Question/thoughts
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Definitely not selfish of you not to want people there straight away! I didn't want anyone round for a good week when my baby came home, people pretty much ignored it and came anyway but I wish I'd put my foot down! Looking back I just wanted to be at home with my partner enjoying my new baby and not worrying about getting dressed/tidying up etc. I'm due my 2nd in March and have already said no one is to visit until we've said we are ready 🙂 some people are happy to have people round soon after, it's just personal preference xx
It’s very much personal preference. I get on very well with my in laws as well they also don’t live close (neither do my parents) the day after we came home from hospital we had both sets stay it was just one night. We had such a lovely day and evening (them doting on new baby and me having a shower etc!) but in the morning I was like THEY NEED TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW!! Not because they did anything and they are super helpful but I just needed to be in our own 😂
Oh I couldn’t have people visiting and potentially living with me postpartum. You need space to feel everything as it comes and not feel you have to put on a brave face because of guests x
I think the best advice I can give is to explain exactly what you’ve put above: you’ve not done this before and so you’re not sure how you’re going to feel/if you’ll be up to visitors, so while they can book immediately if they wish, they run the risk that you won’t be up for visitors and they have to respect your wishes. The lower risk option is to come a little later. Honestly post birth you’re bleeding heavily, everything down there hurts, peeing and pooing is an experience and a half 😂🫠 often you’re trying to establish feeding, you’re exhausted, and the post birth sweats are real. Unless you’re super comfortable/close with your in-law’s I’m thinking you’ll probably appreciate the space to find your feet as a new mum and focus on yourself and baby.
Thank you so much for sharing your advice and experiences Ladies. It’s helped me! 🥰
I think it’s honestly personal preference, with my first little boy I told myself it’d just be me and my partner when I gave birth and then 3 hours in I was crying for my mum😂 and now because of that my MIL has said she wants to be there this time instead of my mum and I’m yet to find a way to tell her I don’t want her there especially seeing me literally naked… my mum was there for me not for the baby she even showered me after and put me first where as my partners whole family weren’t bothered about me. No one other than you actually realises how it feels to just want your mum during/after birth basically stand up for yourself if you don’t want them there straight after you give birth just explain you want time to rest and settle in to being a mum xx