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@Rori thank you. I just wish he chose to be happy with me
You cannot force people to love you or to be happy with you. This will not change, he will not wake up one morning a different man. The abuse will continue and get worse…. Don’t wait for it, life is too short and there is someone out there for you who will make you happy the way you deserve xx
@Jana thank you. I'm just broken, the words he has called me I think will break me for life
One of his ex's has alot of money so she keeps him happy, she comes from wealth 😔
When I ask for money he says I'm the worst women his ever got with, that I need to sort my life out, I make him sick and I'm worthless as a women to be this broke. He says I need to sort my life out and be a better mother. I have a mortgage, I'm degree educated, I'm a single mum and I have no savings as I only have one income so it's always hard every month and he says I should feel ashamed to ask for money from him. He is a drug dealer and he says I have no shame asking for money to feed me and my child. He says he hates me and I'm no good
When I met him I told him I have a mortgage and he got very verbally abusive saying so what he don't care, I thought he would be proud of my accomplishments, he said why don't I go and get a education because I'm dumb , I said I have a degree and he laughed and said so what I'm still dumb and that his ex's didn't have a degree they work and get money so they are more smarter than me because I'm still broke. I told him I want my own business but I need to train for first he said I have no sense why would I train to get a business to know the field and I should just open a shop which is what he plans to do with his drug money
He said I should be ashamed that I'm a single mum and that it's just been me and my son and he said why don't your son have name brand items that his a geek
Wth this 'man' sounds like an absolute turd!! If i had accomplished what you have and then someone spoke to me like that putting me down like that I wouldn't give them a second look! You've worked hard, it's not easy having a degree, a mortgage and top of that you're doing it on your own! You should be so proud and able to hold your head high. Don't let a drug dealing low life put you down like that!
@Umera I have worked hard but I'm broken. Everything he has told me I have started to believe it, or even if I don't believe it iv just stuck around to understand why he hates me so much A therapist said to me a few months ago that I don't have any cheerleaders in my life hence why all that you have said I should be proud of his words over power that because it's just me, I don't have anyone around cheering me on to get me to feel better about myself and if I did maybe I wouldn't of even attracted him. I also feel I have stuck around him because I wanted to prove to him that I am worthy. He compares me to his ex's alot and they are better than me because they have money but I thought by having a mortgage and a degree would make him feel I'm doing well but all he keeps saying is I'm broke. He said his ex's don't have a degree and they got money so he's saying I'm a low life because I'm broke and I am broke because my money goes to my child and my bills and it's just me, his ex's had kids but they got help
from their baby fathers, family etc so of course they had some residual money but it's just me, no one else just me so of course even though I'm working I have nothing left. He says I'm the most low life his ever met. That I make him physically sick when iv asked him for money because cost of food/ living everything has gone up. Iv been unwell a few times with flu and lower back pain and he goes crazy saying why you always sick, your life is F'd up, fix your life, do your hair. He said his ex's worked in the care field and I work in admin, he says she's a harder worker than me because she's on her feet and I'm at a desk. He says his ashamed of me and he wishes he never met me. He wasn't intimate with me for 10 months, he would turn his back to me for 10 months so when I say I'm broken I'm just broken and he won't tell me why he hates
me so much I believe he has observed me and that's why he keeps me down. When I say I'm speaking to a friend he goes crazy, it's like he doesn't want me having any outside interaction He also is very against my son, when I had to pay alot if bills, I asked him for money for food for that month, each week I asked for the money, he would give me money for food but if I said I need it to get food for my son he will say he ain't got no money even though he has £8k a day, I have no money after bills only £60 because my job doesn't pay much and that hurts that he hates my son. When I speak to my son I say hello love and he mocks me and laughs saying why you speak so soft to your son So if I ask for money for food I have to say it's for myself and not for my son
Why are you still with him?! He sounds absolutely awful!
LEAVE. THIS. MAN. this is abuse. Get out. It will be soooo difficult but once you’re on the other side you’ll see how much happier you are and will be so grateful you left. You deserve better and even if you don’t believe that for yourself, think of what this man will do to your son’s view of women and his own self-esteem. I’m begging you. Get out.
WTAF? Hang on, so he was a prick from the moment you met him and you still stuck around? Why?! I hope he's amazing in bed, as that's the only plus point I can think of! With respect, you're degree educated yet stayed with a complete arsehole, which isn't smart. I genuinely don't understand why you would do that? Fuck him. There are plenty of decent guys out there!
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
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to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
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You need to leave this man. His behaviour isn't just cruel, it's dangerous. He wants you to feel small. And your kids will notice how he treats you. He doesn't deserve your love.
@Rebecca this is how things can be, loneliness, having no friends, no family, isolation will make you stay around. I'm speaking here on the app about it because in real life there isn't anyone to speak about it. I stayed also because I am scared when he gets in issues with his dealing he will think it's me because iv left and then he will come for me and my loved ones ( my mum and a cousin that he knows) and I didn't want any issues. I'm more scared about that. Iv known him 2 years now and want out His not good in bed, we wasn't intimate for it to be good, for months he would turn his back on me in bed. He cheated on me and he never slept with me. I rather go outside to have sex. 10 months he didn't have sex with me and every night he would turn his back I would cry and ask him why are you doing this, he would say shut up I'm trying to sleep
This Plain and simple abuse. If he's not even intimate with you then what does he get out of this arrangement? A place to sleep? Or is he plain psycho and just gets a kick from abusing you? Ask yourself if you would be happy for someone to treat your son like this when he's older. If the answer is no then don't allow yourself to be treated like this. Don't allow your son to see you treated like this. Please please reach out to whoever you can like womens aid and / or the police if you need to.
He doesn’t deserve you. If he can’t love you the way you want him to get rid of him. Xx
Sweetheart I am so sorry you are going through this. But the signs were there right from the beginning, correct? You were just so blinded by love that you allowed him to treat you like dirt on his shoes and kept coming back for more. You allowed a lot of this and you accepted it…. No wonder he won’t change. He doesn’t need to. From what you have said you are capable of looking after yourself and your baby. You have job, you have income, you have your education and now you have to find the strength to leave this piece os sh*t. You are doing much better than many women in abusive relationships. A drug dealer? Being given money by his exes? Honestly girl? What examples is this providing for your baby? Be your own cheerleader. Be your own advocate. Aim for more because there’s more to relationships than abuse. No one can do this on your behalf but be the one who says enough is enough. Be the inspiration other women need
I also stayed around so I wouldn't be on my own and I needed some support with money but then I realised I ain't even getting that he won't give me money and when he does it's £30 a week for food which I have to say it's not for my son. My jobs doesn't pay much. I stayed to make him love me because I wanted to prove that he keeps saying his ex's was better and I wanted him to wake up and see that these women and even his friends don't care about him, iv been the one who has stood by him in the worse of times but he respects his friends and his ex's so well. He puts these women on a high pedistall and I'm not sure why he that to them and has never seen the love I had for him. He created a home with his ex's but he refuses to create a home with me. His ex's had kids and he gave money and presents to her kids but he hates my son- why? What is it about me that he hates so much. Even in previous messages above about the business and the uni thing and how he compares to his ex's it doesn't make sense to me
I think I have hung on because I finally just wanted a apology and accountability from him to say I was the best woman his had and that I'm clean and that I'm not a bad person, he keeps saying I'm a shit woman, I'm a useless woman, that I can't cook and that I'm used goods. I don't go out just to prove how pure I am and then he will say I'm lazy even though I go to work and stay in the house I don't party
I just can’t believe what I’m reading. The signs were there from the beginning, he’s never going to change because he knows you’ll take him for how he is. Please look into leaving him, for the sake of your self-esteem and for your son.
@Emily thank you
@Jana thank you
@Danni thank you
@Umera thank you
@Rori thank you
@Rebecca thank you
@Molly thank you
You are worth more than however this person is making you feel. You deserve more than this.