Woman at work

Ever since my fiancé started a new job he had this woman add him on LinkedIn at first I saw her and thought she was gorgeous which stressed me out enough. I’ve had severe postpartum anxiety and depression so my insecurities are high. He said she was one of his interviewers and wanted to add her back because he didn’t want to look bad and wanted to get hired at the time which I understood but he still unadded her for me. She then requests to follow him 4 additional times after being denied MULTIPLE TIMES. He says she always tries to talk to him, comes to his desk to sit there and ask personal questions, tries to sit next to him, and repeatedly tries to add him or message him about personal problems. I told him this made me uncomfortable because now he’s telling me how she’s all over him trying to be close and whatever but now he’s telling me he’s new and doesn’t want to stick out. I said whenever she comes to you with a personal issue just tell her you’re really busy with work. This is what he says “I don’t want to be rude like another guy here” “When she comes and talks to me I use it as an excuse to take a break from work so if I get in trouble I can blame her” “I don’t even like talking to her” “She’s so annoying shes not good at her job” etc If he hated talking to her so much he wouldn’t talk to her right?? He promised me he would start turning her away when she came to him for personal questions but still continues to do it. He’s never cheated before and I don’t know what to think. It hurts that he keeps putting her feelings over mine, he cares that she’ll be hurt if he stops talking to her as much but doesn’t care if his soon to be wife and mother of his daughter is home uncomfortable with it. Any advice or thoughts are appreciated

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Honestly in my experience the more they deny it and say they "Don't like them/don't like talking to them" the more they actually do like them. I've recently started a new job, very small team and the main guy I work with is great. I told my partner about him and the fact we get along, have a laugh etc and it makes the shift enjoyable - because I have nothing to hide and he's exactly the same, he has people at work who he's friends with. But this is just my personal experience and he might be being honest, just depends how much you trust him really.

He's being open with you and telling you a lot. I don't think he would be doing that if it was an issue You can't control his behaviour. You've told him how you feel and it's up to him what he does with that. You need to consider why you're uncomfortable. Is it him? Is it you? The woman doesn't matter, if your partner is loyal then her intentions are irrelevant. And I see his point. He's the new guy. He's trying to fit in. Ignoring someone would be very rude. It's not him putting someone else's feelings over yours. That said he can be an adult and have an open conversation with her about maintaining professional boundaries

I will also add to that though, me and my partner are able to be this way because we create that safe space with each other. If he was to kick off about this colleague though and say I had to turn him away/not talk to him, I probably wouldn't feel like I could be honest with him about it, so your reaction/response matters too.

@Alex I can see that and I appreciate how open he is with me but I don’t just get upset for talking to her. He comes home and complains about her sitting next to him and talking to him all the time so I tell him just to say he’s busy but he doesn’t want to??? So it just confuses me

@Aimee I never said ignore her I just told him if she comes to him with a personal issue to say he’s busy working since she always comes to him while he’s busy and he says she always distracts him so he can’t work 100% so I told him to tell her when he’s busy and then he says he doesn’t want to do that so isn’t he allowing this to happen? Most of the things he’s told me I had to trick out of him by saying I already knew some how or I heard whatever so he tells me but he never just lets me know something

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