Has anyone else experienced genuine pregnancy/postpartum rage? Like actual RAGE.
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@kat and I think that’s another part— the only help I get with child care is from my husband and he wants to be the “fun” parent after working 10-12 hour shifts. I get he is exhausted, and I am too. I don’t have any type of relationship with my mom (no contact for over a decade), and I never get help outside of my husband And don’t get me wrong— this burnt out and “rage” has nothing to do with my daughter. I adore being her mother. I love being a parent to her. She is perfect and precious in every way. It’s just so frustrating being the default parent and the other person has the audacity to look at you struggling and so “nah, I’m good”, but then get gold stars from other people whenever we go out and he’s holding the baby. I don’t know. He’s not a horrible partner or a horrible person, it’s just I would love some help and support
Sleep deprivation = torture and can really mess you up. I’m so sorry he didn’t help you when you truly needed it :( maybe ask a family member to come over so you can take a nap 🤗
@Jen It is definitely something 😅 I am so so so tired lol
Yes, I've experienced it too (although your reason was far more valid than mine). I got frustrated with my hair for not working with me ( needed it in a very specific style) so I threw my brush down and broke it 🫠! We all make mistakes and let it get the besr of us sometimes, but it does get better!
I’ve broken a door frame due to slamming the door shut with my foot for similar reasons. The shame spiral is worse than the active angry feeling
Yes! 1000% yes! Put it this way if my family see me with a hammer they have to remind me about the day lol. I didn’t hurt anyone just to clarify 😂 but a wall did get pretty damaged due to pure rage after an adult decided to single out an continue to bully my 6 year old yet again. Mummy instincts, pure rage and pregnancy hormones mixed well that day 😂 funny enough they no longer picked on my child after that lol
I haven't experienced this, but that's because I have a supportive partner, reading this, and the way your partner treats you actually made me feel angry, and I dont even know you. He's discusting imo!! Just wow, I'm flabbergasted that he didn't help I'd want to leave him, he's the problem not you
Absolutely have felt pregnancy rage on more than one occasion mostly triggered by my partner being selfish but also for minute reasons and it’s not easy in either case. It’s difficult because while you know it’s wrong, the desire to rage out is stronger than the desire to calm yourself down (at least for me,) and I have not yet figured that out. What HAS worked however is identifying the buildup and taking breaks before it gets to full on seeing red. Your partner definitely needs to step it up, I’d have reacted the same way in your situation /:
Yes, but also, how dare he do that. That would piss me off. Regardless of being postpartum or not.
If my husband acted like that I’d have done the same kick the door lol, girl don’t feel bad, he should feel bad his lack of help pushed you to your limits! xx
Unfortunately😭 14 months pp and it feels like there’s no end in sight🙃
You aren’t alone I relate to the rage pregnancy changed me more than I expected. I am not the girl I was before pregnancy and I mourn her all the time. I hope one day I can feel normal again.
First off. This was me, I was 4 months postpartum and found out I was pregnant again. Not only did I have PP I was pregnant. I became a raging angry bitch to everyone around me. And the lack of sleep didn’t help me either. Yes you are right, you should control yourself and I’m glad you’re taking responsibility for how you responded and reacted. But partly it is also your husband’s fault. He should have gotten his ass up. You were begging him. You lost control. It’s happened to me before. He could have helped. He could have been a team player. And I hope from this experience you guys had can come to an understanding that you both are in this for the long run. No matter sleep or a damn clock. Parenting and helping your partner is more important than sleep in the early months especially while pregnant. You didn’t get pregnant by yourself. He played a part in that. I am also no contact with my mother. 3 years so far. Have no help from my side of the family. Only husband and his family.
In my experience the rage and anger does go away. After I had my son, I started getting back on my feet and calming down. I was postpartum again but controlled myself better. My husband was on my team this time, it was better all around. A nice long conversation with your husband has to happen or things won’t get easier or better. At least if he hears you, understands you, and makes an effort to support you in this hard time. It will get easier. I’m on edge again now cuz I’m pregnant and 3rd time. But honestly. I know these hormones already. There easier to control 😂😂😂 I haven’t lost it in this pregnancy with 2 toddlers running around…. Yet. I’m 7 months now.
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Honestly you were still nicer than I would have been. 😂 but honestly you’re not alone. We have all been there at some point. Don’t feel bad. Get a new door frame and a new husband.
It can happen with all the hormones and i have seen more women open to talking about it on social media which makes us feel like we aren’t alone ❤️ it happens with lack of sleep and lack of help. Some partners are like that with working, and i would just try to explain that you are both tired, both working hard and some days you need help too. Your job is 24/7, his is 10-12hrs so when do you get a break? I definitely feel like a different person since having my second and it will get better with time. I was just telling my husband I either need to start running or meditating to help clear some headspace because I dont like feeling the rage and the guilt makes me cry about how my toddler sees me/my attitude. Keep taking deep breaths, and just talk with your husband/apologize for the action and hopefully grow from here. Men just don’t know what we go through post partum/how we feel alone/ how TIRED we are
If my husband did what yours did I’d probably have reacted the same way even without the hormones 😬
Sounds warranted to me 😂😎
been there. i threw my pump bottles across the room (and broke one) out of pure frustration and overwhelm a few months PP. it sucks and it makes you feel like shit
Thank you, everyone! It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in these intense feelings and that it does get better!
It’ll get better faster if your hubby wasn’t acting like a second child 🫶
it took a visit to the psych ward for me, because having no breaks, and no help ever made it really really hard for me to function without being awful to everyone and everything. i’m genuinely surprised our neighbors didn’t call the police on us on multiple occasions 🙃. it took 4 different meds to find one that worked and even then took adjusting my dose a few times (my psychiatrist even thinking i need to be at a 40mg instead of the regular 20) but it helped, and made living through my day to day a lot easier. but i do think the husband problem needs to be addressed too, because even people who work all day come home and take care of their kids. and so even if he were reaaaallly tired and having to wake up soon, he wasn’t unaware that you were struggling. and it isn’t fair to expect you to do everything just bc you’re mom