Am I over reacting
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@Tagmayne I didn't say anything because I knew I would have said something horrible and i will always say nothing over something nasty to family. I had said she doesn't need anything but the milk we had left twice before leaving. And she did ask 3 time before we left and my husband reiterated we would feed her at home too. She pushes boundaries, from day one she was obsessive over kissing my baby and wouldn't stop asking when she would finally kiss her. I just gave up saying please don't after 4 months because I was just too done with her to care anymore.
I don’t my own mother or MIL with my son The only person I trust is my sister. She has never gone against anything I’ve asked and she knows of his allergies and doesn’t “forget”
i don’t think being raped and sexually assaulted is the same as your MIL feeding your child, all grandparents over feed their grandchildren it’s a grandma thing and she meant no harm by it. one day when you’re not as on edge i think you’ll actually need your MIL so cutting her off over giving your child a suitable children’s snack probably isn’t the best thing to do. my MIL hates my child & i’d do anything for her to love, spoil & feed her like yours does. i think you should just let it go ngl i don’t think it’s that serious at all
These comments are wild to me. It’s absolutely not ok to feed a baby anything other than what has been explicitly told to them by the primary caregivers. It’s not like there was a miscommunication of some kind. What if she had given her something with an allergen she hadn’t had before and baby had a reaction? 7 month olds are very much just learning how to eat and have just started solids recently. She completely ignored a specific direction when watching your child. Not okay.
Yes, it's an over reaction. Maybe she just assumed snacks were okay. Not enough to be not leaving her with the baby again. That said, you obviously have reasons for having your guard up. Have you been to therapy? It might help you be able to work through the trust issues you have
Why is a 7 month old going 9-5 without any meals?
You could say yeah it’s just a snack. But if she purposely disobeyed the MOTHERS instructions then it’s a control thing. MIL’s like to be in control, all the I’ve raised kids before etc. it’s not okay. But like above have said, it could potentially just be a harmless mistake. I personally would have text before giving the snack, ‘did you mean no snacks or just no dinner?’ Don’t let this go over your head, she’ll keep doing it. I HATE it when family members even offer food to my 3 year old without asking me first. It drives me insane!!
Yes you're overreacting. If it was a chocolate muffin, I'd be furious but it was an appropriate snack. 9-5 is a long time with nothing solids wise if you have already introduced them to solods
It would be extremely hard for anyone with a heart not to give a 7 month old something from 9till 5pm
Why is the baby not allowed to eat all day if they eat at home?🥺
@Elena at 7 months it’s super common for babies to only have solids for one meal. No issue with doing that at dinner.
@Angel because they’re having formula or breastmilk? Their main source of nutrition…
@GMF at 7 months old baby usually has 2/3 small meals a day as well as their formula/breast milk? Especially if they have already been introduced to it at home. The baby would be hungry….
@GMF it would be very uncommon for them to be one meal a day at this age and for that meal to be so late in the day.. if they’re being collected at 5 that means that meal won’t be given until 5:30/6. Very close to bedtime.
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@Angel https://solidstarts.com/feeding-schedules/ Lots of evidence based information in that link. We did 1 meal a day at 6-7 months, two meals at 8-9 months, 3 meals 10-12 months and started introducing snacks at 12 months. My son is almost 3 and has always been perfectly healthy and gained appropriate amounts of weight. I’m pretty sure this mother knows if her child is hungry or not. And what the grandmother offered had little nutritional value anyway, so it certainly doesn’t seem like she was concerned the baby was hungry.
@Elena not all babies have the same bedtime, for one. Definitely not uncommon for a 7 month old to have one meal a day as that’s the recommendation from many reliable sources. Perhaps some guidance differs if you’re doing BLW, but that’s what tons of people do now. None of this changes the fact that the MAIN source of nutrition until 12 months is formula or breastmilk.
@GMF babies between 6-12 months need to be eating small amounts of soft nutrients food throughout the day. That’s just my opinion that’s also backed by evidence. I know from 6 months both my two girls would have been hungry just being on milk all day. https://www.unicef.org/parenting/food-nutrition/feeding-your-baby-6-12-months
@Angel what are “soft nutrients foods?”
@Angel I was asking a clarifying question because I didn’t know what something you wrote meant. The screenshot you includes also literally says they gradually move toward eating 3 meals. People are assuming a lot of things about the original poster based on something she wrote about one specific day, and they’re missing the point. The point is the mother in law not respecting a boundary that was clearly communicated to her. We don’t know how often this person generally offers her baby solids and to make the leap that she’s leaving her baby to go hungry is a big one given the information we have. You’re also in a different country and it’s good to remember that guidance differs (I’m saying it’s good for me to remember this too).
@GMF it’s gradually because solids get introduced typically at 6 months then at 7 months that’s when you introduce the 3 meals a day and baby getting used to the change….Maybe the MIL saw the baby was hungry because from 9-5pm is a very very long time and the milk was just not covering it so she gave her a snack. If I told my mum not to feed my 7 month all day I know she’d think I’m starving her. She was probably was coming from a good place
Honestly I think this is somewhere inbetween. This may have just been a communication error. I'd give benefit of the doubt but state that when I said don't give my kid things that includes snacks, please respect that. If they go ok I didn't know that counted, I'll make sure to not do that in the future, then fine. It doesn't have to be a personal attack from them, it could just be a harmless mistake. I get your trust issues. Same. But also people do just sometimes make harmless mistakes. The important thing is not that they never mess up, but that they own up to it and make sure it doesn't happen again. Did she get defensive when it was brought up? If she repeatedly disrespected your wishes then yeah I'd completely agree that maybe she shouldn't be alone with the kid. But if it was a one time honest mistake and she does try to do better, I wouldn't punish her for that