Unanswered questions from my labour

I don't have answers but just to say I had a pretty similar experience, never wanted to get an epidural but baby turned during labour and once all the contractions hit my back, the pain just became excruciating. Before that, I was handling them well. There's no way I would have got through it without the epidural. I ended up in theatre with a spinal block in the end but they managed to get baby out with forceps and episiotomy but I feel like I have loads of questions about what happened during that time - I never saw my placenta for example or remember anything about them removing it, cutting the cord, or anything.. It irked me for a while but Allahu alam. I hope you feel better about it insha'Allah sis ❤️

I’d say your baby was not in the correct position. The most favourable position for start of labour is LOT/LOA, baby’s head will rotate slightly in your pelvis and get into OA position. A posterior baby or if baby’s back is towards your right side instead of left, your body will produce more intense contractions in order to help rotate them into a more favourable position and get the head to engage.

With my first baby, he was in an unfavourable position and because he was so big (we only found out he was massive after he was born) nothing I did during contractions helped him rotate and engage. I also had an episio with forceps and the poor buggar had a cone shaped head due to trying so hard to descent further into my pelvis in the wrong position. Second time around I’ve been more mindful of this.

I would say childbirth is just painful! I have a pretty high pain tolerance and I also found it excruciating and got the epidural after wanting to try natural to which which thank God I did because my labour was over 10 hours long but I was only 4cm when I got it

Try and arrange a birth debrief. It's a service your hospital will offer to go through your notes with you. This will be much more useful than us speculating xx

I had a very similar experience. I stayed at 1cm for nearly 11 hours.. didn’t want a epidural, but got one after 9 hours .. then ultimately had a C-section. Baby came out with a huge dent on the top of his head from being stuck way up high / sideways so he clearly was not in the right position and the right call was made for a C-section for both myself and baby !

@Sam I ended up having a c section because I wasn’t progressing and her heart rate kept rising at every contraction. Honestly it’s kinda traumatic not knowing why to all these questions

@Agnes would they have not been able to tell when they did the check with their fingers ? They never mentioned that she could’ve turned, and I don’t think I felt her turn either

@Agnes I’ve no clue on position cuz I ended up having a c section. For me, my daughter was only 6 lb 9

@Caroline do they have my notes ! And how do I book it?

@Amanda she has a debt at the back of her head. What would that mean?

Does your hospital provide an Afterthoughts service? They go through your birth in detail. I found it answered all my questions and was very helpful x

@Suzie how do I find out if they do?

@Zarah the dent on my little ones head quickly went away (like maybe a day later) but my midwives said it was likely due to where he was sitting in me.. I got a full set of papers with notes from my labor so I’d reach out to your care provider to see if they can provide you with that.

I had a similar experience. No answers but I feel you x

@Amanda would my gp have these notes

@Zarah I would assume so. I got them when I left the hospital

You can request your birth notes from the hospital you birthed at. It’ll all be recorded in there and for me reading them gave me much more clarity on what happened as I don’t remember a lot of my birth x

@Zarah I just called the maternity ward and asked... they literally made a note of it in a little book and the semi retired midwife who runs the service contacted me to arrange it x

@Suzie what do I ask for and what reasoning? I feel like it’ll sound silly asking 😭

Have you ever had sciatica or a pinched nerve? If baby is in a certain position they can hit a nerve and no matter your pain tolerance that can exceed it. When the contraction comes the nerves can be affected. Not to mention it can vary depending on how hydrated you are etc. Mine was 48 hours at 1cm dilated then c section.

@Zarah just say you were wondering if the hospital provides an appointment to go through your birth notes as you've heard some hospitals offer this

@Zarah through your hospital. It's a really common thing. Google 'birth debrief' or 'afterthoughts service'. Here's a blog of someone's experience in case it's helpful. https://www.leighday.co.uk/news/blog/2024-blogs/i-have-been-offered-a-birth-debrief-what-does-this-mean/

@Katherine I’m not sure if that was what was happening to me 😭

Just to add that maternity notes are kept for 25 years after birth so you can request a meeting whenever you feel ready.

@Zarah They can feel from your bump what position she’s in but they don’t always inform you. With my son they said ‘his bottom is up here’ nothing else so I didn’t exactly know where he was. My second pregnancy I’ve got a student midwife following my pregnancy and going to my appointments, she always asks my midwife about positioning because she needs to write on her uni book. Then I started researching about optimal positioning, which I had not done for my first born and could’ve avoided episio and forceps for me. It can be really frustrating because we need to fish for information ourselves, they don’t actually deliberately tell us these things.

@Agnes during labour, they never checked with their hands. I do know at 36 weeks she was breech but by 37 weeks, I had a scan and she was head down. After that- I’ve no Clue

@Zarah I can fully relate to your experience! The exact same as me give or take a few details. I wish it were protocol that the birth is discussed with us afterwards🙃

@Mary I wish it was too! Did they give any details at all or any explanation?