Am I over reacting?

Firstly, I just want to say I by no means dislike my mil she’s a lovely woman but from time to time she does or says things that get under my skin. Sometimes I genuinely don’t think she realises how she comes across or what she does. I also have a tendency to overthink and over react and I KNOW this about myself but there’s this one incident that I just cannot shake off and it makes my blood boil any time I think about it. When I had my second child and was in hospital, my toddler was staying with my husbands parents. They came to visit us in hospital when she was born and they brought my toddler. Thing is, I was very apprehensive about the moment my toddler would meet their sibling and I wanted it to be special and done in a gentle and soft way. MIL came in and straight away goes to my toddler “look *toddlers name* it’s a baby!” And rushed over to the baby whilst holding my toddler who actually ended up looking horrified and as though she was going to burst into tears. She hadn’t seen me for ages and she’s found her mum with this new baby and that’s how she receives all this. I was actually livid inside. I just said “can I meet her?” And took my toddler off her and reassured her first before showing her the baby again. I just feel like this once in a life time moment was taken away from me and I could be over reacting but gosh I’ll never forget it and it hurts to think about. Am I over reacting? Should I just accept it might have been done out of ignorance and wasn’t intentional and move on?

Show your support

It does sound like a normal thing someone would say, especially if they haven’t been told otherwise. Did you tell anyone/mil especially how you wanted it to happen? What she should say to toddler on the way/when they got there? If not then I don’t think you should be mad at her for this one!🥴x

Did your husband or yourself brief his parents of how you would like the first meeting to go? If they knew how you would have preferred it and went ahead and did what they did then that’s not nice. However, if they weren’t aware of what your preference was and innocently came in then I wouldn’t be too cross at the MIL this time around. I know it s a moment you won’t get back but you have so many more beautiful memories and love to focus on in the present and future 🫶

If you wanted it done a certain way you should’ve told her exactly how you wanted it done

Did you speak about it with mil beforehand?

@Munaza nope I didn’t speak about this moment beforehand with anyone so I think you’re right x

@Sonia @Kath we didn’t speak about it beforehand no, I just didn’t think to. I think also the thing is I always pictured in my head I would be the ones introducing them and I can’t even remember if she even properly said hello to me, she just came in and rushed over to the baby with my toddler so there was also no thought from her about my toddler seeing me first

I know the interaction wasn’t what you expected but some people really need you to spell it out for them. (I know my mil needs alll the direction and step by step process 🤣) On your next events and moments, give her or your husband instruction if you want something done in a specific way so there’s no room for error.

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