Idk how to process this but my pregnancy story/journey Please send thoughts and advice

Me/I (F/21) father/bd (M/40) (December- January) So I was homeless in a shelter and I ended up getting really sick there so I asked M/40 if I could stay they till I could start stripping to make more money for a place to live (for a bit of backstory I had met him once before when I was 18 also not going to mention the other people involved in the story because it’s more so like side plots to the main situation if anything) And he agreed to do so specifically stated that if I stayed, I wouldn’t have to do anything physical and I already know how some men can be and I knew it was gonna go down without me having sexual relations with him so I did so when it was asked of me regardless of how I felt because I needed a place to live and ended up i’m getting pregnant even with the use of contraception and was supposed to have a non-invasive procedure but then he was going on vacation and was like just come back when I’m off of vacation (February -march) so I stayed in my tent for a while and waited for M/40 to let me know when to come back after a while he was back and just neglected to say anything and then decided to hit me up and say “hey did you handle that” and I said no I’m waiting to come back over there so I can have a place to shower and everything because I didn’t want to just be bleeding out and not being able to take a shower now due to some issues M/40 was feeling about someone else that has nothing to do with the situation decided to wait two more months before giving me the OK to come back, which means I would have had to receive an invasive procedure for it to be done (April-may) I was back inside but trying to kind of use me being pregnant as an excuse not to physically have sex with (M/40 with my lower half (I don’t wanna be too vulgar) So I was still doing oral whenever I was asked and it was always something “Oh something made me sad Can I have some” and I would just do it and one day M/40 realized that I didn’t wanna do it and I was doing it anyway and he just got really mad about it and afterwards was almost disgusted with me I wanna say or maybe it was just extreme irritation and he was like oh I just won’t ask you to do it anymore since you don’t want to do it in my mind I was like well great and then outwardly I was like what no I dont mind 😭 and then it got progressively worse from there. If it wasn’t already bad, M/40 would walk around, saying how he’s gonna go find somebody to do it since I won’t do it and all types of stuff and I really didn’t mind in the moment, cause I’m like thank God it’s not me for a time. ( It wasn’t the fact that M/40 was doing that because I genuinely didn’t wanna do things with him if I didn’t have to. it was the fact that I believe he was trying to use it to get me to go back outside what makes me genuinely feel like what he said to me when I first got there about me not having to have sex with him to stay was basically just something that he was saying to seem nice cause he was constantly saying it like oh like you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, and then the second he realized I didn’t want to all hell broke loose) So I had to start sleeping on the couch because M/40 was sleeping with several people and not washing the sheets and then he started having sex on the couch I was sleeping on so I was sleeping on the floor and one of the girls felt bad for me and he got mad and told me not to do it again😭 around this time is when I found out that the invasive procedure wasn’t viable for me because I am anemic w low blood count so I had to go to a hospital instead of a clinic and I couldn’t find a specialist in time(the clinic had gave me a bunch of outdated people to call). I told M/40 that and then all of a sudden now that I couldn’t get the procedure he’s like well how do I know it’s mine and all types of stuff like that and I was like I was literally living here when I became pregnant I wasn’t leaving the house at all because I was scared I’d be stuck outside again. So we move on from there and I just keep going day by day trying to keep myself together and the day before I gave up and just decided to go live in my tent M/40 kept saying well what are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it and I said end my life if it makes yours easier then he got upset and started making it about himself and then was like oh well you need to go take a walk because you’re being too depressing and there might be someone here when you get back so just call me or knock on the door and when I got back, of course there was somebody in there and I couldn’t get in and I know if I would’ve waited in the hallway. It would’ve upset him so I just stayed in the park across the street and I stayed in the park until 1 o’clock in the morning and the only reason he even remembered to say something is because he needed five dollars for some weed. So the next day I come back ready to let it all go because again this was kind of my only option at the time So I came back inside and did a survey of my belongings like I tend to do when I leave the place for a certain amount of time old shelter habits and I realize he ate all my snacks and use my only lotion as lube(I cleaned the entire house multiple times and organized his things and told him where they were. He literally has a closet full of lube and oil ) and then also swapped blankets with me and gave me the dirty fucked on blanket I don’t know if it was the hormones or what but I packed all my shit the same morning put everything in garbage bags and whatever I couldn’t carry, I threw in the garbage said see you later. I walked out the door with no plan on where I was going. I got a little lucky and a friend asked his sister if I could rent a room the downside is there was no room and I was paying $500 a month to sleep on the couch six months pregnant😭 and traveling 2/3 hours to and from work and having what I did have disturbed by her children and when I did speak out and say something, she just shrugged her shoulders and kept it moving and that’s when I decided that it was time to leave and then I left from there to stay in a tent (June-August) I was living out of a tent in my cousin‘s backyard had a few heat strokes, but ultimately ended up meeting someone online, who realized I was living in a tent and offered to help me and late August I stayed in the hotels after having a heat stroke that put me in a hospital and waited until it was time for me to make my way to my new place of residence I genuinely didn’t even think I was going to make it. The heat was so bad. I ended up walking through 2 states and taking the greyhound for about a half a day to finally make it, but I’m happy I did because I had my daughter in September and we now have a place to stay and I’m able to take care of her while I start to build a life for the both of us, it wasn’t thebest of starts and I definitely wouldn’t say I’m happy it happened. I feel bad for her and I still don’t know how to think about what happened to me. I don’t know how to involve him. I’m still going to get the DNA test done because I feel that she should know who her father is even if he isn’t the best person in the world and she should have the opportunity of knowing him and honestly all of my friends think I should one child support and I’m starting to think so too. I don’t know why I feel the need to make his life so easy when he literally has made my life pretty much as hard as it could get right now. I didn’t put him on the birth certificate because I don’t think he deserves to have rights to her. He wasn’t physically abusive, but I definitely don’t feel OK. My dream was that if I were to ever have a child that I would have a stable home for her even if I wasn’t with the father for the father to be a good father and I have failed and I don’t know what to do, but I just try my best and make life the best I can for her