Vulnerable Question:

Mamas of more than one baby: Do any of you regret having a second (or third, etc)? Or if you really wanted a girl but got a boy (or vice versa) has that affected the way you feel about the baby? My husband really wants a second and I’m really worried I will regret losing the one on one time with my little girl. I’m also worried I’ll be disappointed if it’s a boy. So for many reasons feel like i probably shouldn’t have another, but everyone says it changes once you have one. Sooo.. i guess I’m curious to see if anyone has had the opposite experience? I appreciate any and all vulnerability and honesty so much 🩷
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It changes the dynamic for sure, but it expands the family and multiplies the relationships. My second is not easy at all.... And even tho I tire of it quickly, I'm happy he's in my family. I'm also still wanting another one 😅

I had my 1st then my second I was on contraceptive that failed due to been on antibiotics I wasn't aware this could interfere there's a 2 year gap as Jessica said its changes dynamic. As he was a toddler it was hard tbh hes still hard work but now having my third with a 10 year gap between my eldest and youngest I've come to realise its just him he's hard work. My girls are easy 😂 but honestly I wouldn't change anything.

No regrets, but did have to work through gender disappointment which can be rough for a little while. Tbh it’s been wonderful having littles around the same age with such different personalities. Agreeing with the other mommas in the thread that it changes the dynamic.

No regrets. Once you have another one, you won’t be able to imagine your life without them. I had two then knew I wanted one more and had my youngest and he is amazing! **If you have the love, money, space, support system and health, go for it!! Your heart will make space. It’s amazing to see them all playing together and cuddling

No regrets here, my husband and I always agreed on two kids. We have two girls and that’s what I wanted so it was crazy when I was a little disappointed to find out our second was a girl. I think it was because I knew we wouldn’t have another and so I felt sad I wouldn’t get to experience having a boy. But it passed and I love my two girls so much. They are so sweet when they play together and love each other so much. I can’t wait to see them grow up together. That’s not to say it’s not hard. They both want me a lot of the time at the same time. My oldest has had some jealousy which means I a lot of the time have to breastfeed with both on top of me which gets me overstimulated fast. But I wouldn’t change a thing!

You guys are so great, i appreciate all the opinions!! Solidifies that everyone feels the same that you never regret having another, but you might regret not having another… i think I’m getting ready to agree. But mannn it’s scary! I think the whole “it changes the dynamic” part is what gets me.. i like our dynamic. I don’t want it to change 🥺 but if it’s for the better… might be worth it..?

@Ashley do you mind me asking more info about your gender disappointment? I’m afraid this would be real for me. I want another girl, and ma afraid we’ll get a boy. I’m basically trying to “plan” on it being a boy so I’m not like totally shook. What helped you?

Absolutely. It felt like navigating stages of grief and accepting that as a process to work through helped my mindset. I spoke with my partner and it turns out they had some similar feelings which helped us both to talk through. It was important to be honest with myself and get some time for introspection, asking the big WHY am I disappointed and is this gender news really going to make a difference in how I connect with my child. Turns out what I wished for didn’t matter when I really thought about it, regardless of gender I was focused on connecting with and loving my child. It was a rough few weeks after getting the gender news and navigating feelings around gender disappointment. If you need to talk to someone, please do! Also I found this article really helpful during that time: https://mommylabornurse.com/blog/2nd-trimester/gender-disappointment/

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