for prostate cancer in the UK. Men aged 50 and over can ask their GP for a PSA test (blood test) but test results might not be accurate. So prostate exams aren't really a routine thing here in the Uk and men won't be invited to have one unlike women who are with pap smears.

Also no one asks these questions in any other situation. If a straight woman likes anal sex with her male husband no one says “Is my wife secretly a gay trans man?” If a man wants to fuck his wife anally no one asks if he’s gay. If a lesbian woman wants her female partner to fuck her with a dildo no one questions if she’s secretly straight. Also the use of medical exams as justification is just insane. I hate having vaginal exams, doesn’t mean I hate sex. The two things aren’t even comparable.

As everyone here has already said. There’s nothing sexual that a man can do with a woman to make him gay. I would also go as far as to say that doing something sexual with the same sex doesn’t necessarily make a person gay either but that’s another discussion

@Sierra no, it’s still homosexual lol

From the UK here too. MANY men love a finger/toy up the butt. In fact, id say 75% of men that I’ve been with have thoroughly enjoyed it 😉 Perhaps @Rachel hasn’t experienced this due to being so judgemental over men liking what they like without it meaning they’re gay 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Rachel so where do you draw the line on what butt stuff makes them gay with your logic? If you’re giving him oral and accidentally like his butt and he likes it…is that gay? If a woman wants oral from her man, does that make her gay…?

I think people are getting confused it's not gay dammit unless it's a guy doing it to a man ,doesn't matter what that person is doing to the other person,it's only gay when two men are fucking ,not a man and a women ffs there is some uneducated idiots here wow 😂😂my mind just fucked off 😀

@S. annalese “ring the gay bells” 😭🙌

@Carmen do you think it’s gay if a man has sex with a woman who used to be a man and has a penis?

Wow, thanks for chiming in everyone. I didn’t expect this issue to be so polarizing. For context- my husband and I enjoy pegging and he has ‘incredible orgasms’ from prostate stimulation. He is very secure in his masculinity and definitely not gay. However, we were discussing the social stigmas around male anal play so I figured I’d ask this community for their input because he is curious how it is perceived by most people and we are both bias. That being said AMA 🤷‍♀️

I’m kinda confused why we are trying to decide if a person is gay anyway. I mean isn’t that for them to determine? There are actions that can point to homosexuality but ultimately it’s up to the individual to choose whether or not they identify as gay

My partner absolutely enjoys butt play. WITH ME! Or even himself sometimes. The prostate is the male spot. So it makes sense. Now neither of us has interest in pegging. But finger play, licking, some toys. Absolutely. And he has no question in his sexuality or masculinity. 🤷

Unless he’s gay, he’s not gay 😅

@Zoe lol what made you ask me this question of all the people commenting on this post? This is getting into the realm of what you believe about transgender people and I’m not going there right now

@Carmen I meant to put it as a comment. People are saying gay or not gay. I wondered what people thought about that scenario. Gay or not? Nothing against transgender people it’s just a question.

@Zoe okay got you. Well in my opinion, it would be gay and I’ll leave it at that 😬 I’m sure that would be an interesting poll to post

@Carmen sorry if I upset you in anyway. I would have to agree, maybe I’ll put it as a poll.

@Zoe oh no worries it was definitely a question that made me have to think for a minute lol

For those who voted “bi-sexual” I’m curious as to the reasoning behind that answer. Would anyone care to elaborate?

A lot of people including women are into anal play. It’s got nothing to do with sexual identity

Sexual identity is a spectrum not linear. It's also no one's place to out or force labels on a person that they don't identify as.

Mens G spot is up there butt so it just feels nice but I don't think it makes them gay because it's a woman doing it

Any man can enjoy this type of sex ! Why wouldn’t they it’s where the Gspot is

@Lai such an ignorant and wholly wrong comment. Is it really that hard to understand that GAY = same sex? 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Lai lesbians can also use strap ons. Doesn’t make them straight does it

@Lai are you stupid? So if you want it up the arse does that make you gay? No it just makes you kinky ...that's not gay mate you need to go back to school and re educate yourself ,what gay MEN do is fuck each other,a man and women doing it together is a straight couple how does that not make sense to you? Your IQ must be low asf 🤭there is a thing called a G spot just because it's not the norm doesn't make it gay ...it takes TWO MEN to be gay ...doesn't matter what the guy likes ,what he does with a female will always be straight...you lack some basic fucking common sense 😩

@Lai so if two lesbians use a strap on does that make them straight? or if i want it up my ass does that actually make me a gay transgender male ?