New baby

How do you deal with your child’s father having a baby? I just recently found out that my kids dad is having a baby with his gf. I’m honestly angry I’m angry for my own “selfish” way bc in my eyes how can he move on and have another baby when 1. He treated me the worst when I was pregnant 2. He just barely stepped up to being a father 3. We are barely getting by as co parents. I’m honestly so angry for the past 3 1/2 years I have been begging him to be a good father and active father I feel like I’ve bent over backwards to basically shield my child from ever seeing her dad as the bad guy . And the other thing that made me so angry is that for weeks on end my child has been saying that she’s having a baby brother and that his gf is pregnant. I had asked him multiple times if she is he would say no and tell my kids to my face and hers that she’s a liar countless times and I would get her in trouble bc she was “lying” but come to find out she wasn’t and that she’s due in December. I’m really trying not to get my feelings in the way of being a good co parent , but I’m so angry all I want to do is yell and scream . Also I understand it’s not my business but it’s my child that’s part of there business I would have just liked to be told so we can all sit and communicate and come to some understanding about how we are going to do this bc this is a big change for my child and I know first hand how it feels to have a sibling from “stepmom” it’s not the greatest feeling at times. And I already see a difference in my child like acting out, crying screaming for no reason and hitting these are I feel like signs of trying to get more attention. Idk I feel like now I’m just rambling but how do you go about trying to coparent and how to try to have a conversation with my daughter about her emotions and how she’s feeling about everything happening? She’s only 4 but she understands what’s going on

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No disrespect to you, but did you ask your baby if daddy gf is having a baby ? I mean I just feel like, a 4 yr old is being in the middle of grown folks problems & issues . I mean she’s still a baby herself, & trust & believe she’ll adjust, if mommy & daddy are civilized to one another . I don’t quite know why your child’s father, lied to you about his girlfriend being pregnant. Because honestly that’s not your concern. As long as he treats your little right,& do what he supposed to do for her, that would be my only concern . I’m not trying to be rude or anything. But the new gf,that’s her headache now when dealing with him . He’s your ex for reason

Wow this is intense! I want to validate every emotion you are feeling! Anger concern fear pain jealousy (that he didn’t pull it together for you and his daughter). My ex recently started dating someone and that threw me into a tail spin and i thought how will I feel if he has kids. NOT GOOD. All I can suggest is trying not to get ahead of yourself. Be with your baby girl in the moment. Try not to take on too much. One breath at a time

Girllllll we literally have the issue like identical my bd gf is due in December probably any day now he kept her pregnancy hiding for months even though I already knew. I wanted him to tell me. They are having a girl and my baby is 4 as well. His a peace of 💩 dosnt help financially. I didn’t get to enjoy my pregnancy especially since she my only baby for now. And watch him treat his gf the way I wanted to be treated sucks. Even though I don’t him treating no woman like that. But it’s like damn I didn’t deserve that at all when I did nothing to you. He also haven’t even called my baby for the thanksgiving break didn’t even get her haven’t got her in a month only seen her twice at school only because his gf kids go to her school too smh. I am happy that I’m finally in a amazing relationship now (it’s been 4 years since Iv dated) and i He’s great with my baby it just sucks sometimes that we get treated like crap and deserved so much during our pregnancy and didn’t get it at the time

At the end of the day when they tell people about their baby is their choice. We didn’t tell my husbands ex for as long as we could not tell because she’s a psycho and didn’t want her causing more issues than she already did. I get your child is involved because that’s their sibling but 4 year olds act out. I get your angry but he’s allowed to be happy just because he wasn’t the right one for you doesn’t mean he can’t change for the better for someone else If my ex went and found someone and they had a kid I’d be happy for him I wish he’d find a girlfriend Just try to do your best to be present for your child and what dad chooses to share and not share it’s something you’re going to have to accept

@Jan I agree the child shouldn’t be in the middle

@Tashina yea of course I’m not mad at the fact that he’s having a child I’m mad at the fact that he is barely being a father to our daughter. And I get keeping it a secret but for her to go over to her dads and they’re constantly talking to her about the baby and saying it’s her baby brother and what not but when I question it the first thing he said to me was she’s lying and that’s she a liar that’s what made me more mad then anything . In my opinion I don’t think I’m a psycho ex I know how I was with him and the respect I have shown him as the father of my child. But for him to continually call her a liar is what was my reaching point. But at the end of day my child is what is important to me and she’s already question if her dad loves her if her dad is gonna love the baby more etc. so it would have been nice to just straight up say yes she’s pregnant let’s talk about how the dynamic is going to change and how we can go about it for my child

@Jan yes of course I never want to put my child in any situation that is for adults. I always try to be civilized with him let him know my concerns about anything and everything with our child. And yes I would ask her bc she would say for weeks that she was and I question dad and he said no that she’s a liar and that she’s lying. I think that’s what I’m more angry about bc I would get her in trouble and take away tablet tv time toys bc she was “lying” and for him to not even apologize to me but to her especially

@Nicole yes I’m honestly trying very hard to not let my emotions get to me bc I don’t want to be look at as a “bitter bm”. It’s just the point of him lying to me and calling my daughter a liar. I’ve come accept that he’s having another baby I talk to my daughter about her having a siblings and try to let her know it’s gonna be different. But I feel like it has to come from both mom dad and the gf. And not try to be sneaky about it. But I feel like I’m the only adult and parent bc it is going to be a transition from having dads all attention to half attention

@Nalani you should address it wit him but at the end of the day it was up to them when they wanted you to know

@Tashina I don’t understand what you mean? she did address it with the father… he was the one who said it was a lie. Yes it is up to people when they tell people about pregnancy. However. Her daughter was made aware of the situation, therefore her mum has a right to prepare her daughter for the new sibling. That’s the unfortunate truth when you have step mum/dad. I have a stepson and when I was pregnant we didn’t tell him anything until we were comfortable with the mum knowing… because the matter of the fact is I could never expect him to keep anything from her. For them to accuse the baby of lying (knowing it is true) is very evil in my opinion.

@Rochelle she needs to address the child being called a liar with him

Girl this is me now...my BD back in February wanted to get back together and I said no because he cheated a lot and everything financially was on me and he popped up "hey I'm expecting another daughter" this new girl got pregnant 2 months after I rejected him as she's due soon....bought an apartment with her and is playing step dad as well to her other kid when he never put this much effort for us.... Co-parenting has now gotten harder as we were struggling in the beginning before all this happened that I decided to take his ass to court because ain't no way he wanna pull, "I'm buying her things now" when I've been providing things for our daughter since I found out I was pregnant. This new girl also wanna be petty posting things like "girl I ain't the problem maybe you should be in your healing era😂"

@Olivia see this this is what my situation was once he realized I wasn’t gonna go back he didn’t help financially maybe 200 here and there so I put him on cs. and I know for a fact if I didn’t I wouldn’t get nothing and on top of that I lowered it bc I wanted him to have money so when he does see her he has money to spoil her . This entire year this man has bought her one brown bag not even full of clothes and 2 pairs of shoes . And then expects me to not be in his business but he barely helps and now with a new baby it’s gonna be harder .

@Nalani he just started pulling his weight now since I brought my lawyer and I'm like dude I got receipts from the day I was pregnant that everything she has is because of me

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