Advice

how old is baby? and how much time is he putting in with you on a daily basis to help take care of you and baby both?

@Sarah he’s 7 weeks and I see my bf like 3 times a week. he only does what I tell him to do, he never offers anything. sometimes I’ll have to ask for things multiple times before he pulls through. but then other days he’s super amazing and helpful so I’m just confused.

Aww I'm sorry. That sounds really tough! 😢

Well if he's too scared of commitment then maybe you have to look at the relationship and ask yourself if you wanna deal with this for the rear of your life. With baby being 7 weeks old it's the best time to figure out plan b. I'm always here love

Sounds like you deserve so much more in a love relationship 💔 I get that it’s hard with a new baby - but sounds like he isn’t in it. Maybe if you distance yourself it’ll give him room to step it up at least as a dad - but really, you and everyone else deserves amazing love and I’m a big cheerleading for going off and finding it because I found mine after leaving a relationship that was making me feel like you described. I was going to therapy thinking I was depressed and realized it was my relationship - not me

so you're basically a single parent right now. that's absurd. chances are you're feeling this way because you're not feeling supported by the one person who is supposed to support you the most right now, and your feelings are totally valid! he's not afraid of committing to you, he's afraid of committing to giving up his lifestyle and his freeddom to be a full-time parent. and this gives you the shit end of the stick because now you're left to do so much on your own while still recovering from birthing a baby that BOTH of yall made, and you're feeling resentment towards him that's only going to get stronger. my partner was wonderfully supportive when I was newly pp, and I still resented him because I was taking on so much more of the newborn care. I can only imagine how you can be feeling. is he staying over those 3 days or are you doing overnights completely by yourself as well?

Do better and be happy girl

@Sarah girl this makes me feel sm better. i usually convince him to stay with me at least once but he always wants me to come to his house which is such a pain, especially when i have the baby room at my place and he just had a little pack and play. trying to lug a sick newborn out in the cold just so he can sleep in his own bed is fucking awful. not to mention I cannot stand his mom and she adds soooo much extra stress.

@Morgan thank you, hopefully i figure something out!!

@Magen literally😭 thank you

@Kamree nooo no no girl. this is literally unacceptable. you've got to be firm with him and say that you feel left to be a single parent until it's convenient for him, and that if he can't step up and be what he needs you to be when YOU need him to be, then you're gonna end things and just put him on child support. I know it would be a huge hassle but at least you'd have some financial support happening (hopefully). it sounds like he didn't want the baby and now he's avoiding his part of the responsibility for them. and the fact that his mother is allowing him to be such a neglectful pos is also gross. I'm sorry you're in this situation. he's definitely not even meeting you halfway here and if you aren't firm with him then things will never change.

@Sarah girl do yk me???? you’re hitting my situation spot on 🤣 taking all of your advice forever now bc u have to by psychic.

During pregnancy and postpartum and atleast a year after the baby is born it's gone test the waters of y'all relationship 😂 you love him and the connection is still there just hang on and try your best to spice things up like sleepovers , wear lingerie , movie nights , play games , flirt with each other like high schoolers 😂😂 keep it spicy 🔥 that's all y'all just got comfortable and y'all stagnant , keep y'all relationship interesting I've been with my highschool sweet heart for 8+ years and I can truly say without the spices in our relationship we probably would've been called quits 😂💯

@Omaria he doesn't exactly deserve her body if he's not even doing the bare minimum for her as a brand new mother. the onus is NOT hers to bear here. he needs to step the hell up.

@Kamree feel free to shoot me a message if you ever wanna talk it out! 🫶

@Sarah she said she doesn't even have a reason. his presence alone agitates her not that he's doing anything and if she's not feeling well mentally most don't comprehend that because they don't know what it's like so I'm sure im his eyes she just have a bad attitude not understanding she's actually going through a mental war and you can't fault him for that and that may even contribute to why he doesn't want to live with her as well thinking he don't want to be around that type of energy. Men don't process situations like women. We are deep thinkers. Most men are simple and see things as it appears. So this advice was looking at the situation from a bigger picture rather than one sided. This is what's best for their relationship if they still want it and she even mentioned being bored. I'm not the kind of person to tell people what they wanna hear I keep it transparent she came here for real advice not no gaslighter. She wants her man she just upset right now and that's how she'll be able to keep him 💯

@Omaria 😂😂 nah it's got to come from him first. he's not doing fuck all for her. it's not up to her to "keep her man" it's up to him to be a man worth keeping. she's got a whole ass newborn that she's caring for basically by herself and you think she should spice up her sex life a week after she's even cleared for sex? that's some crazyyy thought process there. I can ABSOLUTELY fault him for not knowing how her mental state is because he's only ever around her 3 times a week! you'd think a new dad would want to be more supportive of his girlfriend and newborn baby. he's gotta grow up, period. she's bored and resentful because he sucks, straight up.

I can only respond to what she posted I dnt kno her business 😂💯 you mention info that's not even in her post and not your place to tell me😂 so stop telling people business. we're all just trying to help and support her the best we can so your snarky comments about my "thought process" is unnecessary. U just don't comprehend I was only responding to what she posted without background knowledge, she posted descriptions of his presence agitating her and even stated "not a particular reason" and then said she "bored" and ADMIT She doesn't even know what's wrong with herself and doesn't highlight anything that he's doing that's considered "wrong" and only shaded him for his preference to not live with her it's hard to give adequate advice towards half the story for example: peanut say she still pregnant but her post say they just had a baby not stating how old the baby is so how I suppose to know she can't have sex. I'm aware there's a waiting period for sex IM A MOM duh! 🤣 We're done here😎

@Omaria you must not have read her comments where she gives all of this info then bookie bc it's all there. you're right, we're done here since you can't be bothered to do the bare minimum either