Elective C section - will I regret it

The short version is I have been offered to have an elective c section due to the level of pain I am in with PGP, my mental health / PTSD in relation to previous health problems and experiences in hospital. I have been really struggling physically and mentally recently (38 weeks) and now beginning to have panic attacks (relative minor ones) and getting extremely emotional. I am worried if I go for the planned c section that I will regret it. Regret that I didn’t try and missed out on something / an important experience. That I have let myself down in some way. I also feel like I’m being weak in some way and embarrassed. And worried that I am opting for major surgery ‘unnecessarily’ and that I will also struggle mentally with the recovery from a c section and the fact that I will feel less in control over being able to care for baby when she’s here, due to the physical struggles that come with recovery. Please be kind - a women on the edge here ❤️🙏
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Does your hospital offer birth psychology? I was scheduled for an elective due to PTSD/MH (ended up an emergency). It’s what was necessary for my wellbeing and would have benefitted my child. There are pros and cons for both options and I wouldn’t say one makes you weaker than the other. It all boils down to what’s best for you and baby which is a safe delivery however that happens. I would advise discussing with the professionals in your care as I found this really helpful and everyone was agreeable an elective was the best option for me.

@Lily hi thanks for relying. I’m not sure (in the UK NHS) but I have another appointment with consultant tomorrow and will find out / talk to them more about it.

Only speaking from my experience, I had an "emergency" c section when I'm sure I could have had her naturally, but they pressed me for it. And I don't want to scare you, but it was a horrible experience for me, and now I have birth trauma. It was a hard recovery for a week or two, but in the end, everything was fine, and I got through it. I would push for as natural/less interference as possible. The more interference, the more complications can arise.

I had elective C-section because I asked for it. All went great, absolutely no regrets. Next to me in hospital there was a girl after natural birth and she was in bigger pain than me.

@Danielle this is only one side of the argument - the question requires a balanced view so the other side of your argument is that in an elective or emergency section there is everyone around you in theatre just there for you on hand in case they are needed. At a natural delivery in the uk (don’t know where the author is from) you give birth with just a midwife and a nurse and a doctor pops in and out when needed but isn’t sole there for just you. If you want the certainty (as I do) that if something went wrong people are there to help you and you alone then a section is a good option. Less intrusion doesn’t always mean a smoother birth. But I have never had that urge to experience giving birth naturally and I know I won’t regret not doing it - that’s something only you can answer personally.

Do you have a perinatal mental health service in your area/are you already under them? This is defo the sort of thing the mental health specialist midwives would be able to talk through with you. I'm sure it feels like a huge decision that you must get right, but there's no right answer. You can't predict childbirth, no matter how comprehensive your plan is!! Your safety (physical and mental) as well as baby's is paramount. Personally I gave birth naturally in a midwife led unit (no doctors) as I wanted to avoid hospital for various reasons. Best decision I've ever made and the whole experience was genuinely magical. But it could have easily become traumatic or required emergency transfer to hospital. I knew that going in and accepted the risk, but that choice might not be right for everyone. No one can tell you what's right for you to do. You can only listen to the professionals' advice and others' experiences and make your own mind up. Good luck ❤️

Absolutely no regrets from me, in fact I’m having my second section next month as I enjoyed the experience so much. I didn’t struggle with recovery and a baby either, electives and emergencies are very different experiences and recoveries xx

As someone who’s had 2 elective c sections, don’t convince yourself that you’re going to have a tough recovery, that was absolutely not my experience (or anyone I know) I was pretty much back to normal within 10days both times, driving, putting toddler in high chair (they tell you not to of course but paternity leave is only 2 weeks so what you gonna do 🤷🏼‍♀️) Go in with positive vibes, pick your playlist, have skin to skin and dad cut the cord, keep up with your pain meds after and get up and walking as soon as you can, you’ll be fine xx

I had an ‘emergency’ c-section (after 50 hours I was just done and baby was starting to show signs of distress). I had been really worried about getting one but honestly it was fine. The actual procedure was relaxed, I didn’t feel a thing. The recovery was not exactly pleasant, but not as bad as I thought and by 2 weeks post surgery I was pain free. I would do an elective c-section if I went again.

Let’s be honest - there is no easy way to get a 3-4kg human being from inside to outside your body. Both options are challenging and both options are a good idea if they’re going to be the safest way to get your baby here. I’d really encourage you to prioritise your mental health as you weigh your options because - in my experience - there’s plenty of support for new mums physically and the health system understands how to look after your body, but there’s less consideration for the mental wellbeing of mothers and fewer resources to support it. Do the thing that will fortify you mentally. Your body will be okay either way.

I made decisions to have elective c section just because with a first one I did natural birth. When they say it is amazing , and your body can do it, no it is not. Nothing amazing to be dying for 26 hrs, and no one care because it is natural process they offer you stuff and make a jokes oh you can give birth like this for the rest of the week… experience which I had with a night shift nurses was horrible, so my decision Was to have elective c section and even if i will have to go trough the hell at the moment I think better I will ask for support at home instead of looking for support at hospital… after magic natural birth they kept me in a hospital for 5 days let me out, and at day 7 midwife prescribed me antibiotics because I was having infection…. So sorry but I am here to support you for elective c section, speak with your family who can take time of to help you and be sure your family will look after you 100 times better then the nurse with 14 hrs shift on minimum wage…

My c section recover was actually easier then my VBAC physically. That being said I emotionally and mentally did much better after my vaginal birth. I feel that because I’m prone to anxiety and depression that not having the hormones hormoning naturally was hard on me. I think that any one struggling with mental health or a history of it should have automatic support post c-section just in case.

I would say you definitely have nothing to be embarrassed about and there is no easy way to birth a tiny human, take some time and discuss pros and cons. I haven’t had a c section however there is nothing wrong with it if your health whether it’s physical or mental warrants it. If you’re worried about missing out skin to skin time getting to bf as soon as possible or any other experiences check with your hospital and ensure your team knows your wishes many places will try to facilitate these things for you. Whichever way you choose just know you’re a rock star that brought your child into this world however it ends up happening.

My planned c section was wonderful, I opted for a gentle c section so I was able to have music playing, my surgery team took such great care of me and baby. I’m a week into recovery and I’m getting around pretty much 85% back to normal. Stay on top of your meds, get up and walk when you can and hydrate, hydrate

I can only speak from personal experience. My first was naturally birthed, back to back, it was a long and horrendous labour with lasting health impacts and trauma, recovery took weeks (hopefully this wouldn't be the experience for you). Due to this, I had my second with an elective c section. I met with the anaesthetist and surgeon beforehand, and was still terrified (despite their professionalism and reassurance). So much so that I considered having it under general anaesthetic (although I decided against that at the last moment). The experience itself was beautiful for me. I was with my husband, we had the option to play music, it lasted probably less than 30 minutes and I was able to enjoy and engage with my baby immediately (which i couldn't after the natural birth). There will be different stories and opinions whomever you speak to, nobody can say what is right for you and you should never feel bad or inadequate for whatever choice you make, but I would always properly consider medical advice.Good luckx

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Ive had two c-sections—the first was an emergency one after laboring almost 24 hours and the second was a planned c-section. I have no regrets on the second one and I’m thankful I decided to go that route. It was so much more relaxed and I didn’t have the fear I had during my emergency one—during my emergency one I was so scared that something was going to happen to my baby and it was just an awful feeling. During my planned one I was able to relax and be in the moment. I also felt like recovery wasn’t terrible—just make sure you take the stool softeners! Ultimately the most important thing is that you and baby are safe, so however you need to give birth to make that a reality, is how you should. With my emergency c-section, I had an amazing birth plan and went the entire time without an epidural because I was set on going natural but it didn’t play out that way. One thing is for certain, when you give birth even the best made plans can fall apart and flexibility is your friend.

I had a planned c section due to health complications and honestly it was the best most beautiful experience. My ob and midwives are walking angels on this earth. Also known when baby was arriving reduced alot of anxiety for me. I knew my partner would be off work and home. I knew when our last weekend together was before baby arrived. We walked talked got coffee had dinner and organised the last few things. Lovely experience. Good luck mama

First of all I definitely agree with others that you do not need to feel embarrassed about it and you are taking care of yourself in the way you need to so whatever you decide is completely acceptable. Do you have a partner/someone to help you 24/7 in the first couple weeks? That part is pretty critical after a c section.

I think it’s impossible to tell how you’ll feel. I had an emergency C-section with my first. I had to have it but even so I have absolutely no regrets and I’m having an elective next week with my second. I don’t think I missed out on anything, I don’t think vaginal birth is an important experience at all personally. Being a parent is an important experience, how they got here I couldn’t care less lol that’s one single moment in my life and makes no difference. I see posts often that people wish they’d had a vaginal birth or feel bad about having a section and I don’t relate to that at all tbh!

Doing what’s best for your mental health is the right choice. I wanted an elective c-section for my own sanity, but couldn’t have one - I had the natural childbirth everybody wants, totally drug free, no tearing, etc etc and I hated every second. It was not magical, it was just as awful as I thought it would be and I nearly died a week later from an infection from leftover blood clots. A planned c section generally has an easier recovery than emergency c section, and it gives you time to plan out help just in case you need time to recover. Doing what’s best for you if you’re in pain and suffering isn’t letting anyone down or being weak 🫶

I had an elective section due to baby position (breech), it was a lovely exciting experience. And over so fast the baby is out within first 15 minutes and especially if your naturally anxious or worried it is nice it’s so planned and predictable. The healing wasn’t as bad as i expected sore for 48 hours but each day got better and walking around slowly next day, each day getting stronger. But day 7 felt okay but carried on taking it slow and painkillers for about 2 weeks. I’m pregnant again now and had decision vbac vs section, don’t get me wrong those feelings of missing out on labour feeling/ not being able to do it naturally did play on my mind and did make me debate a vbac. But honestly for me the section was the right decision and after hearing risks vs benefits for second baby I’m very happy to have another section. Obviously ultimately it’s your decision but from my experience I felt it was so nice and I’d imagine c different to an emergency section as u can mentally prepar

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