Cheating Partner

I'm just here to vent. I made the mistake of jumping from one relationship immediately into the next - I was unhappy in my marriage so I ended things and quickly found myself head over heels in love with who I thought was the man of my dreams. He was everything I didn't get from my ex-husband and more. I thought life with him would have been a fairytale come true. One endless romantic life where every day was filled with joy. And my God - the chemistry we had together - I have never felt with anyone else in my life. I fell fast and hard. I let myself get carried away, and after about 6-7 months together, I got pregnant. I was excited, and he was too. At that point, we had had a couple of fights, but I thought it was nothing I couldn't live with. I knew at that point he was a very insecure and jealous man, but that was okay with me because I loved him enough to go the extra mile to prove my loyalty to him and reassure him when he needed (even though he still always doubted me). I tried to move in with him, and the honeymoon phase quickly evaporated. We fought constantly, and I felt like I was walking on eggshells. I could never express any concerns or issues to him without him twisting it on me to make me the bad guy. Finally, I moved back home and ended our trial of living together. I still wanted to be with him badly, but I wasn't willing to give up my independence to be with him yet. I needed to see some improvement in our relationship before I'd be ready to take that next step again. Then, the infidelity began to show up. After a few weeks of toxic fighting, I discovered he was talking to other girls behind my back. He apologized and told me they didn't mean anything, and he instantly regretted it as soon as he did it. We started couples therapy, and I gave him another chance. I thought things were going well between us. The fighting stopped for the most part, and I thought we were making real progress in therapy. After almost 2 months of what felt like improvements, we took a trip together for our anniversary (we lived pretty far apart and didn't see each other very often). During the trip, he seemed a little off to me. I got suspicious and looked through his phone. I found some weird things, like a fake GPS app, but no solid evidence that he had cheated. I confronted him, and he explained away everything. He even got pissed at me for having looked through his phone and for demanding he delete some of the girls in his Snapchat (I found he had over a hundred girls on there). I gave him the benefit of the doubt because I couldn't prove he actually cheated, and I was so eager and desperate for our relationship to finally get back to the fairytale magic I felt at the start. With our baby on the way- all I kept thinking was how amazing it would be to have this beautiful family with the charming, sweet, and kind man I fell in love with. That's what always pulled me back into forgiving him. Well, fast forward another 6 weeks after the trip, and we start fighting again. This time, he starts accusing me of cheating on him, and he refuses to believe me when I try to plead to him that I never have. I tried to ask him to ask me anything. I tried to get him to video call me so I could share my screen with him right then and there so he could see for himself anything he wanted to see in my phone. But, instead, he kept saying he didn't want to talk about it, and he believed that me trying so hard to prove I wasn't cheating was proof that I was. I went crazy. I started screen recording everything in my phone - even all my Google nest video notifications in the past 3 weeks so he could see that I wasn't hiding anything. I sent him the videos, and I just got radio silence. He told me to stop contacting him, and I just absolutely lost it. I couldn't understand how he could accuse me of something with no shred of evidence and not even have the desire to look. The next day, I decided I'd give us one more shot. I started begging him to come to therapy. I told him I forgave him and I loved him and I promised that I'd just listen to him. I even got the therapist to promise that she'd hold me accountable to really listening to him (he always accused me of not listening). She had told me on multiple occasions in private that he has unresolved childhood trauma and he wouldn't get better until he faced it. I thought I could be the one to support him on that journey. I thought that I could convince him to face his problems, and I could give him all of the love and patience that he would need to heal. So I begged him to come to therapy to give us one more try, and I was ready to give up on all the needs that I had that he wasn't fulfilling. I was ready to set aside the desire I had for a supportive partner to help me get through the last few months of my pregnancy so I could just focus on his every need and want so he would finally start to trust me and stop constantly doubting that I loved him. Whenever he got angry, he accused me of not loving him, not caring, being selfish, not listening, never being willing to compromise, never apologizing. None of those things were true, yet I had internalized some of that, and I was always trying to prove to him that I really did care, love, prioritize his needs, etc. Well, he was mostly silent even after I sent texts, emails, and voice-mails begging him not to give up on us. Then I saw he blocked me on social media, and I just knew he didn't have the kindness in his heart to want to apologize and repair from this fight. I had been thinking he was simply starting this fight and hurling this absurd accusation at me because he probably wanted an excuse to go sleep with or talk to another girl. So, I messaged the two girls I had caught him talking to behind my back before. One of them replied and told me they had slept together about 2 months ago, just a few weeks before I saw him for our anniversary. He had used the fake GPS app that same day (I knew he had opened the app that day, but couldn't prove what he did when I first found it). He swore to me dozens of times that he never cheated, promised me he would never talk to those girls again. The girl he'd slept with was a coworker. She told me over the past 2 months he's been asking her over and over to hang out. He told her we had broken up. I messaged his ex, who he has 2 children with. Her and I had met and talked before when I met their kids and we had a good rapport. I wanted to stay in touch so my daughter could meet her 2 older siblings even if he wasn't in the picture anymore. We talked, and she finally told me that during their 5 year relationship he constantly cheated on her. She said she didn't tell me before because she genuinely thought he changed and was a better person and didn't want to bad mouth him because she hoped he was going to do things right this time with me. When he and I first began dating, he told me multiple times that he had only ever cheated on 1 girl in his life and that he only did it because he knew he was going to break up with her (and he said it wasn't his baby momma). Also, this coworker told me that they went out together for drinks wayyy back like when him and I had only been together for about 5 months. This was when him and I were still in the honeymoon phase and things were good between us. He has lied to me the entire relationship. What's worse is that at 29 weeks pregnant, I think I've had a whole whopping 3 good weeks where I wasn't stressed or left crying over some fight with him. He's put me under constant stress and I am so afraid of the effects it will have on my baby. I'm terrified that I'll end up with complications caused by stress or that she'll have a hard time bonding with me when she's born. Not to mention the challenges that come with being a new parent doing everything alone and having her grow up and not have a relationship with her father. I'm also scared of post partum depression. I'm terrified that it's going to hit me like a ton of bricks and I'm not going to be able to be the highly capable mother my baby needs me to be. Anyway, if you've made it this far, I'd love to hear from you.