I just really need to vent I’m so upset on behalf of my husband

There’s a very long backstory from my MIL being rude nasty shouting at me etc which consequently has put my back up. She posts everything over Facebook and can’t seem to keep her mouth shut. If you make it to the end well done! ❤️ Since having our daughter in March all she’s gone on about is our IVF which she didn’t support us through at all (during this time shouting at me at my mums family event. She laughed in my husbands face when our first transfer failed and he was feeling very down about it and we were both going through counselling I didn’t really want to talk to her at this event because I was so hurt she found it funny I was civil said hello goodbye etc but wasn’t good enough) after this I said to my husband I can’t do that relationship anyway I gave her another chance. She started talking to me very unaware how violating of my privacy this is she had someone come into her work (she works in a child’s play cafe) firstly she was like she had IVF too (why are you discussing ivf with a stranger) and then (I had just got out of hospital) she said it’s very normal to have your health condition after pregnancy (why are you discussing this) she said she knew me (I’m a nurse at the same hospital as this midwife) so not only has she told people we had IVF (my husband told her we don’t want her known as the IVF child etc) she posted bits about my daughters christening I told her to remove it (this started a massive problem she can post what she wants she’s her nanny or whatever) she then had a party and my friend had a friend at this party (my husband and I didn’t attend he was working) my friend asked “how do you know them” she said through a band she follows along with MIL how do you know her? My friend replied ah she’s my friends MIL I was at the christening the other day her friends response was “oh her son who had IVF” why does this person know I don’t even know them?! We hashed it out we told her respect our boundaries and privacy anyway I then get a phone call from my cousin who owns a salon in the Same town MIL works. One of her clients was talking to MIL through a mutual event anyway MIL asked where do you get your nails done she said the salon and then MIL oh I wouldn’t go there my DIL cousin owns it they fallen out (we haven’t at all) and she’s not nice not a nice place. Client has come back and told my cousins employee who has obvs told my cousin. This is the last straw I sent a message saying you can’t respect me therefore no access to grandchild. His whole family has blocked and deleted him on everything and I feel so awful it’s eating me up but my husband did say it was last straw and the message was agreed by him prior to sending I’m just so hurt they have no care for their relationship and blame me!

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I have no advice but sending hugs, that’s a lot to deal with😣x

This is extremely invasive, the fact that she has shared the private details of your pregnancy with literal strangers in what sounds like a small town, to the point where people are bringing it up to you. Absurd. You are not wrong in a single way for your family keeping distance from her, if I was you I would never give her another chance to be involved with your family, the things she has done are outright disrespectful and disgusting. And let me be the one to say , your baby is here no matter how she was conceived, you did it, you gave birth to beautiful baby. How dare she make it seem any different than that. How your baby came about is of no concern, not to MIL or any of her friends or people she may run into. You and your husband will grow from this and although I’m sure it hurts now I think the decision you guys have made will be best in the long run. It should be eating her up, not you.

I do in some respect blame my husband for some of this in 2019 during our wedding arrangements we decided his 40+ cousins with their partners and children we couldn’t afford for them to come at £60 per head for the day so was inviting them to evening only. His mum didn’t like this accused me of being abusive and controlling (because she didn’t get her own way) blamed my uncle for putting it in her head (he didn’t). My husband didn’t defend me back then and didn’t put boundaries in place his sister allows his mum to do whatever she wants her husband doesn’t talk to his family to please MIL and it’s very toxic and I’ve struggled with allowing my child see them up until this point but did it because “it’s my husbands family and it’s what he wanted” I feel I’ve been so hurt by these people over the years and feel guilty my husband has reassured me I’ve done nothing wrong and I’ve not wanted to cause problems quite the opposite even after 2019 I tried at a relationship

I’m just so hurt but feel bad it’s horrible

If his mom had such a problem with the wedding plans she could’ve paid for the plates of all the cousins + family but she didn’t bc she obviously couldn’t afford it same as everyone else. The audacity of her to call you controlling or abusive because of this when you still invited them to the PM activities. It sounds like shes used to getting her way a lot of the time, to the point her daughters husband has just grown accustomed to dealing with her way sadly. Just another point that makes your decision even more so justified. Stay away until she can figure out how to be a decent human being. Keep in mind also raising a baby in the midst of all this.

PM me if you ever need an ear 👂🏼 💕

@Gabby she paid for her daughter’s wedding gave her a house deposit. Buys her children everything his sister has no friends and lives in the pocket of her mum they do everything together it’s sad really. Even more sad really my parents Helped us pay for the IVF supported us. My husband asked if they would help and the response was “but it’s her problem” I can’t help who his family is but I’ve never been given respect when I feel I have really tried

@Gabby Thankyou ❤️

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