Childcare

Hi ladies! I’m a big ball of anxiety right now. I was approved for NYC’s childcare through ACS but just found out that they only pay the provider $52 a day for informal care (without a license) and $80 a day for formal care (licensed). I submitted all my paperwork 3 weeks ago and just got this information today after being on hold for 2 1/2 hours. I am suppose to return to work in 3 weeks. I am a single mama, daddy up and disappeared when I told him I was pregnant and he hasn’t responded to anything since December. He has made it clear he wants nothing to do with my daughter. I do not want to go for child support: A- I don’t want him to then go for visits. My concern is how will he treat her if he couldn’t be bothered to go to any doctor visits, didn’t want to be present when she was born nor afterward, and didn’t want to come see her when she came home. B- child support is not guaranteed. It may be ordered but it could take up to a year to receive anything. I have experienced this with my first whom is now a preteen and I have friends who’ve gone through the same. I make a pretty decent amount, enough to provide everything she needs, but not enough to cover the remainder of childcare. I have minimal help this time around. Any suggestions? Anything else I can apply to for more help? Anything will help. TIA!
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I have the ACS voucher and my daughter attends a fully licensed day care and I don’t pay anything

@Mafe could it be the income?

Hi! Its based on income, I'm not married and I make just above the income requirement but not enough to pay rent or childcare and I qualify for nothing, if your income puts your above the requirement there isn't much you can do.

And I believe childcare has nothing to do with custody, they are separate, so the fact that he took off, means you would get sole custody, otherwise right now without doing anything, he has 50% custody rights in the state of NY

@Anela Childcare and child support are 2 separate things. I only mentioned anything about child support as far as getting him to help pay for the childcare.

@Anela I also spent 6 years in court for custody of my son. I am fully aware of how the court system in NY works. I should be paid at this point, that’s how much of a mess it was. No one has custody until filed for, that is correct. I have enough evidence to get sole custody when I am ready to go and do so. Again, it was only mentioned as a last resort to pay for childcare.

I wasn't coming at you, I was providing information, and as far as daycare support its income based. I'm sorry you are dealing with a mess, but you can't force anyone to do anything, your best bet is to get him to pay child support so you can send your child to daycare.

1) Child Support doesn't take that long to receive, Once you guys settle it in court. The payments will come in right away. Also They give you a date that's real far away. But you can ask for back payments. So if the court date is 6 months, at the date of the appearance you can ask the judge for back pay. My BD still paying back pay, I get a lump sum of $5k each year from him and then the regular child support payments. 2) Wait for her to grow older and be able to defend herself, that's usually what all moms do who leave the dads while the baby young. 3) You can also give the voucher to a family member that you trust to watch your daughter it doesn't have to be an actual daycare & I have a ACS voucher i just give it to the daycare and they sort it out idk about the limits or anything.

@Anela I didn’t say nor think you were coming by at me. I was explaining I am aware of how the courts work and who does or does not have custody. All of that is irrelevant except for why I’d prefer not to take him to court. I know the childcare voucher is income based. I was unaware that they pay different amounts out for people based on income. I was approved and received a voucher but am only eligible for what I stated. Like I said I make a decent amount (I pay my rent, utilities, car, food, supply my kids with everything etc etc and I do not receive any other assistance). I was looking for information on something that may supplement the voucher. Im not trying to and do not want to force anyone to do anything including my daughter’s father. It is not good for her and her best interest is all I care about. Thanks for the input.

I understand, unfortunately there isn't anything else, to supplement, I'm quitting my job because I don't qualify for anything, its even worse for the ones who make just above the income limit but not enough to do anything with.

@Anela I’m not sure why you’re not eligible if you applied as a 2 person household. Unless you didn’t and put dad down. If you’re with someone even if you’re not married then you have dual income and then I’m really confused. If you did put yourself down as a 2 person household and make just above the income cut off then you’d be eligible but would have a higher copay. I looked into that part extensively because I was worried about making too much. I make 70k and single. I applied as a 2 person household. This is because I had to settle on joint custody of my son even though I mainly take care of him (no child support in or out) I pay for everything alone (rent, utilities, car, food, take care of my kids and everything else). I just can’t afford the extra for childcare. If I pay for everything, am at the income limit, I do not get any other state or federal assistance and am eligible for some kind of help I think you should look into it again and reapply. Something’s not adding up.

On your ACS voucher, it tells you your weekly fee. Did you receive your voucher pdf in email yet?

@Victoria I got my voucher back in September. $10 a week. The representative then told me they pay $52 a day for informal care and $80 a day for formal care. If the provider charges more than that then I have to pay it plus the $10 a week. I have to go with informal care because of my work schedule and wasted time trying to find someone who could do the hours I need. Now I’m suppose to figure out how to pay another $500 a week right before going back to work.

I also have a Acs voucher I would call daycares and ask if there take the voucher. The amount depends on the age of your baby.?

@Lashawnda I cannot do daycares. I work until 11:30PM, that is why I have to do private care which they only pay $52 a day. I cannot change jobs either because I will not make what I make now. Yes, the amount goes based off child’s age, that is the rate they are paying for an infant.

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Have you looked into daycares that offer extended hours? With my previous job I worked until 9:00pm and would get my son by 10:00pm. I found a daycare that accomodate that. I didn’t take my kids to that daycare, but there are some out there.

@Victoria I did look into that when I first started looking for someone in September. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anything like that around me. That’s why I started looking for someone private that could do it. No one wanted to do it because it was a voucher and now that makes sense.

I am so sorry mama. I know it’s overwhelming. I had to switch jobs because of childcare as well. It’s just ridiculous.

@Victoria thank you. I mean, they should disclose all this information prior to. Now I’m having anxiety attacks while trying to figure it out and only have 3 weeks to do it. I barely slept and have been doing nothing but researching and asking around. The rep said it’s on the website but I looked and couldn’t find anything on what they pay out. How there’s anything on it when they pay out different for everyone doesn’t add up. The system is a joke.

My partners income disqualifies us or I'd have to lie and I DONT feel comfortable doing that. But not working puts us at a one income household, my take home pay personally needs to be 85k or its not worth it to have someone else bond with my 4 month old. So even if I could get help, its not worth it to me till she's at least 1 and the job has to be like so awesome to even consider going back to it. But yes it puts us at a stretch till I go back. I'm just saying in general anyone who makes above the income requirement suffers.

@Anela Yeah the only logical thing to do at that point is take a lower paying job and apply for the help until you can get a college degree or something to start making more than 80k

@Genn how do you get someone to watch the baby at home?

How far are you tryna travel in NYC are you near Mount vernon?

I ask because the company my sister works at has daycare concierge service and I could ask her for 2nd shift providers in the area.

@Falesa I think you call ACS and let them know

@Mimi what's the name of the company? I could benefit from this aswell

They always say record how the father is with you instead of saying what he doesn’t do for the child. It’ll reflect on his character and make it harder to fight for visitation rights.

@Mimi I’m way too far. I don’t live in the city and I don’t work in the city. I appreciate the thought ❤️

@Dae’Zha with my older child I had police records of DV. I had texts to my phone from the girl he cheated on me with. I’m sure you can imagine what she said. He also had a criminal record and a felony out of state (he hid this from me and I was unaware of it until after my son was born). All that to say, he got visits and 6 years later in court we were forced to settle on joint custody. I also didn’t get support until after a year in because he didn’t pay even though it was ordered. I don’t trust the court system. I just want to add, I obviously cannot pick a man to save my life, literally. With my older child I had a family member help with care. She is now a cancer patient and is unable to help. She is the only family I have left. I have friends that can help here and there but nothing permanent or even consistent. This is why I’m here looking for any info on help.

We're in a country where the president is a convicted felon, I guess it depends on the felony. Like if it was a case on abusing other kids I doubt he'd get visitation or anything. This is the reason I remind men that they still have rights as fathers because a lot of them would rather be deadbeats than fight for their Kids & Don't worry if he does not pay child support; if it is on record in a court that he is required to pay all of that, you will receive the check once he has applied for retirement benefits. You will still receive the money even if your child is an adult at that point. I had a cousin who worked for the Social Security Administration and she saw a lot of cases like this. The men would discover that their entire SSA check was being used to pay child support.

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@Genn it was for threatening a woman with kidnap and physical harm over drugs. She recorded it. That’s my son’s father, who did get visits. I don’t care about the support except for childcare for my daughter. My kids have different fathers. As far as my daughters father goes, Like I said, it may be ordered but it’s not guaranteed. If it doesn’t come now it doesn’t help now. I also don’t want him involved if he doesn’t want to be, which he’s made clear. He also has another daughter a couple years older that he does have a relationship with. The whole situation will only end up hurting my daughter and I want to avoid that at all costs.

@ Genn It's called bright horizons concierge.

@incognito. I'm sorry it can't help. I know childcare is beyond expensive. It held me back when I was a singleton. Shouldn't be this way. All I can say is I started doubles on the weekends because of childcare issues. If there's someone who'd take a smallish grip of cash a la new to the country or older a nanny share. Stay strong the government is a flaky friend who gives enough to look good, but it's never enough

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