How to I deal with remarks and comments

Hey everyone! My toddlers are 2&3. I don't mind having the TV intermittently through the day but I don't allow phones/tablets etc When my mum comes round she has used her phone with my youngest which has resulted in my youngest asking for it everytime she is round. I've gently asked mum if she didn't use her phone but it always results in her making me feel awful. It seems like she doesn't respect my parenting boundaries or even me. We went to a cafe and my toddlers were being toddlers. Again, my mum gets her phone out and and tells my youngest 'I'm going to get in trouble for this' so again, I said no mum. Put it away please, I want my babies to learn how to sit at a table. But she says these things to them which hurt me. She has told my daughters 'mummy's horrible' for not allowing this one thing and it's really upsetting me because it's hardly even a massive request! She has said other things like 'don't tell your mum' all those kind of little side comments and it hurts. I'm unsure how to approach this or even talk to her about it because she gets defensive. It's just an awkward thing now when it never was necessary! Thanks for reading ❤️

Show your support

Sorry but if this was me she wouldn’t be seeing my children until she can respect me and my boundaries simple. What sort of person will slag their mum off to young children that’s horrible! Especially your her daughter! It’s her loss in the end if that’s how she wants to act and it’s not up to her how to parent your child and interfere. Seems like she don’t want to be round normal toddler behaviour and just wants them sat quietly. But definitely nip this in the bud now before they get older and want it more and more.

agree with chloe x

Totally agree with Chloe. First of all, you know I don't want you do something and you do anyway that's so disrespectful. Then you tell my kids to keep secrets??? WTF absolutely not. She wouldn't be seeing my son and I would make it very clear. My family my rules and I've made it clear to my mum multiple times. She knows the consequences, sorry if she's hurt, not my problem, my kids are more importants

@Chloe Thank you for your message. I found it hard to read. But only because I try so badly to excuse her behaviour, plus I find it difficult to muster up the courage to talk boundaries etc with her as I don't want conflict or animosity but I know these conversations are necessary x

We don't do phones/TVs and we just tell people straight. Phones are the worse cos we all keep photos on them. Just say it how it is.

Agree with Chloe if she can't respect you as a Mum and follow simple requests she doesn't see her grandkids

It’s so hard because everyone parents differently but nobody should comment on your choices for your children and they should most certainly not say things like mummy’s horrible or don’t tell mummy, even if it’s said like a joke. Without causing an argument or making a huge deal out of it, next time any comment is mentioned, just say, ‘mum, please don’t say things like that… I know your don’t mean anything by it but you say things like *repeat examples* and it belittles me. I do what I think is best for MY children and I’d like you to respect that and stop with the comments’ If she gets defensive, just say it’s not a conversation, you’re telling her you don’t appreciate it and to stop. And then just move on to another topic x

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌