I just really want a friend

At times I feel so lonely and stressed I wish I had someone to talk to but I’m all alone. 21 mother of 2. No active fathers. I feel like a failure. I don’t matter to anyone but my children. I tend to never make close relationships with anyone. I feel like I’m not worth knowing no matter how much I try. I’m one of those people that’s only a “beneficial” friend. I’m a DV survivor and I have a lot of bad thoughts. I’ve been doing everything I can to clear my head.