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I'm so sorry, I lost my firstborn at 33 weeks and ended up having an emergency C-section when I hemorrhaged after they induced me, he was born Christmas Eve 2021. I then fell pregnant with my second boy the following August, thankfully everything went well and I opted to have a C-section at 37 weeks with him and he's happy and healthy. He really has helped me recover from my loss massively. However, I really did need those months before conceiving to let myself grieve for a while. One thing I will say though, is I really struggled to accept that I was pregnant the second time, I almost completely ignored the fact that he was there, I'm guessing this is my way of protecting myself just in case something went wrong. I had absolutely no connection or bond with him whatsoever when I was pregnant, but the moment I saw him when he was born, the feeling was something else, just pure love and joy. You definitely are not alone, unfortunately this happens much more often than it should.

Sorry, second comment as character limit reached Take the time that you need to recover and give yourself a few weeks just to let your hormones settle and just remember to talk to people and seek support if you need it. There is a fantastic charity called sands who help support people who have gone through stillbirths and infant deaths. There should be a support group local to you if you feel you need to go xx

@Nadine thanks for taking the time to message 💜 I can completely understand that you needed some months to grieve before conceiving again. I think that's so natural, and I imagine us needing that too.. although I hope to have about 1 year gap, as I've seen that that seems to be the lowest recommended post csection 🤔 Its such a shock, I never heard much about loss before I was in this situation. I wish I was a little more informed and aware of the realities that can come with pregnancy/motherhood. Thanks for sharing your story. I will be reaching out to the charities over the next few weeks. Xxx

I am so sorry Marnie I can’t imagine anything more painful than losing your little one. I am a midwife and looking after grieving families is a part of my job but only after having my little girl have I realised the full impact the loss has on you and your whole family. I understand the need to fill the void and have some joy in your life and something to look forward to but I would say take your time before you start trying again. C Section is a major surgery and you need to heal first, physically and emotionally before you try for another bubba. I am thinking of you, lots of love x

@Jana thank you Jana. Your work is so important, and the only comfort that was provided to us in those first few moments/days was from people in your role. Thanks for all you do! 🙏 The midwife we had supporting us did say she recommended 18 months before another baby, but then said realistically the bare minimum would be 1 year (including pregnancy)? X

I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. Would you like to share his name? I lost my firstborn baby at full term, I went into labour, her growth had slowed and she got distressed, the c section wasn’t done quickly enough 💔 it’s the most heartbreaking thing and life is forever different afterwards. Take as much support as you can. I was advised wait a minimum of 3 months before conceiving as the surgeon likes there to be 1 year in between surgeries. It may depend on how many c sections you’ve had. We waited 4/5 months and conceived on the 8th month. We had our rainbow baby in 2022 and our pot of gold in 2024. It is natural to want a baby straightaway as you should be looking after the baby you planned for but try to take a bit of time to recover physically and mentally xx

So terribly sorry for your loss. We lost our girl at 24 weeks in February , and we conceived again in July and now expecting our rainbow baby in March. I was the same, it would eat me up inside every single day thinking how much I just wanted to be pregnant again 😭 but I will say the 5 months we waited really allowed us to process everything and understand more why it happened and allowed us to grieve. We are now super excited but it hasn’t been an easy journey as we have felt constantly worried and anxious , it’s hard to feel attached. Just do what you feel is right ❤️ no one can tell you otherwise. Xxx

@Lydia thank you for your comments and sharing your story. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It brings me so much joy to hear about the expansion of your family since! 🌈 I hope you are all keeping well. This is really helpful advice, thank you and it also mimics what the midwife did mention at the time re 3 months between conceiving 🤞 we will be arranging a funeral, and trying to find our way through Christmas and family plans before jumping into anything so I'll make sure to have time to recover a bit first. Baby steps... xx

@Charlotte thank you for your response and for sharing your story. I'm so sorry for your loss 💜congratulations on your news, that's so wonderful and brings me such hope which is so needed at a time like this. There's no right or wrong hey, but thank you for the reminder 🙏 already finding this channel incredibly supportive as feeling less alone! Xx

Im so sorry to hear of your loss. It is the worst thing i believe a human can experience, the most life changing too. I lost my baby boy when he was 5 weeks old. He was born December 26th and should of been 2 this coming boxing day. I had a c section, and honestly in the pits of my grief and/but still wanting to be a mother didnt care much for guidlines. I was pregnant again the following august, completely healthy and was also told i could have a vbac if thats what i wanted. My baby girl is now 6 months old, and heals my broken heart a bit more every day. I miss my son tremendously and he will never be replaced, but i did need to fill the empty arms and my rainbow did just that xx

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my second son at 27 weeks. It’s devastating but just know that your feelings are valid and that it’s ok to not be ok, you can always reach out to me if you need to talk.

@Rebecca I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of love and light this time of year. Thanks for sharing your story and experience, I totally agree that what is right for you, will be right for you and we can't all focus on guidelines/perfect planning or timings in situations such as these! Such joy to hear about your rainbow 🌈 it brings such hope hearing from others who are finding ways to bring joy, light and positivity into their new lives. ✨️ xx

@Whitney thanks so much! I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Sending you love xx

I’m so sorry you have to go through that. But I don’t recommend trying to conceive for at least a little while. Let your body recover. I had my son at 33 weeks. Vaginal birth. He is still alive. But I got pregnant at 6 weeks later. Because of it being so close, I lost my daughter. I went into labor at 22 weeks, stayed in the hospital for a week, forced to have her because I started hemorrhaging. She was born at 23 weeks. She survived 7 days. Her heart gave out. It was devastating. I know you lost your child and I know it hurts. But wait. Grieve. Heal. Then try again. You will get your rainbow baby.

Hi Marnie , I’m so sorry about your loss , please try to keep your head up , after every storm a sun will show up , it does take time to feel better and be better but you can do it , I believe in you ! I felt exactly the same after loosing my baby at 37w , I wanted to be pregnant straight after, I’m not sure maybe it was a matter of desperation for me to heal faster with a new baby .. but it took me 8months before I became pregnant again , and I’m happy it happened at that time , as I had enough time to grieve, and enough time for my body to heal from the trauma .. Take your own time to when you’re ready to have a rainbow baby , but my advice would be not to rush , as the pregnancy after loss is very difficult and full of fear , I went through it and last couple of weeks were hell for me , especially when it came closer to the week I lost my 1st born .. Sending you warm hugs 🫂

@Nat thank you for your kind words and taking the time to write and share your story. I'm so sorry for your loss 💞✨️ I hope you and your family are keeping well! I can imagine that pregnancy and parenting is so difficult after our experience. (I have a toddler already who I'm suddenly becoming a very anxious parent to!) So nervous of more bad things happening... I'll be resting and trying my hardest to focus on recovery until next year. Any recommendations for books, podcasts, blogs or anything that you found helpful, please do share xxx

@Marnie thank you 🙏🏻 my family is doing pretty good , we still have our “bad days “ , but nothing as close as a year ago .. Oh I’m so happy you have a toddler , I’m sure it’s difficult to have a baby everywhere and anywhere but maybe that’s good to take your thoughts away time to time 😅 Well I wish I could help you better , but for me what was helpful was the music that I listen to , walks , and my husband support , I’m not good with books or podcasts really 🤔 I’m a believer so prayers helped me to I found peace in them xx