Power Move

Me. ✋️ 🙋‍♀️

Nothing wrong with that! A lot of people but men especially, use sex as a work around for feelings. If that's good then everything else must be right?? That's not always the case though

I would say it is a cheap move/childish move/unhelpful move rather (and I am never blunt). Power move only if you want to break things further between you that is and if you want to hold all the supposed power (if it means you hold any at all of course) instead of reaching a mutual understanding of each other and care, love and respect for each other. What if your husband posted to a group of women or men but I would like to ask out of interest, a group of women... I am thinking of stopping all the dates with my wife, flowers to the door, presents just because and no more compliments or putting the bins out or doing the dishes until some problems are discussed in the marriage. What do you think that would do? Further break the two of you? Further upset him? Distance him when he sounds like he still wants to be close? I read or heard this thing somewhere that men are simple (not dumb) creatures well with sometimes complex characters but generally they will be where they want to be, no amount of coaxing,

manipulation or control would ever cut it. Men do what they want and they stay where they want to stay typically unless they are trapped in an abusive situation. This means all is not lost unless what is going is toxic or is something you just can't get past, there is probably a more sensible, adult, tactful way to take the bull by the horns so to speak and just face it head on and tell him what you need and that you want to hear what he needs as most likely he will have something to say on the matter probably, he might just be comfortable the way it is currently, never addressing the issues that he might not even see. Of course I'm guessing we don't know your husband. Best of luck with your conversations with a plural. One big chat isn't enough and will be too idealistic, ambitious and overwhelming as I'm guessing there will be upset and maybe tears if you've been holding back for so long. Start with simply I love us and don't want to lose you or lose myself, please sit with me and hear me out.

(Rather than "We need to talk")

My friend was in a situation sort of like this. Their relationship was a terrible match - they didn’t have the same values, they clashed all the time and were both miserable. But because they had sex all the time she mistakenly thought the relationship was worth continuing… Unfortunately she wasted 10 years with him - her entire 20s - before seeing the light and leaving. She lost a lot in the split and also felt a mad rush to find another guy to couple up with so she could have kids before her mid 30s